


You’re The Last Thing I See

by Anne_Hathagay



Series: Only The Good Love Young [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: Anal Sex, Austistic Brittany S. Pierce, Austistic Jude Constantine, Girl Penis Brittany, Girl Penis Santana, I forgot what I’m supposed to tag, Multi, No Faberritana Break Up, Non binary Jude Constantine, Slow Burn Unique Adams/Marley Rose, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24980035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anne_Hathagay/pseuds/Anne_Hathagay
Summary: As Quinn and Brittany move into their senior year can they survive the long distance relationship with Rachel and Santana
Relationships: Jude Constantine/Fynn Constantine, Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray/Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce, Unique Adams/Marley Rose
Series: Only The Good Love Young [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706866
Kudos: 11





	1. The New Rachel

In the choir room “Face it Rachel Berry was the group’s undisputed star, so really the only question is: which one of you is the new Rachel?” JBI asks Quinn, Brittany, Tina, Artie, Blaine and Jude.

“I am.” They all say before giving each other death glares.

“Glee!” Mr Shue yells, clapping his hands and walking into the choir room as everyone cheers. “We are coming off a National Championship, but it’s time to look forward. And thanks to Glee now being the coolest club in school, this shouldn’t be a problem.” Mr Shue says. “Yes we’ve lost some big names and voices. But we still have some huge ones in here. And I promise to do everything I can to replace the ones we've lost. And in that I’d like to introduce you to our newest member: the MVP of last year's nationals, Wade ‘Unique’ Adams.” There’s scattered claps and whoops as Unique walks in

“That’s a great haircut Mercedes. I thought you graduated.” Brittany says

“Unique let me apologise for Brittany she’s autistic and sometimes gets extremely confused. Give her a few weeks and she’ll get to know you.” Quinn says

“I wanted to be somewhere where different is celebrated.” Wade says

“We are so excited to have you.” Mr Shue says. “Guys where's the love?” He asks

“I think Wade is great but the competition to be the new Rachel between me, Quinn, Brittany, Jude and Tina is already hot enough as it is. The last thing we need is another contender” Blaine says

“‘The New Rachel’?” Mr Shue asks

“Every glee club needs a star performer.” Tina says

“And it shall be me.” Jude says with a sweep of their hands

“Rachel while I love her was that but she’s gone and in New York many of us want the job.” Quinn explains

“Okay we don’t win with stars. We win as a team. One that supports new members. Now I don’t wanna hear anymore of this new Rachelr testuff okay?” Mr Shue says gesturing for Wade to sit down

“Make no mistake: Unique will bed the New Rachel.” Wade says

Brittany, Quinn, Jude and Tina lean over to Wade and Blaine. “We decide this on our own then Thunderdome style. 5:00 auditorium.” Blaine says

“So here are the rules: we perform the song for Artie, he makes his choice, we go to Mr Shue as a group, and we tell him who the new lead soloist is. Were hopefully it’ll be me because that’s what Rachel wanted.” Tina says

“Though I am uncomfortable going behind Mr Shue’s back, I am a director. Therefore I never pass up an opportunity to judge people.” Artie says

“What song are we singing?” Wade asks

“What our darling girlfriend Rachel would do. The song of the summer ‘Call Me Maybe’.” Quinn says

“Do you need time to prepare?” Tina asks

“I can sing any song, any time. Just press play and get back.” Wade says

[Wade:]  
“I threw a wish in the well  
Don't ask me, I'll never tell  
I looked to you as it fell  
And now you're in my way”

[Blaine:]  
“I'd trade my soul for a wish  
Pennies and dimes for a kiss  
I wasn't looking for this  
But now you're in my way”

[Tina with Wade:]  
“Your stare was holdin'  
Ripped jeans, skin was showin'  
Hot night, wind was blowin'”

[Tina:]  
“Where you think you're going, baby?”

[Brittany:]  
“Hey, I just met you  
And this is crazy  
But here's my number  
So call me, maybe?”

[Tina:]  
“It's hard to look right  
At you baby  
But here's my number  
So call me, maybe?”

[Blaine and Wade:]  
“Hey! I just met you  
And this is crazy  
But here's my number  
So call me, maybe?”

[Brittany and Tina:]  
“And all the other boys  
Try to chase me”

[Tina, Blaine, Jude, Quinn, Wade and Brittany:]  
“But here's my number  
So call me, maybe?”

[Blaine and Brittany:]  
“You took your time with the call  
I took no time with the fall  
You gave me nothing at all  
But still, you're in my way  
I beg and borrow and steal  
Had foresight and it's real  
I didn't know I would feel it  
But it's in my way”

[Tina with Wade:]  
“Your stare was holdin'  
Ripped jeans, skin was showin'  
Hot night, wind was blowin'”

[Tina:]  
“Where you think you're going, baby?”

[Brittany:]  
“Hey, I just met you ([Wade:] Ooh yeah!)  
And this is crazy ([Wade:] Crazy!)  
But here's my number  
So call me, maybe? ([Wade:] Call me yeah!)”

[Tina:]  
“It's hard to look right  
At you baby ([Wade:] Baby!)  
But here's my number  
So call me, maybe?”

[Blaine and Wade:]  
“Hey! I just met you  
And this is crazy  
But here's my number  
So call me, maybe?”

[Tina and Brittany:]  
“And all the other boys  
Try to chase me”

[Tina, Blaine, Jude, Quinn, Wade and Brittany:]  
“But here's my number  
So call me, maybe?”

[Blaine and Tina:]  
“Before you came into my life  
I missed you so bad  
I missed you so bad  
I missed you so so bad”

[Brittany and Wade:]  
“Before you came into my life  
I missed you so bad  
And you should know that  
I missed you so so bad…”

[Tina:]  
“It's hard to look right ([Blaine:] hard to look right)  
At you baby ([Brittany:] At you baby!)  
But here's my number ([Brittany:] yeah, yeah, yeah!)”

[Jude and Wade:]  
“So call me, maybe?  
([Wade:] Yeah, yeah, yeah)”

[Brittany & Quinn:]  
“Hey, I just met you,  
And this is crazy ([Blaine:] Crazy!)  
But here's my number ([Tina:] Maybe!)  
So call me, maybe? ([Blaine:] Oh, yeah, yeah!)”

[Tina:]  
“And all the ([Wade:] Other boys!) other boys, ([Wade:] Try to chase me!)  
Try to chase me ([Blaine:] Try to chase me!)  
But here's my number  
So call me, maybe? ([Wade:] Call me maybe!)”

[Brittany (with Tina, Blaine and Wade belting):]  
“Before you came into my life ([Tina:] Before you came into my life!)  
I missed you so bad ([Tina:] So bad!)  
I missed you so bad ([Quinn:] Missed you so so bad!)  
I missed you so so bad”

[Wade (with Tina belting):]  
“Before you came into my life ([Blaine:] Before you!)  
I missed you so bad ([Brittany:] So bad!)  
You should know that ([Jude:] Yeah!)”

[Tina, Blaine, Jude, Quinn, Wade and Brittany:]  
“So call me, maybe?”

“So Artie who’s the new Rachel?” Blaine asks

In the Lima Bean

“So how’s Santana and Rachel?” Blaine asks

“They’re good. apparently Rachel’s dance teacher idolises her.” Quinn says

“Santana really busy with cheer practice and class and it’s really hard to make out or have awesome foursome lady sex over webcam.” Brittany says sighing whistfully.

“I miss them.” Quinn says pulling her into a hug

“And Beth does too.” Brittany says as Kurt walks over

“Here’s an extra hot soy latte for him and two no chocolates for her.” Kurt says setting their drinks down

“Merci.” Brittany says

“I can’t for Friday Glee Club auditions.” Kurt says

“Yeah that sounds like fun.” Brittany says

“It’ll be nice.” Blaine says

“Is it depressing that I’m more excited about it than any of you?” Kurt asks

“No.” Blaine and Quinn say

“Yes.” Brittany says bluntly. Then Kurt goes to serve Kitty and refill the biscotti

“You’ve had enough time so who is it?” Tina asks

“You can’t rush the casting process. My genius needs it dream time.” Artie says

“Man come on we all that I was way too fabulous not to win.” Jude says before scooping up some pasta and eating it

“You guys are in Glee Club right? Hi. I’m gonna try out. I’m a sophomore. My name is Marley.” Marley says

“Hi Marley my name is might have been.” Jude says offering their hand

“Might have been? That’s an unusual name.” Marley says shaking their hand

“I’m kidding the names Jude. I’m non binary so I’m not a boy or a girl I prefer they them pronouns.” Jude says turning back to their lunch

“We’ll see you at try outs.” Quinn says

“Unique your make up is fabulous today.” Jude says

“Why thank you and your nail polish needs a fresh coat.” Unique syas

“Thank you you are so right.” Jude says looking at the chipped nail polish on their hands

The popular kids begin insulting the new lunch lady and Brittany can see Jude bending their fork once twice three times and their other hand is clenched in a fist of rage. Jude turn back to their pudding cup

Auditions

“Okay let’s get started.” Mr Shue syas there are some truly awful auditions and then Just Jake comes on stage.

“Somethings we don't talk about it  
Rather do without it  
Just hold the smile  
Falling in and out of love  
Ashamed and proud of  
Together all the while”

“You can never say never  
While we don't know when  
But time and time again  
Younger now than we were before”

And then Marley shows up and sings “Some folks like to get away  
For a holiday from the neighborhood  
Hop a flight to Miami Beach  
Or to Hollywood  
But I'm taking a Greyhound  
On the Hudson River Line  
I'm in a New York state of mind”

“It was so easy living day by day  
Out of touch with the rhythm and the blues  
But now I need a little give and take  
The New York Times,  
The Daily News”

“It comes down to reality  
And it's fine with me  
'cause I've let it slide”

“Don't care if it's Chinatown or on Riverside  
I don't have any reasons  
I've left them all behind  
I'm in a New York state of mind”

“I'm just taking a Greyhound  
On the Hudson River Line”

“'Cause I'm in I'm in a New York state of Mind”

“New York State of Mind”

“Thank you. Thank you.” Mr Shue says as they all clap

“Wow.” Jude whispers to Brittany they show their arm. “Goosebumps.” They say

“I know.” Brittany says

“Now that’s what I call star quality. What do you guys think?” Mr Shue asks

“Brilliant. I’ve got goosebumps and that is something I haven’t had in a long time.” Jude says

Brittany Jude and Unique walk in with Unique in drag and Jude with a fresh coat of nail polish and a serious guy liner going on. While Kurt chews out the others Unique and Jude swap make up tips in the corner. Then Marley walks in with Mr Shue. “Guys this young lady gave one of the best auditions I’ve seen since Brittany bought Jude in back in 2009. Let’s give it for our newest member Marley Rose.” Mr Shue says

“Marley on behalf of the New Directions welcome.” Blaine says

“Thank you. I’m really excited to be here.” Marley says smile plastered on her face

“I really like you sweater. Where’d you get it?” Sugars asks

“Thanks J-Crew.” Marley answers

At lunch

“Hey Marley have a seat.” Jude says pulling the chair out next to them

“Thank you.” Marley says sitting down

“So Josh what’s with the nail polish and eyeliner?” Kitty asks

“You know what I am done taking it for everyone calling me by my dead name. I am not Josh and this isn’t some sort of phase. You know what screw it.” Jude says leaping across the table before punching one of the jocks in the face. “You can talk all the shit you like about me my friends and Marley’s mom but I have one thing you can never have acceptance.” They say standing up as Brittany drags him away. “I would have killed all three of them.” Jude says

“Yeah you would my friend. You good?” Brittany asks

“I will be.” Jude says sitting against the wall

Then Marley walks over. “That was really brave and stupid what you did for me and for my mom. Are you hurt?” She asks

“No.” Jude says before putting their hand on the ground and hissing. “Yes.” They say

“Let me look.” Marley says, taking Judes hand in her own. “You split your knuckle and dislocated your wrist. This is gonna hurt.” Marley says putting a pen in Jude’s mouth. “Three two one.” Marley says before popping Jude’s wrist back into place making Jude yell out in pain. “I’m sorry.” She says

“All right it’s not the first time I’ve done that. You remember Kurt from auditions he was getting bullied and I punched the guy in the face after the fight with Sam and some of the seniors who graduated and dislocated my wrist then. And I beat the sophomore rugby captain after that commercial aired.” Jude says standing up

“Yeah I saw that.” Marley says

“Brittany also got punched.” Jude adds

“Come to rehearsals later.” Brittany says

“I don’t know. Those guys were awful to my mom.” Marley says

“That’s why we’re here to apologise.” Blaine says

“We got so caught up in being popular that we lost sight of what made this club special. We’re all outcasts and misfits.” Artie says

“Where else could I dress like this and be welcomed with open arms?” Unique stays

“Where could I get acceptance for my true gender?” Jude asks

“Where would I get accepted for being a polygamist with a daughter.” Quinn says

“Where do you think someone who’s intersexed get accepted?” Brittany says

“What they’re trying to say is that it doesn’t matter how much of a freak you are you will always be welcome here. But the best part about Glee is you get to be a star. Which is why we were hoping that you’d join us this afternoon and sing lead for a new song we’ve been working on.” Blaine says

“I’d beat those guys up again in heartbeat if it would convince you to stay but if not let the majesty and mystery of the dynamic duet of Unique and Jude convince you.” Jude says using Uniques outstretched hand to twirl on the spot

“I’m not comfortable sitting with that cheerleader and these guys at lunch.” Marley says

“Nope me either.” Jude says

“That won’t be a problem. We could handle Gimpy, Tarantula Head, Richie Poor and a couple freaks because you guys were national champs like us but our invitation was not extended to Pre-op Precious based in the novel Barf by Sapphire or Mike and Molly's Daughter.” Kitty says

“Then I guess we’re not in your clique.” Jude says

“You know I was kind of hoping you’d say that.” Kitty says as Marley, Unique and Jude get slushied.

“And with that order is restored.” The jock Jude punched earlier says

“Oh how I have missed the ice cold bitch slap of a Slushie facial.” Jude says wiping the red ice out of their eyes

“Well looks like you guys have been officially welcomed into the Glee Club.” Artie says 

“Unique's eyes they are on fire.” She says

“Let’s get you three cleaned up and to rehearsal.” Blaine says

[Marley:]  
“I've made up my mind  
Don't need to think it over  
If I'm wrong I am right  
Don't need to look no further  
This ain't lust  
I know this is love but”

“If I tell the world  
I'll never say enough  
Cause it was not said to you  
And that's exactly what I need to do  
If I end up with you”

[Marley (with New Directions):]  
“Should I give up  
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?  
Even if it leads nowhere, (Nowhere)  
Or would it be a waste?  
Even if I knew my place should I leave it there?  
Should I give up  
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?  
Even if it leads nowhere””

[Marley:]  
“Should I give up  
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?  
Even if it leads nowhere”

[Marley with New Directions:]  
“Or would it be a waste? (Would it be a waste)  
Even if I knew my place, (If I knew my place)  
Should I leave it there? (Should I leave it there)  
Should I give up, (Should I)  
Or should I just (keep on) keep on (chasing) chasing (pavements) pavements?  
Should I just (keep on chasing) chasing (pavements) pavements?”

“Ooooh”

[Marley with New Directions:]  
“Should I give up  
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?  
(Pavements)  
Even if it leads nowhere  
(Even if I woah)  
Or would it be a waste?  
Even if I knew my place should I leave it there?  
Should I give up, (Should I keep on)  
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?  
(Chasing pavements)”

“Even if it leads nowhere”

Everyone crowds round Marley and hugs and praises her


	2. Britney 2.0

“My name is Brittany S. Pierce and I finally know how Jesus feels in his house way up at the North Pole because I am on top of the world. Senior year was awesome, and now I get to relive every minute of it. I’m head Cheerio vice Rachel of the Glee Club dating the three most awesome and beautiful girls in the world and now I’m planning a Middle East style sham election that will install me as senior class President for life.” Brittany says

“Brittany who are you talking to?” Blaine asks

“I thought I was doing a voice over.” Brittany says. She walks down the hall and then says. “It’s Brittany bitch.”

“Hey, over there,  
Please forgive me,  
If I'm comin' on too strong  
Hate to stare,  
But you're winnin',  
And they're playin' my favorite song”

“So come here,  
Little closer,  
Wanna whisper in your ear,  
Make it clear,  
Little question,  
Wanna know just how you feel”

“If I said my heart was beating loud,  
If we could escape the crowd somehow  
If I said I want your body now,  
Would you hold it against me?”

“Cause you,   
Feel like paradise  
And I need a vacation tonight,  
So if I said I want your body now,  
Would you hold it against me?”

“If I said I want your body... Would you hold it against me?”

“Give me something good,  
Don't want to wait, I want it now”

“Pop it like a hood,  
And show me how you work it out”

“Alright.   
(If I said my heart was beating loud)  
(If I said I want your body now)  
Would you hold it against me?”

“If I said my heart was beating loud,  
If we could escape the crowd somehow  
If I said I want your body now,  
Would you hold it against me?”

“Well that was just garbage. Garbage wrapped in skin. Brittany Quinn my office now!” Sue yells into her megaphone. “Brittany Quinn I’m afraid it’s time for a little tough love. I hold in my hand the most recent algebra test of one Becky Jackson. Our plucky little Ewok waddled her way to a respectable C-plus. Now Brittany your performance on the very same exam, unearthed the hitherto undiscovered grade F-minus. You answered every question with ‘see other side’ where you composed an elaborate crayon scape entitled ‘happyville. The town where math was never invented’. And you Miss Fabray didn’t ever show up to the exam.” Sue says

“That’s me and that’s Santana, Rachel and Quinn and that’s Kurt in heaven. And look that’s you.” Brittany explains 

“Brittany, Quinn, you’re terrible role models for the Cheerios! Last year I was lost in haze of pregnancy hormones and I allowed the fact that you two effectively repeated your freshman year. The Cheerios grade point average has dropped three full points. My girls no longer see academic achievement as a worthy goal, and yesterday I caught one of them trying to marry a squirrel before letting it have its way with her.” Sue says 

“That’s ‘cause I believe in marriage equality for all land mammals.” Brittany says

“And I was too tired to stop her.” Quinn says

“Brittany, Quinn you’re off the Cheerios! I’m giving the top spot to Kitty. I’m afraid you’re both gonna have to lose the high pony.” Sue syas

“Tough love feels a lot like mean.” Brittany says standing up

“Britt Quinn I’m so sorry Sue was so mean to you. I wish we were there to make it better.” Santana says

“If it’s any consolation my dance teacher an even bigger bitch than Sue was last year.” Rachel says appearing behind Santana

“Do you think we could have some fun over Skype later?” Quinn asks

“I wish I could but I’ve got cheer practice every night till midnight till homecoming. I’m so sorry but I’ve really got to go. Bye.” She says singing off

“What’s so bad about your dance teacher?” Quinn asks the glum looking Rachel

“She says I’m not sexy enough.” Rachel answers

“Then take Santana to your next class and dance the tango with her to show her how sexy our girlfriend Rachel Berry can be.” Brittany says

“Thanks guy. Shit! Santana turn off the stove!” Rachel yells as Brittany hangs up and looks at Lord Tubbington

“I’m not talking to you, I know you joined a gang.” Brittany says

“Sorry we’re late. Someone stole my compass and Quinn doesn’t have one. We can’t wear our Cheerios uniforms anymore, so Quinn and I got these outfits in the lost and found.” Brittany says as she and Quinn stand in the doorway of Miss Pilsbury office

“Sorry I’m late I was stuck in the toilet.” Jude says wearing two different coloured converse high tops and a colour discoordinated outfit

“Take a seat Britt, Quinn, Jude.” Mr Shue says nodding to the three seats

“Are we getting kicked off the Glee Club too?” Brittany asks

“Of course not. We’re just really concerned about you.” Mr Shue says

“Yeah. Brittany Quinn Jude. I think you should take a look at these.” Miss Pilsbury says handing them each a pamphlet reading ‘so you look like crap’

“That’s okay. Quinn and I started taking Lord Tubbington pills for feline depression.” Brittany says handing the two back

“Yeah and I started listening to Made in Heaven by Queen on repeat.” Jude says handing their pamphlet back as well

“Brittany, Quinn, Jude I think the three of you should meet with Emma daily for a while. I think you’ve all underestimated the impact being held back has had on all three of you” Mr Shue says

“Well, thanks, but Quinn and I don’t have time. After school we’re hopping into bed, eating cashews and bacon and watching the client list marathon.” Brittany says

“Yeah and I’m cranking up the volume as I said to listen to Made in Heaven.” Jude says

“And with that we sweep out the doorway, my voiceover continuing down the hallway.” Brittany says as the three walk out of the door

“Great news guys. Principal Figgins has asked us to perform at the annual back to school pep assembly. Now I understand our National Champion street cred has dropped a bit since school started, but this is our chance to really wow them and get it back.” Mr Shue says

“What are we gonna perform?” Joe asks

“Good question.” Mr Shue says as he writes ‘Britney 2.0/Queen 1.0’ on the whiteboard. “We’re a family in here and when some of our family are falling down it’s up to us to get together to pick them back up again.” Mr Shue says as Jude eats Doritos Quinn eats Twinkies and Brittany eats Oreos. 

“Oh my god. Are we doing Britney week again?” Tina asks

“You three really came into your own during the last Britney week but just in case to cover all our bases I’ve put Queen on there to bring Jude back. You showed us youth energy confidence she inspires you and and you inspire us.” Mr Shue says. “So everyone picks a Queen or Britney song for the week and we will do a Britney song at the pep rally. And I’ve asked Artie to give us an example for a Queen song and Blaine for Britney.” He says

“This ones for you Brittany and Quinn.” Blaine says

“For whatever reason,  
I feel like I've been wanting you all my life  
You don't understand,  
I'm so glad we're at the same place at the same time”

“It's over now  
I spotted you dancing,  
You made all the boys stare,  
Those lips and your brown eyes,  
And the sexy hair”

“I should shake my thing,  
I make the world want you,  
Tell your girls you'll be back,  
I wanna see what you can do”

“What would it take for you to just leave with me,  
Not trynna sound conceited,   
Me and you were meant to be  
You're a sexy girl,  
I'm a nice guy,  
Let's turn this dance floor into our own little nasty world”

“If I was your boyfriend, (Sometimes a girl just needs one)  
Keep you on my arm girl (To love her and to hold)  
I can be a gentleman (And when a girl is with one)  
If I was your boyfriend (Then she's in control)  
If I was your boyfriend”

“Spend a week with your boy,   
I'll be callin' you my girlfriend  
If I was your man,   
I'd never leave you girl,  
I just want to love and treat you right”

“If I was your boyfriend, (Sometimes a girl just needs one)  
Keep you on my arm girl (To love her and to hold)  
I can be a gentleman (And when a girl is with one)  
If I was your boyfriend (Then she's in control)  
If I was your boyfriend”

“Na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na (Yeah Girl)  
Na,na,na,na,na,na  
Yeah if I was your boyfriend,  
Na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na  
Aye  
Na,na,na,na,na,na  
If I was your boyfriend”

“Can't live with em'”

“Can't live without em'”

“This is for Jude.” Artie says

“One man, one goal,  
One mission.  
One heart, one soul,  
Just one solution.”

“One flash of light.  
One god, one vision.”

“One flesh, one bone,  
One true religion.  
One voice, one hope,  
One real decision.”

“Gimme one vision.”

“No wrong, no right.  
I'm gonna tell you there's no black and no white.  
No blood, no stain.  
All we need is one world-wide vision.”

“One flesh, one bone,  
One true religion.  
One race, one hope,  
One real decision.”

“I had a dream when I was young,  
A dream of sweet illusion:  
A glimpse of hope and unity,  
And visions of one sweet union.”

“But a cold wind blows,  
And a dark rain falls,  
And in my heart it shows.  
Look what they've done to my dream.”

“One vision!”

“So give me your hands,  
Give me your hearts.  
I'm ready.  
There's only one direction.  
One world, one nation,  
One vision.”

“No hate, no fight,  
Just excitation.  
All through the night  
It's a celebration.”

“One.”

“One vision.”

“One flesh, one bone,  
One true religion.  
One voice, one hope,  
One real decision.”

“Gimme one night.  
Gimme one hope.  
Just gimme.  
One man, one man,  
One bar, one night,  
One day.  
Just gimme gimme, gimme, gimme.  
Fried chicken.”

“We’re once again inspired by the awesomeness of Britney.” Brittany and Quinn say

“And I’m once again inspired by the brilliance of Queen.” Jude says

Sam Tina and Joe Hart sit on stools singing 3

[Tina, Joe, and Sam:]  
“One, two, three,  
Not only you and me,  
Got one eighty degrees,  
And I'm caught in between,  
Counting one, two, three,  
Peter, Paul, and Mary,  
Gettin' down with 3p,  
Everybody loves counting  
Everybody loves counting  
Everybody loves counting”

[Tina:]  
“Three is a charm,  
Two is not the same,  
I don't see the harm,  
So are you game?”

“Let's make a team,  
Make em' say my name,  
Loving the extreme,  
Now are you game?”

[Joe:]  
“Are you in?”

[Joe and Tina:]  
“Living in sin is the new thing,”

[Joe:]  
“Are you in?”

[Joe and Tina:]  
“I am counting!”

[Tina, Joe, and Sam:]  
“One, two, three,  
Not only you and me,  
Got one eighty degrees,  
And I'm caught in between,  
Counting one, two, three,  
Peter, Paul, and Mary,  
Gettin' down with 3p,  
Everybody loves counting,”

[Sam:]  
“What we do is innocent,  
Just for fun,   
and nothing meant”

[Tina:]  
“If you don't like the company,  
Let's just do it,  
You and me”

[Sam:]  
“You and me”

[Tina, Joe, and Sam:]  
“Or three,  
Or four”

[Sam:]   
“On the floor!”

[Joe:]  
“(On the floor!)  
(On the floor!)”

[Tina:]  
“On the floor!”

[Sam:]  
“On the floor!”

[Tina, Joe, and Sam:]  
“One, two, three,  
Not only you and me,  
Got one eighty degrees,  
And I'm caught in between,  
Counting one, two, three,  
Peter, Paul, and Mary,  
Gettin' down with 3p,  
Everybody loves counting,”

Then Unique screams as she sees Brittany Jude and Quinn with shaving razors ready to cut off their own hair. “Brittany Quinn Jude what are you doing?” Mr Shue asks

“Coach Sylvester has taken away my high pony. If I can’t have my high pony then I don’t want any hair at all.” Brittany says

“I also don’t want any hair if I can’t have a high pony.” Quinn says

“I’m tired of people trying to set my hair on fire.” Jude says as the three go back to attempting to shave their heads

In the hallway

“Brittany S. Pierce. Jude Constantine Sargeant, Quinn Fabray what do you say to the reports the three of you have gone off the rails?” JBI says following the three

“Leave us alone JBI.” Brittany says until she and Quinn pull out umbrellas and begin attacking JBI with them while Jude attacks the cameraman.

“Babe you can’t attack JBI.” Santana says looking at them disapprovingly

“He pissed me off.” Quinn says

“Yes JBI is a little shit and he was obsessed with me all through high school but still you two attacked him with umbrellas and Jude attacked JBIs cameraman.” Rachel says

“Exactly I was sick of the way he objectifies you now that you’re not here.” Brittany says

“No more attacking JBI. Shit!” Santana says

“Again really?” Rachel says as they both scramble out of the room as the smoke alarm beeps

Everyone stares at Quinn Jude and Brittany. “Kiki why is everyone in the Glee Club staring at us?” Brittany asks into the phone she has in one hand a huge coffee in the other Jude and Quinn also hold the same size coffee as Brittany

“Because those fools are jealous.” Kiki answers

“Who’s Kiki?” Tina asks

“Kiki is Siri’s super smart older cousin who’s really jealous of how famous Siri’s gotten.” Jude says taking a sip of their coffee

“She lives inside this super cheap phone three of us found at the laundromat.” Brittany says

“What size coffee are those?” Sam asks

“Kiki what size coffee are we drinking?” Quinn asks into the phone in Brittanys hand

“You three are drinking settanta’s; 70 ounces of espresso.” Kiki answers

“Thank you Kiki you’re the only one we can trust now that Rachel Santana and Fynn are too busy for us.” Jude says into the phone

“Brittany, Quinn, Jude we’re worried about you.” Joe says

“We know how hard it must have been to get kicked off the Cheerios! We want to help you get back on your feet and start performing again.” Blaine says

“You three should take lead at the pep assembly on Friday.” Tina says

“Okay there just one problem we have of lip sync.” Brittany says

“We don’t lip sync in Glee.” Blaine says chuckling

“Well mine and Quinn’s voice are too weak to sing live we have had a lot of sex in a lot of place including right where Tina sitting.” Brittany says Tina jumps off the piano and screams

“And my hands are too shaky to play guitar or piano.” Jude says

“This sounds like a terrible idea.” Artie says

“We’ll record the song in advance and I’ll choreograph an amazing routine without anyone having to worry about running out of breath, and Mr Schuester will never know the difference. Lot’s of performers do this now. Kristen Steward, James Earl Jones.” Brittany says

“Kiki is it a good idea for us to lip sync at the pep assembly?” Jude asks the phone

“It’s not a good idea. It’s a great idea. Can I get you another settanta?” Kiki says all three take sip

“How’d it go?” Brittany asks

“She said I’m still not sexy.” Rachel says

“I will add we slaughter that routine.” Santana says appearing

“Did you guys turn off the oven today?” Quinn adks

“Yes.” Rachel says then Beth walks in. “Hi Beth baby. Mama and mami miss you.” Rachel says

“Is New York nice mama?” Beth asks

“Well my dance teacher is not very nice but I like New York. It's big and scary but I’m brave, are you being brave for mom and mum?” Rachel asks the little blonde girl

“Yes I miss you and mami. I have to go back to bed.” Beth says

“Bye bye baby.” Rachel and Santana say

“We have to go too, we've got the pep assembly tomorrow.” Brittany says

“We’ll talk soon.” Rachel says before hanging up

“Brittany, Quinn, Jude do you three want a baby wipe you have Cheeto and Dorito hands and mouth.” Tina says

“We’re fine thank you.” They all say stuffing more of the chips into their mouth and swigging from the 2 litre bottles of Coke and Fanta

“It's Brittany Bitch.”

“I see you,  
And I just want to dance with you”

“Every time they turn the lights down,  
Just wanna go the extra mile for you,  
My display of affection,  
Feels like no one else in the room”

“We can get down like there's no one around,  
We keep on rockin', we keep on rockin'  
Cameras are flashin' while we're dirty dancin',  
They keep watchin, keep watchin”

“Feels like the crowd is sayin'...  
Gimme, Gimme more  
Gimme more,  
Gimme, Gimme more  
Gimme, Gimme more  
Gimme more  
Gimme, Gimme more  
Gimme, Gimme more   
Gimme more  
Gimme, Gimme more  
Gimme, Gimme more  
Gimme more  
Gimme, Gimme more”

“They’re lip syncing!” Kitty yells as the crowd starts booing, noticing that Jude isn’t playing synth keyboard but is instead greedily shoving Doritos in their mouth while Quinn and Brittany share a pack of Cheetos. 

“I just can't... Control myself...  
They want more...  
Well I'll give em' more”

As Blaine pulls the curtain as Brittany and Quinn fall over and Jude pulls the keyboard on themselves

“In the 58 year history of the William McKinley High School Glee Club, there has never been such a debacle! We do not lip sync ever!” Mr Shue yells

“We’re sorry Mr Shue we were just trying to help Brittany, Quinn and Jude out.” Blaine says

“Lip syncing is the equivalent of blood doping in professional sports! Every gain we’ve made over the last three years has been wiped out. And I’m not just talking about our reputation here at McKinley. If the National Show Choir Board of Review gets wind of this we could be barred from competing. What do you have to say for yourselves?” Mr Shue asks

“To quote the legend herself ‘if I met me I would say a quick hello and then think I was a really nice girl’ and I resign from Glee Club.” Brittany says before walking out the door

“Yeah me too.” Quinn says standing up and following Brittany out the door

“To quote the legends Freddie Mercury and Brian May themselves ‘Freddie we’re a family. No we’re not. You’ve got families wife's, children, what have I got?’ And with that I also resign from Glee Club.” Jude says walking out the door

“Thanks for drawing us a map.” Brittany says

“Yeah I always keep in my pocket in case someone steals my compass.” Sma says as Jude opens their bag and pulls out another pack of Doritos. “How many packets of Doritos do you have?” Sam asks

“Unlimited.” Jude says stuffing them into their mouth

“Look I know what you three are doing. The lip syncing beating up Jacob Ben Israel and his cameraman. You’re all intentionally hitting rock bottom.” Sam says as Brittany offers a pop tart to Quinn who takes one

“So we can all make a glorious comeback just like Britney.” Brittany says

“And Freddie.” Jude adds

“I mean look at her. She got paid 14 million dollars to be in X Factor. She looks great. She has an amazing perfume you can smell from miles away. No matter what happens to her she just comes back stronger.” Brittany syas

“And look at Freddie he went from literally being thrown in a dumpster to headline one of the highest grossing tours in rock history. And he still carried on till he died no matter what happened to him he came back brighter than before.” Jude says

“Right. So consider this the last stop on the train wreck express. An intervention.” Sam says taking the Doritos from Jude and the pop tarts from Brittany.

“Thank you.” They say hugging him

“I’m so ready to come back.” Brittany says

“Yeah me too.” Jude says

“Totally.” Quinn says

“I’m just sad that everyone’s mad at us.” Brittany says

“I just don’t think they understood what you where up to.” Sam says

“Yeah.” Quinn says chuckling

“But you did.” Jude says. Jude stands up. “Thank you I have to go nowhere because that hug was awesome and I have a feeling this intervention isn’t over is it?” Jude says sitting back down.

“I think the four of us just think the same.” Sam says

“It’s because we’re all awesome.” Jude says

“You guys okay? You all still seem kinda bummed.” Sam asks

“I don’t know. Santana and Rachel would have understood. And then she would have used mean words against anyone who got down on me. And then Rachel would go around apologising to everyone Santana was mean to. Rachel and Santana were like sweet and sour candy you couldn’t have one without the other.” Brittany says

“Fynn was the same, he knew exactly what to say to make me feel better about myself. That's one of the reasons why I married him.” Jude says

“You miss them huh?” Sam asks

“I guess I just miss the little things the way Rachel would always be the first to initiate a make out session or the smell of Santana’s armpits. Santana and I had interesting lady sex. But Quinn Santana and Rachel where my best friends.” Brittany says at the strange looks on Jude and Sam's faces.

“Same I miss the way Fynn’s hair glistened in the rain the way he just walked even when I was away with fairies. And he never yelled and he never ever told me he didn’t accept or love me. But yeah he was also my best friend.” Jude says

“Well now the three of you have a new friend and he’s blonde and awesome. I’m talking about me. Now you just got to figure out a way to get you and Quinn back on the Cheerios! Jude you need to find your guitar and maybe stop eating Doritos.” Sam says snatching the bag in Jude hand and then Judes backpack

“It’s all part of the comeback.” Brittany says

In Coach Sues office

“I am here to inform you of your legal requirement to restore mine and Quinn’s high pony and put us back on the Cheerios!” Brittany says

“I beg your pardon?” Sue asks taking her glasses off

“I studied the McKinley High Student Council Charter, and it says that the senior class president continues their term until they graduate, which I never graduated, so technically I’m still president. I drafted an executive order demanding that Brittany S. Pierce and Quinn Fabray are reinstated as members of the McKinley High Cheerios!” Brittany says handing the sheet of paper to Sue

“Brittany, Quinn take a seat.” Sue says they both do so. “This is clearly the plan of two idiots. But a plan nonetheless, and one that requires the barest modicum of human logic which frankly I thought was beyond you two as a gruesome twosome. If you want back on the Cheerios!, I want you two to graduate by the end of the year. And that means you're going to have to turn those grades around.” Sue says

“I’m already working on that. Mr. Schuester eventually realised that our lip syncing was cry for help and wanted to step up and take action. He and Miss Pilsbury are spending one afternoon a week tutoring us.” Brittany says

“I got an A-minus on my US history exam.” Quinn says

“And I got a B-plus. Which the teacher bumped up two whole letter grades because I wrote it in English and not the secret language me and Beth created over the summer to distract from the fact that Rachel and Santana are in New York now.” Brittany says

“Brittany, Quinn welcome back.” Sue says

“All right, let's give a warm welcome to Jake Puckerman.” Mr Shue says

“Well as long as he’s half the ass his brother was we will get along nicely.” Quinn whispers to Jude and Brittany

“Hey dude me and your brother were practically best friends. Is it weird that I know him a lot better than you?” Sam asks Jake then sits down

“Mr. Schuester.” Marley says

“Yeah Marley.” Mr Shue says

If it’s all right I’d like to do one last Britney song.” Marley says

“Did that come out this morning cause we scraped the bottom of that Britney barrel.” Artie says

“Mr Shue I’ve got a killer Queen song that I’ve been saving for such an occasion as this.” Jude says

“Marley first then Jude.” Mr Shue says sitting down

“Notice me,  
Take my hand,  
Why are we,  
Strangers when,  
Our love is strong  
Why carry on,  
Without me?”

“Everytime I try to fly,  
I fall, without my wings,  
I feel so small  
I guess I need you baby,  
And everytime  
I see you in my dreams,  
I see your face  
It's haunting me  
I guess I need you baby”

“I may have made it rain,  
Please forgive me,  
My weakness caused you pain,  
And this song's my sorry”

“Oooh, oh  
At night I pray,  
That soon your face will fade away”

“And everytime I try to fly,  
I fall, without my wings,  
I feel so small  
I guess I need you baby,  
And everytime  
I see you in my dreams,  
I see your face  
You're haunting me  
I guess I need you baby”

“Jude?” Mr Shue asks as the non binary Glee Club member has disappeared

“Two seconds.” Jude says setting Fynn’s old drum machine on the piano and taps out a beat then hooks it up to the stereo system using the remote hidden in Judes left hand and pushes it and a drum beat starts playing. He picks up his guitar and plays the riff “I don't want to sleep with you  
I don't need the passion too  
I don't want a stormy affair  
To make me feel my life is heading somewhere”

“All I want is the comfort and care  
Just to know that my woman gives me sweet mother love”

“I've walked too long in this lonely lane  
I've had enough of this same old game  
I'm a man of the world and they say that I'm strong  
But my heart is heavy and my hope is gone”

“Out in the city, in the cold world outside  
I don't want pity, just a safe place to hide  
Mama, please, let me back inside”

“I don't want to make no waves  
But you can give me all the love that I crave  
I can't take if you see me cry  
I long for peace before I die”

“All I want is to know that you're there  
You're gonna give me all your sweet mother love”

“Mother love”

“My body's aching, but I can't sleep  
My dreams are all the company I keep  
Got such a feeling as the sun goes down  
I'm coming home to my sweet mother love”

“Mother love”

“What was that song about exactly? Obviously it was sung personally because you have a tear in your eye.” Mr Shue says

“It’s about the cyclical cycle of life and death in this context of people changing and leaving. In the end we all have to, we all have spread out wings and fly away.” Jude says wiping the tears out of their eyes

“Well it’s a very beautiful song.” Mr Shue says hugging Jude.


	3. Makeover

“What do you think you're doing Blaine Warbler, Jude?” Brittany asks

“We’re running for senior class president.” Jude and Blaine say

“Glee this week’s assignment is 80’s music an era of Queen Elton John and AC/DC. So pick your favourite 80’s song and perform them for the group.” Mr Shue says

“Mr Shue, can I go right now? I've been itching to try this one out.” Jude says

[Intro]  
“Yeah!  
Are you ready?  
Well, are you ready?”

[Chorus]  
“You gotta tear it up, break it up  
Shake it up, baby  
Tear it up, shake it up  
Make it up as you go along  
Tear it up, square it up  
Shake it up, baby  
Tear it up, stir it up  
Stake it out, and you can't go wrong”

[Verse 1]  
“Give me your mind, baby, give me your body  
Give me some time, baby, let’s have a party  
There is no time for sleepin', baby  
Soon it's round your street I’m creeping  
You better be ready”

[Chorus]  
“Tear it up, break it up  
Shake it up, baby  
Tear it up, stir it up  
Make it up as you go along  
Tear it up, square it up  
Shake it up, baby  
Tear it up, stir it up  
Make it up, yeah, yeah, yeah  
Oh, yeah”

[Outro]  
“Are you ready baby?  
Are you ready for love?  
Oh, yeah  
Oh, are you ready for me?  
Oh, yeah  
I love you so near, I love you so far  
I gotta tell you baby you're driving me ga ga”

“Yes Jude that is exactly what I’m looking for.” Mr Shue says clapping

“Artie I’m running for president again and I want you to be VP.” Brittany says

“Why not Quinn?” Artie asks

“Because Quinn’s Jude’s VP. And being the Vice Presidential pick of McKinley High's first two term president would look really good on your college resume.” Brittany says

“I have 4.0 GPA, and I scored a 210 on my practice SAT, and I was the only physically handicapable member of a national championship glee club. I’m not really worried about getting into college.” Artie says as they wheel down the hall

“I know people like you are afraid of the spotlight sometimes, but as Dick James said to Elton John ‘it’s time to do something bold’ so we put in a great fuckin’ show and be McKinley High’s first two term president.” Brittany says

“I’m gonna say it again, I’m not part robot.” Artie says as they stop

“I realise that I didn’t do much as president last year, what with me, Santana, Quinn and Rachel helping Jude become Jude and Rachel thinking she was pregnant. If you help me win again this year, I promise to do the exact same thing, which means I’ll be president and you can make all the boring decisions.” Brittany says

“I could be Cheney to your Bush.” Artie says

“I don’t know who they are.” Brittany says

“So I’m in.” Artie says

“Cool.” Brittany says shaking his hand

“Okay as you all know as national champions we get to host the annual Show Choir Rules Committee meeting.” Mr Shue says

“Please tell me you're gonna ask what ⅓ vintage meant last year?” Tina asks

“Or like why some teams get to sing six songs and others only do one?” Sam asks

“Speaking of competitions, shouldn’t we, like, start preparing for ours?” Jake asks

“This week’s assignment is to find songs we want to try out at sectionals but I do have some ideas.” Mr Shue says

“Excuse I’m really sure of what you were saying was actually important ‘cause I wasn’t listening but I’d like to make an announcement. I am wrapping up the election by selecting Artie as my running mate. I think by bridging the human slash robot divide, we’ll ensure that both students and vending macchines vote for us.” Brittany says

“Still not a robot.” Artie says

“Hey why didn’t you ask me to be your running mate? I’m like the perfect candidate.” Sam says

“Because I think you should be Blaines running mate.” Brittany says

“Okay.” Sam says

“Blaine Warbler? Meet your new VP Sam Evans.” Brittany says

“Okay.” Blaine says

“Next Artie and I challenge you and Sam to a debate.” Brittany says

“You’re on.” Blaine says

“Brittany I just got a copy of Jacob Ben Israel’s lastest presidential poll. The good news it 90% of respondents said they’re planning on attending Fridays debate.” Artie says

“That’s cool. So what’s the bad news?” Brittany asks

“The bad news is 45% said they were coming to hear Jude say something controversial. And 45% said where coming to hear you say something …” Artie says afraid to say the last word

“They think I’m gonna day something stupid.” Brittany says rubbing her eye

“But see you’re not stupid. You’re really creative. Your brain exists in this other magical dimension where anything is possible. It’s really amazing. We just need to focus on a little preparation.” Artie says 

In an empty classroom

“Brittany S. Pierce, how do you react to the characterisation of your first term in office as one in which you didn’t do anything until prom?” Artie asks

“I would describe that as entirely accurate.” Brittany answers

“Okay.” Artie says. “What is your favourite colour?” Artie then asks

“Filipino. They’re very hard workers, and family is very important to them.” Brittany says

“You know what? Let’s talk wardrobe.” Artie says a tune filters down the hall

[Brittany:]  
“Oh make me over  
I'm all I wanna be  
A walking study  
In Demonology”

“Hey, so glad you could make it  
Yeah, now you've really made it  
Hey, so glad you can make it now”

[Sam:]  
“Oh look at my face  
My name is might have been”

[Sam and Brittany and Jude:]  
“My name is never was”

[Sam:]  
“My name's forgotten”

[Brittany, Jude and Sam:]  
“Hey, so glad you could make it  
Yeah, now you've really made it  
Hey, there's only us left now”

[Brittany (With Sam):]  
“When I wake up (in my makeup)  
Have you ever felt (so used up as this?)”

[Sam (With Brittany):]  
“It's all so sugarless  
(Hooker, waitress)  
Model, actress  
(Oh just go nameless)”

[Brittany:]  
“Honeysuckle  
She's full of poison  
She obliterated everything she kissed”

[Sam:]  
“Now she's fading somewhere in Hollywood  
I'm glad I came here with your pound of flesh”

[Sam and Brittany and Jude:]  
“You want a part of me  
Well I'm not selling cheap  
No, I'm not selling cheap”

“Jude lose the trench coat.” Quinn says

“Why? My dad won his senior class president election in this coat. That rip there is where his opponent attacked him with a switchblade in the parking lot when he was leaving school.” Jude says

“Stumbles my first question is for you.” Sue says. “Who in god's name gives a hot, wet, steamy dump about student government?” Sue asks

“I do. And I think everyone in this room should too. First of all student government isn’t just a way for us to pad our college résumés. It’s a way for us to take an active role in our education. Study after study shows that an active student body is a successful student body.” Artie answers

“Okay moving on.” Sue says before Artie interrupts her

“Student government is just the beginning. We need more after school programs, and a better qualified staff to support our teachers who are underpaid and overworked. And that’s just the beginning. I want to talk about the cafeteria cause I believe … at the beginning of every year to see if … enough to support our brain activity … that is one of the many goals I promise to reach by the midway point of my first term as outlined in my 96 point plan.” Artie finally finishes

“Merciful sweet Jesus thank you.” Sue says. “Sam Evans Quinn Fabray your responses?” Sue then asks

“I wasn’t really listening.” Sam says

Then Quinn gives a half snore. “The monkeys are in the walls! Sorry what was the question? I fell asleep.” Quinn says

“But i totally agree with him.” Sam says

“Me too.” Quinn says

“Our next question is from Twitter. @HungrySouthMouth asks Sam Evans, rumour has you where a stripper. Aren’t you ashamed?” Sue asks

“No I’m not. In fact …” Sam answers and then starts stripping

“Students at this school have every right to be angry. Last year the student council led by one of my opponents, was the most ineffectual in a generation. Brittany S. Pierce, in her last term, accomplished absolutely nothing, except planning a dinosaur-themed prom and banning the use of hair gel. Ladies and gentlemen, telling anyone what they can and cannot put into their hair is disgusting. It’s the first step towards tyranny my friends. Next thing you know they’ll start burning books. And then they’ll start burning people too.” Blaine says

“In Brittanys defence she did spend the year helping me through my gender issues and freaking out at the possibility she was going to be a mother again.” Jude says to countering Blaines point

“Sweet simple Brittany. What say you?” Sue asks

“Uh… I love you. I love you so much McKinley High School. Simple as that. In fact … I think that everyone should love this school as much as I do. If you elect me as president. I promise to outlaw summer vacation, so we’ll have school all year round. That means we’ll spend every day of every summer indoors with our friends, in McKinley High Schools award winning air conditioning. Also I promise to end McKinley High’s policy on weekends. If you make me your president, Saturday and Sunday will be illegal, so that Monday will come right after Friday, which is the funnest day anyways. Vote Brittany and Artie. Thank you so much.” Brittany says

“Jude Constantine Sargaent what say you?” Sue asks

“If you elect I make a promise to alongside senior ditch day a weekend long lock in here at McKinley High. Thank you vote Quinn and Jude.” Jude says

“Your student class president is … Blaine Anderson and Sam Evans.” Sue says over the PA


	4. The Roles You Were Born to Play

Finn fits a new tire on to the car as Jude pushes Artie in. “Why do I always feel so at home in a tire shop? That was a joke.” Artie says

“What do you want Artie Jude?” Finn asks as he put the tire on the car. “I’ve got a lot of work to do.” He says

“We just wanted to check in on you.” Artie says

“You’ve had a rough couple of months we figured you could use a couple of friends.” Jude says

“It’s not that bad. Just embarrassed myself out of the Army completely and now I’m back working in a tire shop in my hometown. Figure my luck will change soon and one if the lifts will break and I’ll be crushed by a car. I’m sorry Artie, Jude. I appreciate what you're doing you’re a great friend. I’m just sitting back and looking at the next 60 years of my life. It just sort of makes me want to puke. But it is what it is.” Finn says

“Do you remember what I said when we dedicated that song to you last year. That you were my friend, my hero.” Artie says

“We’re not gonna let you bury yourself in self-pity Finn.” Jude says

“Come co-direct the musical with us. Grease was your idea. And Jude still hasn’t finished his Black Parade opera so.” Artie says

“Sorry my hormone therapy makes me really forgetful.” Jude says 

“I don’t know how to direct a musical.” Finn says

“Directing is about having a vision and making everyone around you make happen.” Artie says

“I don’t think so.” Finn says

“Fine then we quit the musical too.” Jude says

“You two can’t do that hold the musical hostage. That’s like show choir terrisom” Finn says

“Basically we have Olivia Newton John and John Travolta strapped to our chest and if you don’t codirect with us we’re gonna blow them up.” Artie says

“We’re serious Finn. Trust as your friends you need to do this just so you can look at the first month of the next 60 years of your life and not wanna puke. Auditions are tomorrow.” Jude says wheeling Artie out and Finn spins the tire iron in his hand

“Guess mine is not the first heart broken  
My eyes are not the first to cry  
I'm not the first to know there's  
Just no getting over you”

“I know I'm just a fool who's willing  
To sit around and wait for you  
But baby can't you see there's nothing else for me to do  
I'm hopelessly devoted to you”

“But now there's nowhere to hide  
Since you pushed my love aside  
I'm outta my head hopelessly devoted to you  
Hopelessly devoted to you  
Hopelessly devoted to you”

“My head is saying fool forget him  
My heart is saying don't let go  
Hold on to the end that's what I intend to do  
I'm hopelessly devoted to you”

“But now there's nowhere to hide  
Since you pushed my love aside  
I'm outta my head hopelessly devoted to you  
Hopelessly devoted to you  
Hopelessly devoted to you”

“Say something.” Artie says

“Like what.” Finn says

“Anything.” Jude says

“I think I speak for all three of us when I say all though you auditioned with a Sandy song you are the Danny Zuko of our dreams.” Artie says

“Yeah yeah totally.” Finn says

“You were awesome Blaine.” Jude says

“I can't, I'm sorry Finn, Jude, Artie I can’t I just can’t. I didn’t wanna let you three down, but Grease is a romance, and how can I play any of the scenes if I have ruined mine? I don’t think I would be able to play the truth of Danny Zuko. Thank you for letting me audition but I can’t.” Blaine says

“Wait. Is there any part you could play?” Artie asks

“What about Teen Angel?” Jude suggests. “It’s only one scene.”

“Maybe I don’t know.” Blaine says before walking off stage

“I’ve never seen Blaine so masterpiece theatre.” Artie says

“Look I know you two where just trying to help, but this is a bad idea.” Finn says standing up

“Finn hold up.” Artie says

“What was a bad idea?” Jude asks

“Me directing. I’m not qualified for any of this.” Finn says

“Trust your instincts. It’s like song writing. It doesn't come naturally; we have to let our instincts guide us to what we want to write.” Jude says

“But also part of being a good director is surrounding yourself with the right people. The right choreographer, the right vocal coach, the right musician and the right mechanic.” Artie says

“Well Judes a great musician.” Finn says 

“I’m a better mechanic. Long and skinny arms with long fingers make it easier for me to get the little bits in the bits of the engine and the rest do the car.” Jude says. “So Artie and I called in a couple of favours and the cavalry has just arrived.” Jude continues pointing to Fynn, Mike and Mercedes walking down the halls they all hug and say a quick hello. “Finn, I found a car for us to fix up for the musical.” Jude whispers to him

“We have plenty of girls auditioning for Sandy but we’re gonna have a serious Danny Zuko problem if Blaine can’t do it.” Mercedes says

“What are the other options?” Mike asks

“Jake. Because Joe Hart won’t cut his dreads Sams got his heart set in Kenickie. And I’m not gonna do it cause I’m in the directing team and I’m non binary so playing the Male lead just goes against everything I’ve strived for over the last year and half.” Jude says

“Jake’s not interested.” Finn says

“How do you know that?” Jude asks

“I asked him.” Finn says

“This is a serious problem if we can’t find a male lead then the plays fucked.” Jude says

“Well there aren’t a lot of dudes like you and Blaine.” Mercedes says

“That’s why Mr Shue went looking for you.” Mike says

Jude and Finn walked out onto the football field. “Hey Coach.” Finn says

“Hey Finn hey Jude.” Coach Beiste says

“Good looking bunch of recruits this year.” Finn says

“Idiots on patrol. But I’ll knock into shape. Heck I coached you to a state championship. I’m kidding. You’re one of a kind.” Coach Beiste says

“I just wished he still believed that.” Jude says

“Thanks you two. But we are here for a lead in the school musical.” Finn says

“You got any guys like Finn out there today?” Jude asks. “What’s his story?” Jude then asks looking at the kid dancing in the end zone.

“Ryder Lynn sophomore. I think he flunked out of his old school so they transferred him here.” Coach Beiste says answering Judes question

“Moves good though.” Finn says

“You wanna know the thing that made you special? It wasn’t the way you threw the ball or the singing and the dancing or the way you helped people. It’s that you could move people.” Coach Beiste says

“Figure that Ryder kids got anything like that in him?” Finn asks

“Maybe if he had the right person showing him the way.” Beiste says

[Unique:]  
“White knuckles   
And sweaty palms from hanging on too tight”

[Marley:]  
“Clenched shut jaw  
I've got another headache again tonight”

[Unique with Marley:]  
“Eyes on fire, eyes on fire,   
And the burn from all the tears  
I've been crying, I've been crying,   
I've been dying over you  
Tie a knot in the rope,   
Trying to hold, trying to hold  
But there's nothing to grab so I let go”

[Marley and Unique:]  
“I think I finally had enough  
I think I maybe think too much  
I think this might be it for us   
Blow me one last kiss  
You think I'm just too serious  
I think you're full of it  
My head is spinning so   
Blow me one last kiss  
Just when it can't get worse,   
I've had a bad day  
You've had a bad day  
We've had a bad day  
I think that life's too short for this  
Want back my ignorance and bliss  
I think I've had enough of this   
Blow me one last kiss”

[Unique with Marley:]  
“I won't miss   
All of the fighting that we always did,  
Take it in  
I mean what I say when I say there is nothing left”

[Marley with Unique:]  
“No more sick whiskey-wish,   
No more battles for me  
You'll be calling a trick,   
Cause you'll no longer sleep  
I'll dress nice, I'll look good,   
I'll go dancing alone  
I will laugh, I'll get drunk,   
I'll take somebody home”

[Marley:]  
“I think I finally had enough”

[Marley with Unique:]  
“I think I maybe think too much  
I think this might be it for us   
Blow me one last kiss  
You think I'm just too serious  
I think you're full of it  
My head is spinning so   
Blow me one last kiss”

[Marley and Unique:]  
“Just when it can't get worse,   
I've had a bad day  
You've had a bad day  
We've had a bad day”

[Marley with Unique:]  
“I think that life's too short for this  
Want back my ignorance and bliss  
I think I've had enough of this  
Blow me one last kiss”

[Marley:]  
“Na na na na ([Unique:] Oh) da da da da”

[Unique:]  
“Blow me one last kiss”

[Marley:]  
“Na na na na ([Unique:] Woaah!) da da da da”

[Unique:]  
“Blow me one last kiss”

[Marley with Unique:]  
“I will do what I please,   
Anything that I want  
I will breathe, I will breathe  
I won't worry at all”

[Unique with Marley:]  
“You will pay for your sins,   
You'll be sorry my dear  
All the lies, all the lies,”

[Unique:]  
“Will be crystal clear ([Marley:] Oh!)”

[Marley:]  
“I think I finally had enough”

[Unique:]  
“I think I maybe think too much”

[Marley:]  
“I think this might be it for us”

[Marley and Unique:]  
“Blow me one last kiss”

[Marley:]  
“You think I'm just too serious”

[Unique:]  
“I think you're full of it”

[Marley:]  
“My head is spinning so”

[Marley and Unique:]  
“Blow me one last kiss”

[Unique:]  
“Just when it can't get worse ([Marley:] Oh)  
I've had a bad day ([Marley:] Yeah)  
You've had a bad day ([Marley:] Oh)  
We've had a bad day”

[Marley and Unique:]  
“I think that life's too short for this”

[Unique:]  
“Want back my ignorance and bliss”

[Marley:]  
“I think I've had enough of this”

[Marley and Unique:]  
“Blow me one last kiss”

[Unique:]  
“Na na na na da da da da”

[Marley:]  
“Na na na na da da da da ([Unique:] Oh)   
Na na na na da da da da”

[Marley and Unique:]  
“Blow me one last kiss”

[Marley:]  
“Na na na na da da da da ([Unique:] Oh)   
Na na na na da da da da ([Unique:] Oh)   
Na na na na da da da da”

[Marley and Unique:]  
“Blow me one last kiss”

[Unique:]  
“Just when it can't get worse,”

[Marley and Unique:]  
“I've had a bad day  
You've had a bad day  
We've had a bad day  
I think that life's too short for this  
Want back my ignorance and bliss  
I think I've had enough of this   
Blow me one last kiss”

“That has more energy than the last three auditions combined.” Mercedes says

“Ladies do you have any preference for parts you want in the play?” Artie asks

“Sandy definitely Sandy.” Marley says

“Unique?” Jude asks quirking an eyebrow

“I would like to play the role of Rizzo.” Unique says

“Hey Mr. Clippenger. Uh, you got a phone call in the teachers lounge.” Finn says

“Why didn’t they call my cell?” He asks before walking out

“Hey what are you doing?” Finn asks

“Uh studying.” Ryder says taking the pen you to his mouth

“In the study hall? I think you're the first.” Finn says chuckling

“Uh I’ve got to work twice as hard as everyone else to do half as well. I've been pulling a C-minus average since I got here, and I don’t get up to a B, my parents are gonna make me quit football so… whatever it takes you know?” Ryder says

“Oh I do. I spent my freshman year drunk, my sophomore year sobering up, junior year in and out of therapists trying to see why I was hating myself turns out that I was non binary and I’m now spending senior year just like you working three times as hard to do just as well as my friends. But that’s my hormone therapy for you.” Jude says. “But do you know what really helps me get ahead?” Judes then asks

“What?” Ryder asks

“Music. Glee Club the music and the choreography just helps me stay focused in class.” Jude says. “As Christopher Eccleston would say ‘Fantastic’ music keeps me grounded. And the choreography helps me to keep time with the teachers.” Jude says 

“Auditions for the musical are tomorrow.” Finn says as they stand up and leave.

“A director's job is to make good choices.” Artie says

“That’s what Fynn mum said.” Jude jokes

“You have to pick one.” Artie continues

“I don’t know anything about jukeboxes.” Finn says

“Well that is a Zodiac jukebox, this is a Wurlitzer Bubbler.” Artie says

“Probably a knock off because classics go for upwards of about 40 grand.” Jude says

“Exactly. And that one is a Seeburg you may recognise it from the opening credits of Happy Days.” Artie says

“Oh! Happy Days is a show from the 50’s, so we should go with this one.” Finn says

“Wrong I say we go with Zodiac although we’ll have to change the records as it’s full of ‘80’s rock.” Jude says then Artie wheels over leaving Jude and Finn with jukeboxes and then Ryder walks in

“Hey.” Ryder says

“Hey Ryder auditions aren’t till 4:00 but…” Jude says

“I just want to make sure I don’t miss out on an opportunity to be great at something.” Ryder says

“Great, you want to audition, then.” Finn says

“As long as I don’t have to sing.” Ryder says

“You know I used to be just like you. I didn’t think I could do it either but then I just did it. No thinking. I just started singing and it felt amazing. Like a really good poop.” Finn says Ryder and Jude chuckle “bet your classic rock guy right?” Finn says putting on Foreigners Jukebox Hero

“Just follow our lead.” Jude says picking up their guitar.

[Finn and Jude:]  
“Standing in the rain  
with his head hung low  
Couldn't get a ticket  
it was a sold out show.  
Heard the roar of the crowd  
he could picture the scene.  
Put his ear to the wall  
then like a distant scream.  
He heard one guitar  
just blew him away  
Saw stars in his eyes  
and the very next day.”

[Ryder:]  
“Bought a beat up six string in a secondhand store  
Didn't know how to play it  
but he knew for sure  
That one guitar  
felt good in his hands.  
Didn't take long to understand.  
Just one guitar  
slung way down low  
Was a one-way ticket  
only one-way to go.  
So he started rockin' ain't never gonna stop”

[Finn and Ryder:]  
“Gotta keep on rockin'”

[Ryder:]  
“Someday he's gonna make it to the top.”

[Finn and Ryder:]  
“And be a Juke Box Hero got stars in his eyes”

[Ryder:]  
“He's a Juke Box Hero.  
Yeah”

[Finn:]  
“He took one guitar”

[Finn and Ryder:]  
“Juke Box Hero got stars in his eyes  
Juke Box Hero he'll come alive tonight.”

[Ryder:]  
“In a town without a name  
in a heavy downpour  
Thought he passed his own shadow  
by the backstage door.”

[Finn:]  
“Like a trip through the past  
to that day in the rain  
And that one guitar made his whole life change.  
Now he needs to keep”

[Finn and Ryder:]  
“rockin' he just can't stop  
Gotta keep on rockin'”

[Finn:]  
“that boy has got to stay on top.”

[Finn and Ryder:]  
“And be a Juke Box Hero got stars in his eyes  
He's a Juke Box Hero  
Yeah  
Juke Box Hero ([Finn:] Oh)  
With that one guitar he'll come alive  
Come alive tonight.  
([Finn:] Yeah) He's gotta keep on rockin'”

[Finn:]  
“He just can't stop”

[Ryder:]  
“He just can't stop”

[Finn and Ryder:]  
“Gotta keep on rockin'”

[Finn:]  
“That boy has got to stay on top”

[Finn and Ryder:]  
“He's got a real Juke Box Hero got stars in his eyes.  
He's a Juke Box Hero ([Finn:] Yeah)  
([Ryder:] Just one guitar) Juke Box Hero with stars in his eyes”

“Yeah, he's a Juke Box Hero  
Juke Box Hero  
Juke Box Hero he's got stars in his eyes  
Stars in his eyes”

“Man that was awesome.” Ryder says high fiving the two. “So what do you think? Should I audition?” Ryder asks

“Dude you just did.” Jude says as the two walk away

[Jake:]  
“Ah”

[Jake and Kitty:]  
“Aaah”

[Jake:]  
“Hey baby won't you look my way  
I could be your new addiction”

[Kitty:]  
“Hey baby what you gotta say?  
All you're giving me is fiction”

[Jake:]  
“I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time”

[Jake and Kitty:]  
“I found out that everybody talks  
Everybody talks, everybody talks”

[Jake:]  
“It started with a whisper  
And that was when I kissed her  
And then she made my lips hurt”

[Kitty with Jake:]  
“I can hear the chit chat  
Take me to your love shack  
Mama's always gotta back track  
When everybody talks back”

[Jake:]  
“Hey honey you could be my drug  
You could be my new prescription”

[Kitty:]  
“Too much could be an overdose  
All this trash talk make me itchin'”

[Jake and Kitty:]  
“Oh my my dear  
Everybody talks, everybody talks  
Everybody talks”

[Jake:]  
“Too much  
It started with a whisper  
And that was when I kissed her  
And then she made my lips hurt”

[Kitty with Jake:]  
“I can hear the chit chat  
Take me to your love shack  
Mama's always gotta back track  
When everybody talks back”

[Jake with Kitty:]  
“Never thought I'd live  
To see the day”

[Kitty with Jake:]  
“When everybody's words got in the way, Oh!”

[Jake:]  
“Yeah, yeah”

[Kitty:]  
“Oh, woah”

[Kitty and Jake:]  
“Oooh”

[Jake:]  
“Hey sugar show me all your love  
All you're giving me is friction”

[Kitty:]  
“Hey sugar what you gotta say?”

[Jake:]  
“It started with a whisper  
And that was when I kissed her  
And then she made my lips hurt”

[Kitty with Jake:]  
“I can hear the chit chat  
Take me to your love shack  
Mama's always gotta back track  
When everybody talks back”

[Jake and Kitty:]  
“Everybody talks  
Everybody talks  
Everybody talks  
Everybody talks  
Everybody talks  
Everybody talks... back”

[Jake (Kitty):]  
“It started with a whisper (Everybody talks, everybody talks)  
And that was when I kissed her (Everybody talks, everybody talks)”

[Jake and Kitty:]  
“Everybody talks  
Everybody talks... back  
Uh!”

“That was great guys.” Mercedes says

“Okay we need to start doing call backs.” Jude says

“I don’t know I feel like Kitty’s has the inside track for Sandy. Sandy can’t be a brunette.” Artie says

“Says who?” Fynn asks

“Oh like Maria couldn’t be black?” Mercedes asks

“Mercedes it was a year ago and I was willing to take that part to feel a little feminine.” Jude says

“Okay so we call back all the Sandy’s and the Danny’s. What about the rest?” Finn asks

“Brittany for Cha-Cha, she's the best dancer.” Mike says

“You know Tina would make a great Jan. It’s too bad she won’t audition because she refuses to be in the same room as Mike.” Mercedes says

“Okay what about Rizzo?” Finn asks

“It’s controversial but I like Unique for it. It puts a unique spin on things.” Jude says

“I agree with Jude.” Finn says

“So we cast a brunette as Sandy and a guy as Rizzo. Who’s directing this, Julie Taymor?” Artie asks

“Think about how cool it would be to do something really different.” Jude says

“I agree with Jude.” Finn says putting Unique’s name under Rizzo

“Finn Hudson Jude Constantine Sargeant in Principal Figgins office now.” Sue says. “Now fatty, weirdo!”

“The trifecta of idiots seated before you are poised to cast the she-male-fabulous Unique Adams as Rizzo in Grease; the already overly sexualised minstrel show featuring teen pregnancy and the ridiculously unnecessary lubrication of lightning. If they succeed they will set a legal precedent that will clear the way for Unique to become a Cheerio in the year I’m set to notch my 1,000th tournament victory and become the winningest coach in cheerleading history.” Sue says

“When did Unique say he wanted to be a Cheerio!?” Mr Shue asks

“Also confused.” Jude says

“Sue I don’t understand. Unique Adams is nothing more than an attractive buxom young woman who’s got it going in all the right places. She’s a brick house Sue!” Principal Figgins says

“Principal Figgins Sues right about that. Unique is definitely a guy.” Mr Shue says

“What?” Figgins says

“I don’t see what the big deal is. If Unique identifies as a girl and dresses as a girl she should be allowed to play one on stage.” Jude argues. “Cross-gendered casting is as old as theatre itself. In Shakespeare’s time all the female roles were played by men.” Jude continues

“There’s no way that’s true.” Sue says

“In the last few years. McKinley has become the kind of place where all kinds of outcasts can feel free to follow their dreams.” Finn says

“Brittany, Santana, me and most recently Unique. And I don’t think that should change because Coach Sylvester is a bigot.” Jude says

“You know is think twice about calling someone a bigot who’s had gay Cheerios both male and female on her squad, and who resigned her principal post in protest because this school was doing enough to protect gay students from being bullied!” Sue yells

“You know it’s funny I remember fondly an incident involving a gay Cheerio getting kicked in the chest by a couple of jocks while her girlfriend was pregnant where were you then Sue huh?” Jude ask sitting back crossing their legs

“Judes right Sue you defended Kurt but Karofsky beats up Brittany while Quinn is powerless to do anything and you do nothing.” Mr Shue e

“If you choose to cast Rizzo with a naive gender confused boy in a dress I guarantee someone is going to raise a very public stank about it, and I don’t think it’s fair. Don’t put this kid in danger because you want to make some grand gesture about how open minded you are.” Sue says. “Will I spent the last year stifling my hatred for and helping you win a glee club national championship. Now is your moment to pay me back by putting a stop to this so I don’t have to.”

“It’s not my call Sue.” Mr Shue says

“It’s mine.” Jude says standing up

“And I trust Finn Artie and Jude implicitly.” Mr Shue says

“My future looks pretty bright so we’re casting Unique as Rizzo.” Finn says standing up

“All right! You guys killed it in your auditions, but…” Mercedes says

“There can be only one!” Jude says in their best Master Chen voice. “I am having way too much fun. As Mercedes was saying there can be only one Sandy and one Danny. The heart of Grease is the Danny-Sandy romance. This callback is all about chemistry. We want to see how well you play off each other. Is there heat?” Jude says playing around a bit

“We also want to see how you can dance and sing ‘50s-style. That's why we gave you the audition song in advance.” Finn says

“I don’t really read music so…” Ryder says

“That’s okay. Mercedes Mike and I will get you started. Hit it.” Jude says

[Mercedes:]  
“Before I was born late one night  
My papa said everything's alright  
The doctor paid, my Mama laid down  
With her stomach bouncing all around  
'Cause the beebop stork was about to arrive  
Mama gave birth to a hand-jive”

[Mercedes and Marley:]  
“I could barely walk when I milked a cow  
When I was three I pushed a plow”

[Jake:]  
“While chopping wood I moved my legs  
And they saw me dance when I gathered eggs”

[Marley and Ryder:]  
“The townfolk clapped, I was only five  
Out-dance 'em all, he was born to hand-jive!”

[Mercedes:]  
“Oh yeah, yeah, yeah - everybody”

[Mercedes with New Directions, Mike and Kitty:]  
“Born to hand-jive, baby  
Born to hand-jive, baby”

[Mercedes:]  
“How low can you go?”

[Marley:]  
“How low can you go?”

[Ryder:]  
“How low can you go?”

[Jake:]  
“How low can you go?  
Higher!”

[Ryder:]  
“Higher!”

[Marley:]  
“Higher!”

[Mercedes:]  
“And higher, yeah!”

[Ryder with New Directions:]  
“Now can you hand jive, baby?”

[Ryder, Marley and Mercedes with New Directions, Mike and Kitty:]  
“Oh can you hand jive, baby? ([Mercedes:] Baby, yeah!)”

[Ryder with New Directions, Mike and Kitty:]  
“Oh yeah can you hand jive, baby? ([Mercedes:] Can you hand jive?)  
Oh can you hand jive baby? ([Mercedes:] Baby!)  
Oh yeah ([Mercedes:] Oh yeah)  
Oh yeah ([Mercedes:] Oh yeah, yeah)  
Oh yeah ([Mercedes:] Oh yeah)”

[Ryder and Mercedes with New Directions, Mike and Kitty:]  
“Born to hand jive, oh yeah!  
Lalalal  
Lalala  
Lalala”

“Hey we came to talk to you about the play.” Finn says

“I get it. I heard about Coach Sylvester's meltdown.” Unique says setting his pen down

“We want to offer you the part.” Jude says

“What about Coach Sue?” Unique asks

“Well Coach Sue isn’t directing the play we are. So now all you have to worry about is getting a curly wig learning the words to ‘There Are Worse Things I Could Do’. And we’ll take care of Coach Sue or anyone else who might try and stop us.”  
Jude says

“Unique knows the song and has the wig.” Unique says smiling

“Good. You okay?” Finn asks

“I don’t feel right in the men’s locker room. But I can’t go into the girls’. I don’t feel right in men’s clothing, but I can’t wear a dress everyday. It sucks to never know your place. It’s nice, just for once, it feel like I’ve found one.” Unique says crying

“It’s tough I remember when I first started out as Jude I didn’t show up to gym for months until Santana and Brittany and Quinn and Rachel literally dragged me to the girls gym class and five of us played volleyball and it was the first time I truly felt happy to have friends that accept me for who I was and without them I would still be struggling as Josh rather than proud of who I am as Jude. So tell you what I’ll be your friend and I’ll show you where Brittany and I get changed for gym class cause I don’t fit in either locker room and she’s intersex so she doesn’t like getting changed in the girls locker room either and you can come play volleyball with me and Brittany and Quinn and be happy. Now we can shield you from some of it but we need to know you're ready.” Jude says

“Dreams aren’t free.” Unique says

The cast list

Brittany S. Pierce as ‘Cha-Cha’

Tina Cohen-Chang as ‘Jan’

Sam Evans as ‘Kenickie’

Sugar Motta as ‘Frenchy’

Joe Hart as ‘Doody’

Wade ‘Unique’ Adams as ‘Rizzo’

Blaine Anderson as ‘Teen Angel’

Jake Puckerman as ‘Putzie’

Ryder Lynn as ‘Danny Zuko’

Marley Rose as ‘Sandy Olsson’

Kitty Wilde as ‘Patty Simcox’

“Patty Simcox? Who the hell is Patty Simcox?” Kitty asks as she reads the cats list. “I don’t understand I prayed really hard for this.” Kitty says getting cross

“Maybe God didn’t hear you because he was busy helping people with cancer.” Joe says

“Shut it Avatar.” Kitty says then she turns on Jake. “This is all your fault. You screwed up ‘Hand-Jive’ on purpose.”

“No I didn’t. We were both great. It just didn’t work out.” Jake says

“I’ve been hearing a lot of that from you lately.” Kitty says

“Kitty it didn’t work just be glad we gave you a part at all and we didn’t give it to Quinn.” Jude says

“Shut up Freaky Friday!” Kitty yells in Jude’s face Jude pulls their arm back for a punch but Brittany puts a hand in Judes elbow and Jude puts their fist down. “Oh. One thing Honey Boo Boo. I know a good hot meal is hard to resist, especially on the free lunch program, but remember the stage always adds at least ten pound. In your case closer to 90. So when you and your mom Strawberry Hugecake, are dumpster diving for your costume, keep on picking till you find something slimming. Like a black hefty bag.” Kitty says before storming away Sue looks at the cast lists and sees Unique as Rizzo. Sue gives Finn and Jude a death stare.

“How are you guys doing?” Mr Shue asks

“We’ll give you two the room.” Jude says pushing Artie out

“It’s pretty good. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to make a car fly onstage in the auditorium.” Finn says

“Well talk to your prop master that’s what Jude’s there for.” Mr Shue says

“I will. You know it’s nice to help people make their dreams come true.” Finn says

“It’s called being a teacher. I’m really gonna miss it.” Mr Shue says

“Wait what do you mean?” Finn asks

“I’m leaving. Not for good, but for a few months. I’m going to Washington to fight to keep the arts alive in schools. I figure is I don’t take a stand now, there won’t be auditoriums for Jude to fly cars into with their prop master skills.” Mr Shue says

“Mr Shue you can’t just leave the glee club like that, with no one in charge. They need you.” Finn says 

Mr Shue sighs. “No they need a leader. Someone with a vision who believes in them. Someone who understands how to win, but also understands that winning is not more important than doing the right thing, or taking care of each other. Someone who’s really good at making kids' dreams come true. I spoke to Principal Figgins about it, and since Glee Club isn’t an actual class, we don’t need a certified teacher to run it. We just need an adult.” Mr Shue says

“Mr Shue I’m not an adult.” Finn syas

“First of all, I think maybe it’s time you started calling me Will. And second I saw how you stood up for Jude about their idea to cast Unique as Rizzo. How you went out with Jude to find Ryder. You’re ready. And if you’re willing I can promise you that there’s no greater joy in the world than helping a young boy like you turn into a man. It’s three months. Will you do it? Will you take over Glee Club?” Mr Shue asks


	5. Glease

“All right guys listen up. I have an announcement to make.” Mr Shue says

“Adele is dead.” Brittany says

“No. I have been asked to join a blue ribbon panel to rewrite the arts curriculum nationwide. Thank you. I’ll be taking a short sabbatical, which means I’m leaving McKinley at the end of the week.” Mr Shue says

“What? This is crazy.” Tina says

“But glee club is your life.” Artie syas

“Which is why this is only temporary. I’ll be back right after sectionals.” Mr Shue says

“Wait after sectionals?!” Tina and Jude yell

“Guys calm down. Look I knew I need to find a replacement, which is what I brought in Finn Hudson.” Mr Shue says

“Mr Shue Finn cannot take over Glee Club. He doesn’t know what he’s doing at all. Sorry Finn.” Tina says

“Guys I know I can do this. And I’ve got some really great ideas for sectionals.” Finn says

“We'll all be dead by then!” Tina yells then the whole Glee Club is in uproar

“Finn Hudson Schuester. Figgins office now.” Sue says

“I don’t even understand how you found out.” Will says

“Oh William I’ve that choir room bugged. That plaque with the dead fat lady on it, her eyes are cameras.” Sue says

“Okay Sue this is none of your business and besides I’ve already cleared it with Figgins so I don’t see what the problem is.” Will says

“Well of course you don’t because this just another one of your ill conceived, bizarrely sentimental schemes that displays absolutely no forethought and appears immediately ridiculous to everyone in America except you. Finn Hudson barely graduated high school less than seizing months ago, he has no bachelors degree nor the certification to teach in the state of Ohio.” Sue says

“Sue Glee Club is not a class. It’s an extracurricular activity.” Figgins says

“Which is why it is perfectly legal for Finn to volunteer his talents temporarily.” Will says

“I promise this is the right thing to do. I can take his Glee Club to sectionals, and I know we can win. I’ll work just as hard as Mr. Shue and do it all for free.” Finn says

“Let me just remind everyone of something. For the past year I have show the Glee Club mercy, and this school has enjoyed and unprecedented era of peace, but if Bloaty the Gravy Clown is allowed to take over the Glee Club, we détente with the arts at this school will be over.” Sue says before smashing stuff in the corridor

“You’re a menace to the state of Ohio.” Figgins says

In the backstage area

“Hey Finn did that car arrive yet?” Jude asks

“Yeah.” Finn says

“Look, I wanted you to look at this. I got the shake shack working.” Jude says plugging in the complex piece of machinery in it rocks back and forth. “The question is how fast do you want it to shimmy and shake?” Jude asks

“Not too fast we don’t wanna kill Marley and Ryder.” Finn says

“All right.” Jude says picking up the laptop. “Setting it to twenty sways per minute. Now I just gotta build the rest of the fun house.” Jude says putting the welding goggles back on and pulling out his powered screwdriver

“All right swing by the tire shop and we can start working on the car.” Finn says before walking away

“Uh-uh. No way. Nope. You’re not allowed in here. This area is reserved for faculty only. Not for 19 year olds who just got kicked out of the Army and spent several months backpacking across Georgia and then Ohio. It boggles the mind. You must have done everything wrong a person could possibly do in that state, including hillbilly hand fishing and plus-sized male prostitution.” Sue says pulling off her glasses and threatening Finn with a magazine

“Look, I came here to apologise for Judes actions okay. Jude’s headstrong without Fynn here he’s like a rhino on open Savannah Jude sometimes doesn't know when to stop.” Finn says

“I accept your apology.” Sue says

“I have to get to rehearsal.” Finn says

“Oh your gonna find that a little difficult. You see since you took the liberty of redefining what it means to be a teacher at McKinley well I took the liberty of reserving the auditorium for Cheerios practice, so you’re gonna have find some other place to rehearse your idiotic musical.” Sue says

Finn walks out and pulls out his phone. “Jude I need you to tell the T-Birds there’s been a change of rehearsal space we’re now rehearsing at the tire shop.” Finn says into his phone

“Okay I’ll be there at 4:00 I’ll bring the others.” Jude says

“You come at 3:30 and tell the others to come at 4:00.” Finn says before hanging up the phone

Finn slides out from under the side of the car as Jude slides out from underneath the engine compartment “Guys it’s perfect. Finn and I have got to overhaul this jalopy and you guys need to figure out how to become convincing grease monkeys.” Jude says

“We’re going full on method rehearsal.” Mike says pushing Artie in

“I’ve never even changed the oil in my car. I can’t fix this.” Ryder says

“I cannot believe you got this part over me.” Jake says

“Look acting is all about knowing the material, the themes. So what is Grease about?” Finn asks. “Well it’s about fixing cars and getting grease under your fingernails and about signing a blood oath with your brothers to the end.” Finns says before fist bumping with Artie

“Preach brother. That’s totally the theme.” Artie says

“Okay but there's no stage.” Joe says

“Look out there a 100,000 fans screaming your name and look up there spotlights and look right here.” Jude says popping the hood. “And what do you see?” Jude asks

“An old clunker.” Ryder says looking at the engine in the car

“Yeah it’s a old clunker. Look again and tell me what Danny Zuko sees.” Jude says

[Ryder:]  
“Why this car is automatic  
It's systematic  
It's hydromatic  
Why it's grease lightning ([Sam:] Grease lightning)  
We'll get some overhead lifters and some four barrel quads  
oh yeah”

[Sam:]  
“Keep talking whoa keep talking”

[Ryder:]  
“A fuel injection cutoff and chrome plated rods oh yeah”

[Sam:]  
“I'll get the money I'll kill to get the money”

[Ryder:]  
“With a four speed on the floor they'll be waiting at the door  
You know that ain't no crap we'll be getting lots of that  
In Grease Lightning”

[New Direction Boys and Mike:]  
“Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go”

[Ryder:]  
“Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile”

[New Direction Boys and Mike:]  
“Grease lightning go grease lightning”

[Ryder:]  
“Go grease lightning you're coasting through the heat lap trial”

[New Direction Boys and Mike:]  
“Grease lightning go grease lightning”

[Ryder (New Direction Boys and Mike):]  
“You are supreme (Oh oh!) the chicks'll scream (Oh oh!) for grease lightning”

[New Direction Boys and Mike:]  
“Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go”

[Ryder:]  
“We'll get some purple french tail lights and thirty inch fins  
oh yeah  
A Palomino dashboard and duel muffler twins  
oh yeah  
With new pistons, plugs, and shocks I can get off my rocks  
You know that I ain't bragging she's a real honey wagon  
Grease lightning”

[Ryder:]  
“Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile”

[New Direction Boys and Mike:]  
“Grease lightning go grease lightning”

[Ryder:]  
“Go grease lighting you're coasting through the heat lap trial”

[New Direction Boys and Mike:]  
“Grease lightning go grease lightning”

[Ryder (New Direction Boys and Mike):]  
“You are supreme (Oh oh!) the chicks'll scream (Oh oh!) for grease lightning”

[New Direction Boys and Mike:]  
“Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go”

[Ryder:]  
“Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile”

[New Direction Boys and Mike:]  
“Grease lightning go grease lightning”

[Ryder:]  
“Go grease lighting you're coasting through the hit lap trial”

[New Direction Boys and Mike:]  
“Grease lightning go grease lightning”

[Ryder (New Direction Boys and Mike):]  
“You are supreme (Oh oh!) the chicks'll scream (Oh oh!) for grease lightning”

[New Direction Boys and Mike:]  
“Lightning, lightning, lightning  
Lightning, lightning, lightning  
Lightning”

[Ryder:]  
“Yeah!”

“That was awesome now let’s try it again with double the energy.” Jude says

“You wanted to see us?” Finn says as he and Jude walk in

“Finn Hudson, Jude Constantine Sargeant this is Rob and Betty Adams. I took the liberty of calling to congratulate them on their son landing the big role of Rizzo in Grease, and lo and behold it was the first they'd heard of it.” Figgins says

“Ever since Wade was a little boy, we knew he was different.” Betty says

“Most little boys don’t want to dress a Shirley Hemphill for Halloween. I mean it’s just so specific.” Rob says

“When Wade performed as a girl at Nationals we were really proud.” Betty says

“But Chicago is a very liberal city. I mean we live in Ohio and … to be perfectly honest, we’re worried about Wade’s safety.” Rob says

“I think you're overreacting.” Unique says

“Look when I married my husband there was backlash when I came into my own skin as Jude I had even more backlash trust me when I say if I didn’t like Wade could handle it I wouldn’t have given him a part in the musical.” Jude says

“But are we really? Well I’ve personally seen you and Jude here physically assaulted in the hallway. This concerns me.” Sue says

“And yet still we gloss over the time Brittany was assaulted and Puck Finn and I had to jump in while Quinn broke down 6 months pregnant and powerless.” Jude says making an outcry

“Wait is that true?” Finn asks

“We’re pulling Wade out of the play, and we’re asking Wade not to dress like a girl during school hours.” Rob says

“Once he gets home he can be however he wants to be.” Betty says

“Wade Adams you may return to your sewing exam in Home Ec. And Jude you may return to whatever it is you do in your free periods.” Figgins say

“I can’t believe you would do something like this.” Finn says

“You mean protect the welfare of a student so that it just happens to derail the school musical? Sounds very classic Sue Sylvester. If you don’t have a Rizzo you don’t have a show.” Sue says

“Well who says we can’t find another Rizzo?” Finn says

“Me.” Sue says

“Of course I can play Rizzo.” Santana says

“Are you sure?” Artie asks

“We open tomorrow and we just have you a script.” Jude says

“I was born to play this role. I’ve known it by heart since I was three don’t worry.” Santana says

Quinn hugs her. “Someone’s excited to see me.” She says noticing Santana’s excitement

“This one fits. I just looked at the lines for Rizzo, and I think I can be off book by Friday. I may have to hold a script in the second act.” Tina says

“Sorry Tina Finn and I called Santana.” Jude says

“And if you play Rizzo who’s gonna play Jan?” Finn asks

“You have got to be kidding.” Tina says

“You are coming right baby?” Brittany asks Rachel

“Yeah Miss July have me and Kurt her frequent flyer miles so we can come see you guys.” Rachel says

“I got the four of us a reservation at Breadstixs V.I.P. Lounge.” Quinn says

“How did you get that?” Santana asks appearing them

“It involved a lot of time on the phone.” Quinn says

“Wow.” Was all Rachel says

“Oh my god you look so cute.” Brittany says running over to Rachel and pulling her into a bone crushing hug

“Hey Quinn. I’m surprised you're not in play.” Rachel says

“Meh wasn’t feeling it. But look at you Miss I got my first off Broadway audition.” Quinn says

“I know I’m so excited.” Rachel squeals

“Hey ladies.” Santana says

“Hey Rizzo.” Rachel says

“I can’t believe you guys invited us.” Kurt says

“Eh it was nothing. You guys gotta see how well Judes has been working on the props. There was a small fire in the fun house when he left me with the propane blow torch and I blew up the tank. And Jude and I still can’t get that car working the spark plugs keep coming out. But all in all it goes pretty well” Brittany says

“You’re our idiot.” Rachel says smiling as they walk backstage

“So that’s where it caught fire.” Jude says pointing to a specific spot that has been repaired and repainted. “Although in Brittanys defence I should have left her with specialty equipment without the proper training.” Jude continues. “Crap I’m late.” Jude says looking at the watch on their wrist before running towards the door to the orchestra pit

[Blaine:]  
“Your story sad to tell  
A teenage ne'er do well  
Most mixed up non-delinquent on the block  
Your future's so unclear now  
What's left of your career now?  
Can't even get a trade in on your smock”

[New Directions Girls:]  
“La la la la la la la la”

[Blaine:]  
“Beauty school dropout  
No graduation day for you  
Beauty school dropout  
Missed your midterms and flunked shampoo  
Well at least you could have taken time, to wash and clean your clothes up  
After spending all that dough to have the doctor fix your nose up  
Baby get moving ([New Directions Girls:] Baby get moving)  
Why keep your feeble hopes alive?  
What are you proving? ([New Directions Girls:] What are you proving?)  
You've got the dream but not the drive”

[Blaine with New Directions Girls harmonizing:]  
“If you go for your diploma, you could join a steno pool  
Turn in your teasin' comb and go back to high school!”

[New Directions Girls:]  
“La la la la la la la la”

[Blaine:]  
“Beauty school dropout ([New Directions Girls:] Beauty school dropout)  
Hanging around the corner store  
Beauty school dropout ([New Directions Girls:] Beauty school dropout)  
It's about time you knew the score”

[Blaine with New Directions Girls harmonizing:]  
“Well they couldn't teach you anything  
You think you're such a looker  
But no customer would go to you unless she was a hooker!”

[Blaine:]  
“Baby don't sweat it ([New Directions Girls:] Don't sweat it)  
You're not cut out to hold a job  
Better forget it ([New Directions Girls:] Forget it)  
Who wants their hair done by a slob?”

[Blaine with New Directions Girls harmonizing:]  
“Now your bangs are curled, your lashes whirled, but still the world is cruel  
Wipe off that angel face and go back to high school!”

[Blaine:]  
“Baby don't blow it  
Don't put my good advice to shame  
Baby you know it  
Even Dear Abby'd say the same!”

[Blaine with New Directions Girls harmonizing:]  
“Now I've called the shot, get off the pot, I really gotta fly!”

[Blaine:]  
“Gotta be going to that, malt shop, in the sky!  
Beauty school dropout ([New Directions Girls:] Beauty school dropout)  
Go back to high school  
Beauty school dropout ([New Directions Girls:] Beauty school dropout)  
Go back to high school  
Beauty school dropout ([New Directions Girls:] Beauty school dropout)  
Go back to high school”

“Are you nervous about your big number?” Brittany asks smirking

“Oh God no, come on it’s all about the attitude. I’m just gonna do what I did with America last year.” Santana says

“Yeah but this is like a sad song right? So you have to think of something make you like really sad.” Brittany says

“Well then I’ll just think about Beths face when she saw Rach and me on skype last week.” Santana says bopping her on the nose

“5 minutes to curtain up Santana.” Jude says

“There are worse things I could do  
Than go with a boy or two  
Even though the neighborhood thinks I'm trashy  
And no good  
I suppose it could be true  
But there are worse things I could do.”

“I could flirt with all the guys  
Smile at them and bat my eyes  
Press against them when we dance  
Make them think they stand a chance  
Then refuse to see it through  
That's a thing I'd never do”

“I could stay home every night  
Wait around for Mr. Right  
Take cold showers every day  
And throw my life away  
On a dream that won't come true  
I could hurt someone like me  
Out of spite or jealousy”

“I don't steal and I don't lie  
But I can feel and I can cry  
A fact I'll bet you never knew.  
But to cry in front of you  
That's the worse thing I could do.”

“Brittany we have a problem.” Finn says

“Which is?” Brittany asks

“You have to take Sam’s place as Kenickie.” Finn says

“Why? What’s wrong?” Brittany asks

“The car door actually gave him a concussion and Quinn taking your place as Cha-Cha and you’re now Kenickie. Please?” Jude says practically begging

“I’ll do it.” Brittany says

[Ryder:]  
“I got chills.  
They're multiplyin'.  
And I'm losin' control.  
'Cause the power  
you're supplyin',  
it's electrifyin'!”

[Marley:]  
“You better shape up,  
'cause I need a man  
and my heart is set on you ([New Directions:] And my heart is set on you!)  
You better shape up;  
you better understand  
to my heart I must be true.”

[Ryder:]  
“Nothin' left, nothin' left for ([Marley:] Ooo) me to do.”

[Marley and Ryder:]  
“You're the one that I want.”

[New Directions:]  
“You are the one I want, Ooo, oo, o”

[Marley and Ryder:]  
“Honey  
The one that I want.”

[New Directions:]  
“You are the one I want, Ooo, oo, o”

[Marley and Ryder:]  
“Honey  
The one that I want.”

[New Directions:]  
“You are the one I want, Ooo, oo, o”

[Marley and Ryder:]  
“The one I need.  
Oh, yes indeed”

“Thanks for dragging me into this you two.” Finn says

“No problem.” Jude says

The cast take a bow and Rachel stands up and gives a loud wolf whistle Santana, Brittany and Quinn blow a kiss into a crowd but only Rachel knew they were for her

“‘Watching the skill this reviewer was forced to ask himself, was this what it was like to watch Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel or Freddie Mercury create Bohemian Rhapsody? And might the directing team of Jude Artie and Finn be head for careers at NASA? They should be because last night they plucked stars from their firmament and named them Marley Rose, Ryder Lynn and Santana Lopez. Has ever an audience been so enraptured? Mayhap. But when the last breath of life crosses this reviewer's lips, it shall utter but three words: Grease McKinley bravo’.” Jude says reading the review from last night performance

“Guys Fletcher Mantini’s just a sophomore, but he’s a notoriously tough critic. And that is what I call a rave review. Man this week hasn’t been easy knowing it was the last time I was gonna see you guys for a while. But one thing that’s geo is knowing I’m leaving you in good hands. If there’s one person who loves the Glee Club as much as I do, it’s Finn. And I know in my heart that he has what it takes to get you guys a win at sectionals. I have so much to thank you guys for. Not just for making every day of my life an absolute joy … but for giving me a chance to share this joy with others. I’m gonna see you guys in a few months, but hopefully there’ll be a brand new sectionals trophy in that case over there. I love you guys. I’m really gonna miss you.” Mr Shue says

“We’re gonna miss you Mr Shue.” Jude says. “I promised myself I wasn’t gonna cry.” Jude says swiping the tears from their eyes and hugging Mr Shue

“I’m so proud of all three of you.” Rachel says “a toast to Santana ‘Rizzo’ Lopez, Brittany ‘Kenickie’ Pierce and Quinn ‘Cha-Cha’ Fabray. Seriously girls you were amazing.” Rachel says holding her glass up

“And a toast to Rachel’s first audition, the first of thousands to come.” Brittany says

“Cheers.” They say clinking glasses

“Seriously though when Quinn disappeared in the intermission I just figured that the babysitter was having trouble with Beth not that she was going to be in the closing number.” Rachel says taking a long drink afterwards

“So how’s college?” Brittany asks

“Ah ah ah. No school talk today.” Rachel says

“Tonight is about us and when we get home I’ve prepared something extra special.” Rachel says giving a seductive wink

“Was that a sexy wink?” Santana asks

“It was really bad wasn’t it?” Rachel asks

“Yeah.” Quinn says

“Come on I’m hungry. Let’s order.” Brittany says

“Yes let’s.” Quinn says

Back at Quinn’s house suddenly Brittany is attacking Rachel face she lifts her up and wraps her legs around the tall blondes waist “if we don't hurry up I’m gonna fuck you in the stairs.” Brittany says growling at Rachel and snapping her teeth

“Yeah me too.” Santana says sucking on Quinn’s neck making her moan finally after several attempts to fuck both Quinn and Rachel into the stairs they finally make it to the bedroom as Quinn and Rachel undress each other and Santana and Brittany do the same. 

“You’re both on birth control right?” Brittany asks

“Yeah.” Rachel answers

“Me too. I do not want a repeat of freshman year.” Quinn says

“And I don’t need another pregnancy scare.” Rachel says

“Good enough for me.” Brittany says pushing Rachel onto the bed.

Brittany teases her by just pinching her clit lightly before pulling away. “Britt stop fucking teasing me!” Rachel snaps

“Now that’s no way to speak to your mistress.” Brittany says giving her a disapproving look and sitting in a chair

Rachel groans. “I’m sorry mistress please I’ll be good.” Rachel says

“Good girl but I still need to punish you so lie across my legs, your ass facing up to me. 100 spanks for being a bad girl and asking to be fuck using your big girl words. And you have to keep count.” Brittany says raising her hand

“1 Ow, 2 ow, 3”

Several minutes later

“98 99 100.” Rachel says as Brittany stops spanking her, her ass now red as a ripe tomato.

“Now what do you have to say to mistress Brittany?” Santana says will continuing to fuck Quinn hard

“I’m sorry mistress Brittany I won’t use my big girl words if I want something now will you please make me feel special mommy.” Rachel says using a baby girl voice this makes Brittany cock jump

“Yes baby girl mommy will make you feel good.” Brittany says plunging her cock in one go. Rachel moans Brittany brings it all the way back out to the tip and does this rhythm over and over again.

“Mommy it feels funny in my special area.” Rachel says

“That means you're going to cum baby girl.” Brittany says pinching her clit. Then Rachel screams out as she comes Brittany continues pinching her clit as she rides out her orgasm. “You’re making mommy feel really good baby girl. Now mommy’s gonna cum and then you can have mommy’s baby’s and be my little breeding bitch.” Brittany says thrusting in and out in a frantic rhythm

“No mommy I don’t want your babies.” Rachel wails

“Here it comes.” Brittany says leaning on Rachel’s back and bottoming out. “Now your mommy’s forever!” She growls in Rachel’s ear before nipping it slightly.

“I want to see Santana take Brittany up the ass.” Quinn says

“I’m down with that.” Santana says

“Pass me the lube.” Brittany says before handing it to Santana.

She lubes up three fingers and pushes them into Brittanys ass before pushing her cock into Brittanys lubed ass. “Wow this is weird.” Santana says before groaning

“Good weird or bad weird?” Quinn asks 

Then Brittany cries out. “Do you want me to stop?” Santana asks

“No it’s just something felt funny it’s all good now.” Brittany says and then she moans they continue this rhythm until Santana pulls out and quickly jerks off all over Brittany's back. “Did you just nut all over my back?” Brittany asks

“Yeah.” Santana says using a tissue to wipe the cum off Brittany's back before settling down with the others to snuggle. “I’m gonna miss this when Rachel and I have to go back to New York.” Santana says

“The bed always seems too big when you guys are in New York.” Quinn says

“I know it’s always perfect when you guys come to visit us. The bed seems the perfect size when you're here.” Brittany says

“So when are you guys going back to New York?” Quinn asks

“2 days time.” Rachel answers

“Well we’re gonna make the most of those two days


	6. Dynamic Duets

“Candidates come forth.” Blaine says

“Excited to be here Blaine.” Artie says wearing a bald cap

“First of all there are no civilian identities here okay? I’m Nightbird the Nocturnal Avenger. And second of all I really hope you’re not trying to pass yourself off as a certain telepathic leader of a certain group of mutants because that would be a copyright violation.” Blaine says

“I’m Dr. Y and my superpower is wheelies.” Artie says

“Welcome Dr. Y. Next?” Blaine says

“I’m Owlman Nightbirds owl based counterpart from Earth three.” Jude says

“Welcome Owlman. Next?” Blaine says

“I’m Queen Bee and I can sting like a bitch.” Becky says before buzzing

“Welcome Queen Bee. Next?” Blaine says

“I’m Power Ring Owlmans friend with my power ring charged with Will Power no evil shall escape my infinite sight.” Quinn says reciting her made up mantra

“Welcome Power Ring. Next?” Blaine says

“I’m the Human Brain.” Brittany says before staring into Blaine's soul

“Welcome Human Brain. What’s this? A text just came through on my NightPhone. ‘Did you talk to Kurt?’ I already told you, Asian Persuasion, this account is for emergencies only, and you cannot use your powers of manipulation to make me get back with my ex, so stop trying.” Blaine says

“Nightbird, give me the phone.” Jude says putting a hand out which Blaine places the phone in. Jude plugs the phone into his arm. “Give me 2 seconds. Got it!” Jude exclaims

“What’ve you done?” Blaine asks

“I’ll show you. Asian Persuasion give me your communicator.” Jude says which Tina gives to Jude. Jude rattles off a quick message and Blaine looks at his phone expecting a message. “I put a permanent subroutine into Nightbird’s phone which scans any and all messages containing the keywords ‘talk to’ and ‘Kurt’ in Asian Persuasion can’t use her powers on you over text.” Jude explains

“Thank you Owlman.” Blaine says then Dottie runs in. “What is it Chai Tea?” He asks

“Emergency in the choir room.” Dottie says

“To the choir room.” Blaine says as everyone runs down the hall capes billowing and stupid faces pulled and laughing at people serious faces

“Someone took your Nationals trophy and left that laptop.” Dottie says

“The question is who takes a Nationals trophy and leaves a laptop?” Jude asks

“Someone rich.” Blaine answers 

“Someone who wants to send us a message.” Sam says

“I got this.” Blaine says pressing play

“Greetings New Directions! You have been living as National champions on borrowed time, and that ends now. We have your trophy. Soon we’ll have your title as well. The great reckoning is at hand Sectionals. Your move.” The man in the video in a Dalton blazer with pixelated face and a distorted voice says

“Okay guys sit down. We got a lot of work to do.” Finn says

“If I could just find out where the video was made I could trace it back to the source. But there’s no features to the room.” Jude says playing back the video getting frustrated

“What if we unscrambled the voice?” Brittany suggests

“It’s easier than trying to figure out where the video was filmed.” Quinn says

“I can run an unscramble program but it’ll take a couple of hours to do the whole video and even then if it’s someone new to the Warblers we’re fucked.” Jude says

“It’s the best lead we’ve got, it's a risk we’re gonna have to take.” Blaine says

“Got it.” Jude says pulling out a memory stick. “This baby is top of the range coded it myself.” Jude says 

“What does it do?” Sam asks

“Well first it extracts the video file and runs it through its code to scan it in then I passed it back through much slower this time reversing the scramble and de-pixelating his face. I really need to speed it up though.” Jude says sighing at the end.

“No seriously I mean it sit down.” Finn says as the others sit down. “Jude put the laptop away.” 

“But our nationals trophy.” Jude says

“Can wait to be found.” Finn says

“Don't wanna wait wanna find it now.” Jude mumbles under their breath

“Okay so the first order of business today is to welcome the newest members of the glee club Kitty and Ryder.” Finn says

“Wait, don't we have to vote on her or something?” Tina asks

“Well Tina Kitty was fantastic in Grease.” Finn says

“I still don't trust her.” Jude says

“In spite of my god awful part.” Kitty says

“Besides we're under the gun. We are going to go to sectionals next week and we'd need twelve members to compete.” Finn shad

“Well then just call Santana back from New York again.” Tina says

“Can't, she has to start conserving money so it's more Skype dates and less physical dates.” Brittany says

“Look Tina not now. Uh ok where was I?” Finn asks

“The assignment.” Jude stage whispers

“Yes, your assignment. Broke the marker. Where does Mr Shue keep the other markers? Screw it uh … The theme is Foreigner. We're gonna sing Foreigner songs in foreign languages wearing all the costumes of the world's nations.” Finn says

“Wait seriously that's your idea?” Artie asks

“Yeah.” Finn says

“Kiki what do you think?” Brittany asks the phone

“I think I am alive and you're the machines.” Kiki answers

“Finn times have changed. We're national champions now which means we have to exceed all expectations, so if that's your best idea I don't think we stand a chance.” Blaine says standing up

“Wait where are you going?” Finn asks

“To get our trophy back from the Warblers.” Blaine says

“Blaine take this.” Jude says tossing him a mini drone

“A mini drone?” Blaine questions

“A surveillance bug. It's got a high powered micro camera and a built in long range transmitter which sends me every word said wherever you place it at Dalton.” Jude says

“Cool.” Blaine says slipping it into his utility belt

Finn walks in the choir room in a superhero costume. “Okay.” He says

“What is he wearing?” Jude asks Brittany

“I don't know but it's not arousing that's for sure.” Quinn says

“So I get it. My first idea was pretty bad.” Finn says

“Worse then funk.” Tina says

“Worst then ‘Night of Neglect’.” Artie says

“So I'm giving something new a try ‘Dynamic Duets’ this is gonna be a lot more fun, and it focuses on something you guys actually enjoy: superheroes.” Finn says

“Wait do we all have to put spandex on?” Marley asks

“I'm not wearing spandex.” Jude says

“I'm not either.” Brittany says

“And who exactly are you supposed to be? The Bulge who makes gym socks disappear?” Artie asks

“Please don't melt us with your bulge.” Brittany says

“Well I am the almighty Treble Clef, Uniter of Glee Clubs.” Finn says

“Meh it's better then Hit Monkey or Nova the human rocket.” Jude says

“Jesus is the only real almighty superhero.” Kitty says

“Amen.” Joe says

“Nobody asked you.” Kitty says

“Come on guys, let's hear him out.” Ryder says

“Thanks. Look at the Avengers or the Justice League. Individually they all have amazing power but … As a team they cannot be stopped. Right now we're a bunch of individuals and smaller sub teams with great powers and talent but we're not a team. Some of you even have mortal enemies in this very room, allowing the Dark Side to turn us against each other when we should be focusing on the Warblers.” Finn squad

“Nightbird, Owlman, Power Ring and the Human Brain are handling the missing trophy.” Blaine says in a dark brooding voice

“I got it!” Jude yells

“Who is it?” Quinn ask

“Was he at Dalton when you went back?” Jude asks Blaine

“Yeah his name is Hunter Clarington and he says his military academy show choir won regionals with presidential honours.” Blaine says

“So he's bad news then.” Sam says in his best Alfred voice

“Very.” Blaine says

“Great, that's a step in the right direction.” Finn says. “Jake will be paired with Ryder. Marley will join Kitty for duets. The rest of you prepare to fight an epic battle at Sectionals.” Finn continues

“Hey baby why are you dressed as superheroes?” Rachel asks answering the Skype call

“A new Glee Club assignment plus we’re in Blaine's club for superheroes. I'm Power Ring Owlmans friend with my power ring charged with Will Power no evil shall escape my infinite sight.” Quinn says reciting her made up mantra to Rachel

“Why are they dressed as superheroes?” Santana asks walking in

“Club.” Rachel says

“Who’s Britt?” Santana asks

“I’m the Human Brain. I’m like Brainiac 5 but a girl. I've got a twelfth level intellect but none of my 4 predecessors' homicidal tendencies. I am a perfect walking supercomputer.” Brittany explain

“You girls look awesome.” Rachel says

“What superhero would you guys be?” Brittany asks

“Check out this picture I'm about to send you.” Quinn says

“What the hell is Finn wearing?” Santana asks

“Whatever it is it's a huge turn off.” Rachel says

“Even more of a turn off than those fake nudes Sebastian made of San and I last year?” Brittany asks

“Creepy but still this is more of a turn off than that. Where did he get that suit from? Makemybulgedisappear.com?" Rachel asks all four girls chuckle at Rachel's comment

“Who knew the prude Rachel Berry could be such a bitch at times.” Santana says

“We've got to go. I ripped my suit at school and I got to fix it with battle shoulder pads and maybe a heads up display so I can see something.” Brittany says

“Night baby.” The two girls say

[Jake:]  
“I am”

[Ryder:]  
“I am” 

[Jake and Ryder:]  
“I am superman  
And I know what's happening.”

[Jake:]  
“I am”

[Ryder:]  
“I am”

[Jake and Ryder:]  
“I am superman  
And I can do anything  
You don't really love that guy you make it with now do you?  
I know you don't love that guy 'cause I can see right through you”

[Jake:]  
“I am”

[Ryder:]  
“I am” 

[Jake and Ryder:]  
“I am superman  
And I know what's happening”

[Jake:]  
“I am”

[Ryder:]  
“I am”

[Jake and Ryder:]  
“I am superman  
And I can do anything  
If you go a million miles away I'll track you down girl  
Trust me when I say I know the pathway to your heart  
Oh! Oh!”

[Ryder:]  
“Yeeaah!”

[Jake and Ryder:]  
“Yeah! yeah!  
If you go a million miles away I'll track you down girl  
Trust me when I say I know the pathway to your”

[Ryder:]  
“Heart!”

Then Jake punches Ryder in the face Jude and Brittany struggle to hold Ryder back as Blaine Sam and Finn hold Jake back. The five drag them out of the room and into the auditorium.

[Kitty:]  
“Where have all the good men gone  
And where are all the gods?  
Where's the street-wise Hercules  
To fight the rising odds?”

[Marley:]  
“Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?  
Late at night I toss and turn”

[Kitty and Marley:]  
“and dream of what I need  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life, larger than life”

[Marley and Kitty:]  
“Oh whoa!”

[Marley:]  
“Oh!”

[Kitty:]  
“Yeah!”

[Marley and Kitty:]  
“Oh, oh!”

[Marley:]  
“Somewhere after midnight  
In my wildest fantasies  
Somewhere just beyond my reach  
There's someone reaching back for me”

[Kitty:]  
“Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat”

[Marley and Kitty:]  
“It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet? ([Marley:] Ooh!)  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night”

[Kitty:]  
“Up where the mountains meet the heavens above  
Out where the lightning splits the sea  
I could swear that there's someone somewhere watching me”

[Marley:]  
“Through the wind and the chill and the rain  
And the storm and the flood  
I can feel his approach is like a fire in my blood”

[Marley and Kitty:]  
“Oh!  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure, he’s gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
I need a hero”

“That was incredible. You worked so well together. Teamwork yeah!” Finn says

“You guys I don't smell raspberry hair gel.” Brittany says

“Yeah where's Blaine?” Jude says

“Well as some of you may know recently Blaine has been going through a rough time.” Finn says

“Oh boo hoo. Get over it. It's like a bad Lifetime movie.” Tina says

“And he's decided to finish the rest of his senior year at Dalton Academy.” Finn finishes

“He's been taken by the villains of my world.” Jude says

“Dude this is part of some master plan right?” Sam asks

“Blaine, you're going back to Dalton to gather intel right so we can kick their ass at Sectionals.” Jude says

“Don't you three I feel bad enough as it is okay?” Blaine says 

“You've been beating yourself up since you and Kurt broke up. What did you do that was so bad?” Brittany asks

“What are you putting yourself into exile over?” Quinn asks

“It was a guy who friended me on Facebook. I went over to his place because it felt like maybe Kurt and I weren't meant for each other and he was moving in with his life so I did the same. But the horrible thing is, right after I did it I knew that we were.” Blaine says

“Dude you gotta tell Kurt that.” Brittany says

“You think I haven't told him that?” Blaine says

“Calm down. It’s okay.” Quinn says

“No it isn't okay Quinn. Imagine how Santana and Brittany and Rachel would feel if you cheated on them. I cheated on the one person I love more than anything in the world I hurt so of course he's not going to trust me. He's never gonna forgive me.” Blaine says

“Even if he doesn't, forgive yourself.” Jude says

“You got to stop … what’s the word when you make yourself into a villain?” Quinn says

“Villainizing?” Blaine suggests

“You gotta stop villainizing yourself.” Quinn says

“Give us one day one day to show you the hero we all know you can be and we’ve got a whole Glee Club that agrees with us. One day before you pack it all up one day to be the hero we all know you can be.” Sam says

[Sam:]  
“I, I wish I could swim  
Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim  
Though nothing, nothing will keep us together  
We can beat them, for ever and ever  
Oh we can be Heroes, just for one day”

[Blaine:]  
“I, I will be king  
And you, you will be queen  
Though nothing will drive them away  
We can be Heroes, just for one day”

[Brittany and Blaine:]  
“We can be us, just for one day”

[Brittany:]  
“I, I can remember ([Blaine:] I remember)  
Standing, by the wall ([Blaine:] by the wall)  
And the guns shot above our heads ([Blaine:] over our heads)  
And we kissed, as though, nothing could fall ([Blaine:] nothing could fall)”

[Blaine, Brittany, Quinn, Jude and Sam:]  
“And the shame was on the other side  
Oh we can beat them, for ever and ever  
Then we could be Heroes,  
just for one day  
We can be Heroes  
We can be Heroes  
We can be Heroes  
Just for one day”

Sam and Quinn put down their guitars and Jude comes from behind the drums. “Well? What’s your decision?” Sam asks

“One last mission first.” he says tossing masks at Brittany and Sam

“What’s the mission?” Jude asks

“Getting our Nationals trophy back.” Blaine says

“You wanna break into Dalton? This plan has massive balls. I like it.” Jude says pulling out the Owlman costume

At Dalton

“Hang on.” Jude says

“What?” Brittany says

“Blaine did you leave our little present in the Warblers room?” Jude asks

“Yes.” Blaine says

“Okay we should be in range.” Jude says

“In range for what?” Sam asks

“Me to get a picture from the drone.” Jude says

“Good.” Blaine says

“We’re all clear. The nest is empty.” Jude says as Blaine throws a grappling hook up onto the railing

“Lock pick?” Blaine says holding out his hand

“I’ll do you one better. Mini electric lock pick.” Jude says pushing a small device into the keyhole

“We’re in.” Blaine says as the door opens

As Brittany Jude and Quinn gets the Nationals trophy out Blaine and Sam leave a little note in the form of the Warblers blazer and a note saying ‘no thanks’ and all in the nick of time as Hunter and Sebastian come in to find the Nationals trophy missing and the five costumed high schoolers running away with the trophy Jude turns around and flips them off before detonating a smoke bomb he’d placed inside the minidrone. “Was that you?” Quinn asks

“Well if by me you mean the mini drone then yes it was.” Jude says smirking lazily

“You mean that mini drone was a bomb?” Blaine asks

“Smoke bomb. Micro explosives.” Jude explains.

“That was clever.” Quinn says

“If we got caught I was gonna set it off to cover our escape.” Jude says as the others climb into the car and Jude onto their motor bike “I’ll see you guys back at school.” Jude says before riding away

“Guys it was epic. Dalton was like Death Star meets Mordor meet Temple of Doom.” Sam says

“Yeah and then Jude set off a bomb.” Brittany says

“Smoke bomb.” Jude clarifies

“I owe all of you an apology for ever doubting McKinley’s my home. You guys are my home. We’ve got a real fight ahead of us with the Warblers at Sectionals but I am not worried at all. Because we’ve got the team, we’ve got the talent and we have most importantly the leader.” Bliane says handing Finn the Nationals trophy to our back in the case

“All right all right. Let’s start with some warm ups, and then we can …” Finn says before Tina interrupts him

“Uh Finn can I say something? This is for you from all of us.” Tina says

“It’s a superhero utility belt cleverly disguised as a fanny pack. I had a large amount of design input.” Jude says. “There some stuff in there we thought you could really use.” Jude continues

“Magic markers I could never find these. Antacid. Thanks.” Finn says pulling out each thing before pulling out a severed Barbie head

“That’s from me and Beth. You’re welcome.” Brittany says looking pleased with herself

Then Finn pulls out a plastic box with a brass treble clef in it. “That’s to always remind you that you’re the almighty Treble Clef, the Uniter of Glee Clubs.” Blaine says

“And the Uniter of friends.” Jude finishes chuckling like there in a bad 60’s action movie

“Wow. I uh don’t know what to say. I’ll never let you down. I promise. Okay come on huddle up. All right let’s huddle up. Next week it’s Sectionals, and we’re gonna kick some sorry Warbler ass. And then it’s Regionals and then it’s Nationals, and then this year is gonna go down in the McKinley High record books as the greatest year the New Directions has ever seen. Onwards and upwards!” Finn yells 

[Blaine with New Directions:]  
“Some nights, I stay up cashing in my bad luck  
Some nights, I call it a draw  
Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle  
Some nights, I wish they'd just fall off”

[Jake with New Directions:]  
“But I still wake up, I still see your ghost  
Oh lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for  
Oh”

[Sam with New Directions:]  
“What do I stand for? ([New Directions:] Oh whoa!)  
What do I stand for? ([New Directions:] Oh whoa!)”

[Ryder:]  
“Most nights, I don't know  
Anymore”

[New Directions:]  
“Oh whoa!  
Oh whoa!  
Oh whoa!  
Oh  
Oh  
Oh whoa!  
Oh whoa!  
Oh”

[Blaine and Sam:]  
“This is it, boys, this is war ([New Directions:] Oooh!)  
What are we waiting for? ([New Directions:] Oh whoa!)  
Why don't we break the rules already? ([New Directions:] Oh)”

[Ryder and Jake:]  
“I was never one to believe the hype ([New Directions:] Oh whoa!)  
Save that for the black and white ([New Directions:] Oh whoa!)  
I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked ([New Directions:] Oh)  
But here they come again to jack my style”

[Kitty:]  
“That's alright”

[Marley:]  
“That's alright”

[Kitty:]  
“I found a”

[Kitty with Marley:]  
“Martyr in my bed tonight  
Stops my bones from wondering just who I, who I  
Who I am  
Oh, who am I?  
Humm, humm”

[Marley:]  
“Who am I? ([Kitty:] Ooo)  
Who am I?”

[Blaine with New Directions:]  
“Well, some nights, I wish that this all would end  
Cause I could use some friends for a change”

[Ryder with New Directions:]  
“And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again  
Some nights, I always win ([Joe:] I always win)”

[Jake with New Directions:]  
“But I still wake up, I still see your ghost  
Oh lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for  
Oh”

[Sam with New Directions:]  
“What do I stand for? ([New Directions:] Oh!)  
What do I stand for? ([New Directions:] Oh whoa!)”

[Sam:]  
“Most nights,  
I don't know”

[Marley:]  
“Oh come on!”

[Joe:]  
“So this is it?  
I sold my soul for this?  
Washed my hands in that for this? ([Marley:] Oh my)  
I missed my mom and dad for this? ([Marley:] Oh my my)”

[Tina:]  
“When I see stars ([Marley:] Oh, come on)  
When I see, When I see stars, ([Marley:] Oh, come on)  
That's all they are, when I hear songs ([Marley:] Oh my my)  
They sound like a swan”

[Ryder:]  
“So come on”

[Jake:]  
“Oh, come on”

[Kitty:]  
“Come on”

[Marley:]  
“Oh, come on!”

[Blaine and Sam:]  
“Well, this is it, guys, that is all ([New Directions:] Oh)  
Five minutes in and I'm bored again ([New Directions:] Oh whoa!)  
Ten years of this, I'm not sure if anybody understands ([New Directions:] Oh)”

[Jake and Ryder:]  
“This one is not for the folks at home ([New Directions:] Oh)  
Sorry to leave, mom, I had to go ([New Directions:] Oh whoa!)  
Who the heck wants to die alone all dried up in the desert sun? ([New Directions:] Oh)”

[Kitty:]  
“My heart is breaking for my sister  
And the con that she called "love"  
But when I look into my nephews eyes”

[Marley:]  
“Man, you wouldn't believe  
The most amazing things  
That can come from  
Some terrible lies, yeah, ah woah!”

[Kitty:]  
“Oh! ([Marley:] Ah, yeah, ah)”

[Marley:]  
“Oh whoa whoa!”

[New Directions:]  
“Oh whoa! (Tina: Oh whoa, whoa, whoa!)”

[Kitty:]  
“Oh whoa! ([Tina:] Oh whoa, whoa, whoa!) ([New Directions:] Oh whoa!)  
Haaaah ([Tina:] Oh whoa, whoa, whoa!)”

[Tina:]  
“Oh whoa, whoa, whoa! ([New Directions:] Oh whoa!)  
Oh whoa, whoa, whoa!  
Yeah,”

[Kitty with Tina:]  
“The other night, you wouldn't believe the dream ([New Directions:] Oh!)  
I just had about you and me ([New Directions:] Oh whoa!)  
I called you up, but we'd both agree ([Marley:] Oh come on!)”

[Joe with New Directions:]  
“It's for the best you didn't listen ([Marley:] Yeah!)  
It's for the best we get our distance ([Marley:] Oh!)  
For the best you didn't listen ([Marley:] Oh whoa!)  
It's for the best we get our distance”

[Marley and New Directions:]  
“Oh,  
Oh whoa!  
Oh whoa!  
Oh”

“It was awesome and then Jude blew up a smoke bomb.” Brittany says finishing recounting their trip to Dalton

“You guys are coming for thanksgiving right?” Quinn asks

“Of course our flight lands three days before thanksgiving.” Rachel says

“I can’t wait to see you girls in real life again to get my sweet lady kisses.” Brittany says


	7. Thanksgiving

“Home for the holidays just like we promised you.” Rachel says

“Beth can’t wait to see you.” Quinn says

At the girls home

“Mama! Mami!” Beth screamed running at the two girls

“Hi sweetie.” Rachel says scooping Beth up and putting her on her hip. “Have you been a good girl for your mamas?” She asks

“Yes. I always a good girl.” Beth says beaming proudly

“All right, do you realise standing before you are legends? Any single one of these guys could be President of the United States one day.” Finn says

“I don’t know about that.” Artie says

“And lucky for us, they’ve agreed to help us.” Finn says before Puck cuts him off

“Hang with the new chumps and see if some of our sheer awesomeness rubs off on you. It will.” Puck says

“When you hear your name, pair up.” Finn says. “Puck you’re with your brother. Mike you’re with Ryder. Marley you’re with Rachel. Kitty you’re with Santana. Wade, Mercedes and Fynn.” He says

“Sashay.” Mercedes says

“Enchanté.” Unique says

“I knew it. Mercedes was cloned.” Brittany says

“Now your mentors are here to help you with whatever you need: singing, dancing.” Finn says before Quinn interrupts him

“Birth control.” She says

“The worst mistake we can make is to underestimate our competition. The Warblers are ruthless this year. Finn says

“And don’t forget about the Rosedale Mennonites. Any show choir that can raise a barn in five minutes deserve mad respect.” Artie says

“Marley and Blaine will handle our duet, and for our showstopper were doing Gangnam Style.” Finn says

“Okay let me just say this out loud what everyone here is thinking: you finally got an okay haircut, you’re not doing that annoying half smirk as much as you used to, but you’re still an idiot. No one in this room can tackle a massive dance number except for Brit.” Santana says

“She’s right. I can sing and play the guitar well but I can’t dance like Brittany can. Now I propose something a little more dark and edge. We start out with Welcome to the Black Parade moving into Teenages and then Marley and Blaine take I’m Not Okay (I Promise) as a duet to end.” Jude says

“I have to agree with Jude on this one. You got great dancers but a larger set of voices and Marley’s your secret weapon no ones seen her. She's perfect.” Santana says

“No, no. This is better we start with I’m Not Okay (I Promise) move into Teenagers and then end with Welcome to the Black Parade. Sometimes my genius is almost frightening.” Jude says

“All right, all right we’ll go with Jude’s My Chemical Romance medley.” Finn says

“The only problem is I’d need to spend extra time with Brittany, Marley, Tina, Blaine and Quinn to nail down the bass guitar and secondary guitar, the choreography and the singing.” Jude says

“Okay then everyone who was just listed by Jude met them in the auditorium.” Finn says

In the auditorium

“So I’m Not Okay (I Promise) is all about you being not okay about someone you like is someone else Teenagers an anti violence song and the Black Parade is our showstopper as Marley I want you to take centre stage for the slow balladic opening and then Brittany as we move into the emo punk middle section we’re gonna show off your dance moves.” Jude says

“All right.” Finn says. “You have your marching orders, get to work. Brittany Quinn you need to go see the other girls in the choir room.” He says

In the choir room

“Along with being beautiful the three of us are National Showchoir Championship goddesses.” Brittany says

“We’re winners. Which is why has asked us to come and shower you with the inspiration that is the Faithless Quartet.” Santana says

“Santana, Brittany, Rachel and I knew each other so well that I could tell by the slightest quiver in Santana’s upper lip which way we were gonna move. Whether our hips were gonna shake or shimmy.” Quinn says

“And I could tell just from the slightest bit of body language from Rachel whether I need to speed up the tempo or slow it down.” Jude says

“Now you girls have to be tight up there okay? Jude is the best guitarist we know and he can cover for you but only for so long. The judges love the feminine quality, and the Warblers just don’t have it.” Santana says

“It’s about being individuals. You know, we’re all different. But it’s also about synchronicity.” Rachel says

“Can you give us an example?” Marley asks

“It’s been a few months for Santana and I, but I’m sure the four of us could put something together on the fly.” Rachel says

[Quinn (Santana, Rachel and Brittany):]  
“Oh oh oh... Oh oh oh oh oh...  
I've been crying' (Oh oh)  
Cause I'm lonely (For you)  
Smiles have all turned (To tears)  
But tears won't wash away the fears (Oh oh)”

“That you're never ever gonna return (Eh eh eh eh eh)  
To ease the fire that within me burns (Eh eh eh eh eh)”

[Quinn (with Santana, Rachel and Brittany):]  
“It keeps me (Crying baby for you)  
Keeps me (Sighin' baby for you)”

[Quinn (Santana, Rachel and Brittany):]  
“So won't you hurry?  
Come on boy, see about me (Come see about me)  
See about you baby (Come see about me)  
I've given up my friends just (For you)”

[Quinn (with Santana, Rachel and Brittany):]  
“My friends are gone and you (Have too)”

[Quinn (Santana, Rachel and Brittany):]  
“No peace shall I find (Oh oh)  
Until you come back And be mine (Oh oh)”

“No matter what you do or say (Eh eh eh eh eh)  
I'm gonna love you anyway (Eh eh eh eh eh)”

[Quinn (with Santana, Rachel and Brittany):]  
“Keep on (Crying baby for you)  
I'm gonna keep (Sighin' baby for you)”

[Quinn (Santana, Rachel and Brittany):]  
“So come on hurry  
Come on and see about me (Come see about me)  
See about you baby (Come see about me”)

[Quinn (Santana, Rachel and Brittany):]  
“So won't you hurry  
Come on boy, see about me (Come see about me)  
See about you baby (Come see about me)  
You know I'm so lonely (Come see about me)  
I love you only (Come see about me)”

[Brittany (Santana, Rachel and Quinn):]  
“See about me (Come see about me)”

[Quinn (Santana, Rachel and Brittany):]  
“See about your baby (Come see about me)”

[Santana (Brittany, Rachel and Quinn):]  
“You know I'm so lonely (Come see about me)”

[Rachel (Santana, Quinn and Brittany):]  
“See about your baby (Come see about me)”

[Quinn (Santana and Brittany):]  
“I love you only (Come see about me)  
Come see about me  
Oh”

“Hey are you feeling okay? You look like you’re gonna hurl.” Rachel asks Marley

“I think I’m just really tired from all the rehearsing.” Marley lies

In the auditorium

“Hey Brittany get down here. Centre stage I’ll give you a beat.” Jude says as he plays a soft melody allowing Brittany to practice her moves

The day of sectionals

“Hustle up you two. You’re gonna miss show circle. And welcome back, girl.” Mercedes says

“What’s show circle?” Marley asks

“It’s a tradition as old as the renegades of this room we do before every competition.” Jude says

“It’s something Mr. Shue made up. And today I want to add to it. Joe, how about you lead us in a prayer?” Finn asks

“Whoa, dude, Old Testament. There’s Hebrews here.” Puck says

“Yeah, okay. This is one of my favourite Bible verses from Isaiah. Considering that Warblers are so good, and that it's the first competition for a lot of you, I think it’s appropriate. ‘So do not fear because I am with you. Do not be dismayed. I will strengthen you. I will uphold you with my righteous hand’.” Joe says

“And our righteous dance moves and rock and roll skills, amen.” Artie says

“All right!” Everyone yells

“Ugh! Man I remember my first sectionals like it was yesterday. We came together as a team because we had to. Because no one outside our circle knew how much we’d been through, and how much it meant for us to win it. This is our house. Look into the face of these graduates. They’ve been to the mountaintop. This is just the first step on your climb to meeting them there.” Finn says

“On three?” Santana asks

“Three two one. Amazing!” They all yell

I’m Hunter Clarignton and we’re the Dalton Academy Warblers. Hope you enjoy the show.” He says

“Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby  
Let me know  
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it  
And we start real slow  
You just put your lips together  
And you come real close  
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby  
Here we go”

“(Look) I'm betting you like people  
And I'm betting you love freak mode  
And I'm betting you like girls that give love to girls  
And stroke your little ego”

“I bet you I'm guilty your honor  
That's just how we live in my genre  
Bet your lips spin back around corner  
Slow it down baby take a little longer”

“Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby  
Let me know  
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it  
And we start real slow  
You just put your lips together  
And you come real close  
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby  
Here we go”

“Whistle baby, whistle baby,  
Whistle baby, whistle baby”

“It's like everywhere I go  
My whistle ready to blow  
Shawty don't leave a note  
She can get any by the low  
Told me she's not a pro  
It's okay, it's under control  
Show me soprano, 'cause girl you can handle”

“So amusing, now you can make a whistle with the music  
Hope you ain't got no issue, you can do it  
Give me the perfect pitch, ya never lose it”

“Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby  
Let me know  
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it  
And we start real slow  
You just put your lips together  
And you come real close  
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby  
Here we go”

“Whistle baby, whistle baby,  
Whi-whistle baby, whistle baby  
Whistle baby, whistle baby,  
Whi-whistle baby, whistle baby”

[Sebastian:]  
“Hey girl, I'm waitin' on ya, I'm waitin' on ya  
Come on and let me sneak you out  
And have a celebration, a celebration  
The music up, the window's down  
Yeah, we'll be doing what we do  
Just pretending that we're cool  
And we know it too  
Yeah, we'll keep doing what we do  
Just pretending that we're cool  
So tonight”

[Sebastian with The Warblers:]  
“Let's go crazy, crazy, crazy till we see the sun  
I know we only met but let's pretend it's love  
And never, never, never stop for anyone  
Tonight let's get some  
And live while we're young”

[The Warblers:]  
“Woahhh oh oh oh  
Woahhhh oh oh oh”

[Sebastian:]  
“Wanna live while we're young”

[The Warblers:]  
“Woahhh oh oh oh”

[Sebastian:]  
“Tonight let's get some  
And live while we're young”

[Sebastian and Hunter:]  
“Hey girl, it's now or never, it's now or never  
Don't over-think, just let it go  
And if we get together, yeah, get together  
Don't let the pictures leave your phone, ohhhh  
Yeah, we'll be doing what we do  
Just pretending that we're cool  
So tonight”

[Sebastian with The Warblers:]  
“Let's go crazy, crazy, crazy till we see the sun  
I know we only met but let's pretend it's love  
And never, never, never stop for anyone  
Tonight let's get some  
And live while we're young”

[The Warblers:]  
“Woahhh oh oh oh  
Woahhhh oh oh oh”

[Sebastian:]  
“Wanna live while we're young”

[The Warblers:]  
“Woahhh oh oh oh”

[Sebastian:]  
“Tonight let's get some  
And live while we're young  
And girl, you and I,  
We're 'bout to make some memories tonight”

[Hunter:]  
“I wanna live while we're young  
We wanna live while we're young”

[Sebastian with The Warblers:]  
“Let's go crazy, crazy, crazy till we see the sun  
I know we only met but let's pretend it's love  
And never, never, never stop for anyone  
Tonight let's get some  
And live while we're young  
Crazy, crazy, crazy till we see the sun  
I know we only met but let's pretend it's love  
And never, never, never stop for anyone  
Tonight let's get some  
And live while we're young  
Wanna live, wanna live, wanna live  
Come on, younnngg  
Wanna live, wanna live, wanna live  
While we're young  
Wanna live, wanna live, wanna live  
Tonight let's get some”

[Sebastian:]  
“And live while we're young”

“Oh fuck.” Jude says. “Suddenly My Chem doesn’t seem as strong.” They say

“All right here. Here we go.” Finn says

“Remember Quinn for I’m Not Okay (I Promise) and The Black Parade just follow my lead. And for Teenagers just try not to mess up.” Jude says

“Mr. Shue is here.” Sam whispers

“Please welcome to the stage the New Directions.” The announcer says

Jude starts playing a fast riff and when he reaches the moment he gives Blaine a nod to start singing

[Blaine]  
“Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.  
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.  
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,  
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?”

[Both]  
“I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
You wear me out”

[Marley (Blaine)]  
“What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?  
(I'm not okay)  
I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means  
(I'm not okay)  
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook  
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!”

[Both]  
“I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
You wear me out”

[Marley]  
“Forget about the dirty looks  
The photographs your boyfriend took  
You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed”

[Marley and Blaine (Jude)]  
“I'm okay  
I'm okay!  
I'm okay, now  
(I'm okay, now)”

“But you really need to listen to me  
Because I'm telling you the truth  
I mean this, I'm okay!  
(Trust Me)”

“I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
Well, I'm not okay  
I'm not o-fucking-kay  
I'm not okay  
I'm not okay  
(Okay)”

As the song ends Marley crashes


	8. Swan Song

“Give her some room.” Unique says

“Does anyone have anything she can eat?” Kitty asks

“I may have some leftover Halloween candy in my locker.” Tina says

I have some nuts in my backpack and a carton of apple juice.” Jude says running to get it

“I’ll go get Marley’s mom.” Joe says

“This is bad. Never in the history of show choir competition has anyone ever fainted.” Artie says

“Got the juice and nuts.” Jude say throwing it Brittany who gives it Marley

“No I’m okay.” Marley says

“Marley drink the fucking juice and eat the damn nuts.” Jude says

“Marley? Marley are you okay? What happened?” Finn asks

“She hasn’t been eating. She’s been skipping lunch.” Jake says

“Is that because you’ve been telling her to? You trying to turn her into a damn rexy?” Rachel says pointing the blame at Kitty

“What? No. What would I do that?” Kitty says playing it off.

“Because you’re a crazy evil bitch. You don’t think I noticed Marley’s Grease costume slowly got smaller?” Jude says

“Hey Marley are you okay?” Mr Shue asks

“The nurse is on the way.” Finn says

“Santana, Puck, you two stay here with Marley. The rest of you guys, get back out there. Leaving the stage mid-competition, for any reason, faces the risk of an immediate disqualification.” Mr Shue says

“What?! That’s a rule?” Finn says

“Yeah it’s a rule. One of the bylaws, actually. As all of you were spiralling into a self created K hole of crazy, the judges, by unanimous vote, have declared the Warblers victorious. Hey, congratulations, Finn Hudson, Jude Constantine Sargeant. For the first time in its charmed, yet pitiful existence, the New Directions has lost Sectionals. But here’s the good news. Christmas came early for one Sue Sylvester.” Sue says

“So that's it no more glee club.” Sam says

“Until next September.” Mr Shue says

“Sugar already bailed.” Artie says

“Can I just say what everyone is thinking. This is Marley’s fault. New Rachel, my butt. I knew Rachel Berry. I was friends with Rachel Berry, and you, Marley, are no Rachel Berry.” Tina says

“Guys that enough. It's not like it's over. The holiday concert is later this week, and we are going to be preparing for it all week long. If this is our swan song let's make the best one it can be.” Finn says 

“You really expect us to go up in front of the whole school and parade our loserdom for all to see?” Kitty asks

“Yeah, Kitty does have a point. We agreed to do the show when we thought we'd be on the heels of another Sectionals victory. Now it just feels like a pity party.” Artie says

“I love to sing and dance as much as anyone, but without competition to prepare for, it's hard to get motivated.” Tina says

“I understand what we need is a shift in perspective, but let's just enjoy this week, and look forward to our big comeback next year.

“That's right.” Mr Shue says

“What about those of us that don't have a next year?” Sam asks

Brittany follows a trial Cheerios on the ground right to Quinn. “It worked, you found me.” She says

“So you laid out the line to cereal.” Brittany says

“Well, it’s Tuesday, and I know you forget to eat breakfast on a Tuesday because the first few days of the week tend to confuse you.” Quinn says

“How did you know that?” Brittany asks

“You told me.” Quinn says

“Is that mine?” Brittany asks as Quinn hands her the glass of milk

“I want to sing you a love song.” Quinn says

“Oh, Pretty Woman I love this song.” Brittany says

“Pretty woman, walking down the street  
Pretty woman, the kind I like to meet  
Pretty woman  
I don't believe you, you're not the truth  
No one could look as good as you”

“Mercy”

“Pretty woman, won't you pardon me?  
Pretty woman, I couldn't help but see  
Pretty woman  
That you look lovely as can be  
Are you lonely just like me?”

“Wow”

“Pretty woman, stop a while  
Pretty woman, talk a while  
Pretty woman, give your smile to me  
Pretty woman, yeah, yeah, yeah  
Pretty woman, look my way  
Pretty woman, say you'll stay with me”

“'Cause I need you, I'll treat you right  
Come with me baby, be mine tonight”

“Pretty woman, don't walk on by  
Pretty woman, don't make me cry  
Pretty woman, don't walk away, hey...  
OK”

“If that's the way it must be, OK  
I guess I'll go on home, it's late  
There'll be tomorrow night, but wait  
What do I see?”

“Is she walking back to me?  
Yeah, she's walking back to me  
Oh, oh, pretty woman” as the song ends they kiss.

In the auditorium

“I can’t believe it’s been, like, what, two days, that you’ve all gone in completely separate, and totally insane, directions.” Finn says

“We lost sectionals. Our season is over. You can’t be upset we moved on. It’s the healthy thing to do.” Tina says

“Is it really? Is it the healthy thing to do to take orders for Sue Sylvester for the rest of the school year? And Artie, Jude you two practically dragged me out of that tire shop, telling me this club was part of my destiny somehow. What did you even join? Your costume is ridiculous. It looks like a peacock died on your head. And Jude why did you join the football team?”

“It’s called a plume.” Artie says

“I joined because I’m faster than anybody else on the team.” Jude says

“Whatever! Okay, look, I’m not gonna waste the six minutes we’ve got in the auditorium yelling at you guys.” Finn says

“Six minutes?” Joe says

“Yeah. Emperor Sylvester swooped in and carved the reservation hours into tenths. So the only other time I could get was 9:54, Friday night, and I’ll be here ready to rehearse, and I hope you will too. Because if you don’t, I think you’re going to regret missing that opportunity for the rest of your lives.” Finn says

“I’ll definitely be here.” Marley says

“Yeah, well, we’d all be here if you hadn’t face planted at Sectionals.” Tina says

“Tina enough.” Finn says as they all walk out

“Are you going to rehearsal on Friday?” Brittany asks Jude

“No. Why?” Jude asks

“Because I have a reservation for three at VIP lounge at Breadstixs.” Brittany says

“Cool. I’ll definitely be there.” Jude says

“Dear Glee Club I realised most of you think it’s stupid to still call us that. I mean, our seasons over, so what are we really? We lost Sectionals, so what do we have left? Nothing. We’ve got nothing. I got a phone call from Rachel last night. She just won the Winter Showcase at NYADA, which is like a huge deal. Like not once has it ever gone to a freshman. And she reminded me why I joined Glee Club in the first place. It’s about music. Everyone of us loves music. And no one can take that away from us. I’m not giving up on us. Marley found a place where we can rehearse, and I want us to meet there today after school at 5:00. I hope I see you all there.” Jude says reading Finns email aloud

“Glee Club isn’t dead as long as no one forgets about it!” Jude yells

[Jude]  
“Hey, hey, hey, hey  
Ohhh…”

[Jude and Sam]  
“Won't you come see about me?  
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby  
Tell me your troubles and doubts  
Giving me everything inside and out and  
Love's strange so real in the dark  
Think of the tender things that we were working on  
Slow change may pull us apart  
When the light gets into your heart, baby”

[Jude and Finn]  
“Don't you forget about me  
Don't don't don't don't  
Don't you forget about me”

[Jake and Ryder]  
“Will you stand above me?  
Look my way, never love me  
Snow keeps falling, snow keeps falling  
Down, down, down  
Will you recognise me?  
Call my name or walk on by  
Snow keeps falling, snow keeps falling  
Down, down, down, down”

[Jude]  
Hey, hey, hey, hey  
Ohhhh...

[Kitty and Artie]  
“Don't you try to pretend  
It's my feeling we'll win in the end  
I won't harm you or touch your defenses  
Vanity and security”

[Blaine and Tina]  
“Don't you forget about me  
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby  
Going to take you apart  
I'll put us back together at heart, baby”

[Brittany and Quinn]  
“Don't you forget about me  
Don't don't don't don't  
Don't you forget about me”

[The New Directions and Finn]  
“As you walk on by  
Will you call my name?  
As you walk on by  
Will you call my name?  
When you walk away  
Oh will you walk away?  
Will you walk on by?  
Come on, call my name  
Will you call my name?”

“I say:  
La la la…” as they finish singing they all hug and celebrate that they all back together


	9. Sadie Hawkins

“So Brittany do you wanna go to Sadie Hawkins?” Quinn asks Brittany

“Sure.” Brittany says

In the astronomy classroom

“I wanna sit under Venus.” Sugar says

“I wanna sit under Uranus.” Sam says and everyone titters at him. “What’s so funny?” He asks

“Nothing.” Jude says

“So this week in Glee Club it’s ladies choice, inspired by the Sadie Hawkins dance.” Finn says

“Unfortunately I’ve already swooped up Brittany which counts because she has you know a penis.” Quinn says

“Must you be so prude Lucy.” Brittany says slapping her on the arm

“Only for you my love.” Quinn says. “But that’s how I know I’m in trouble when she calls me Lucy.” She says

“Which I thought of. It was my idea.” Tina says

“Yes thank you Tina. And every girl will sing to whoever they want to take to the dance.” Finn says

“I will be showing up alone unless I decide to ask someone which I’m not so I’m volunteering my services for the slow dance songs.” Jude says. “And I know what one of them is gonna be. Earth Angel by Marvin Berry.” They say leaning back in their chair.

“Well I for one love this lesson. I’ve got a song I wanna sing for someone.” Kitty says

In the boys locker room

“All right Tina is ready to perform her solo and make her choice. Gentlemen, prepare yourselves for Tina Cohen-Chang.” Finn says

“Thank you Finn. For my song I’ll be performing ‘I Don’t Know How to Love Him’ from Jesus Christ Superstar. It’s about the pain of unrequited love and.” Tina says before Finn interrupts her

“Okay just wrap it up. Beiste needs the locker room at 4:30.” Finn says

“Sorry, hit it.” Tina says

“I don't know how to love him   
What to do, how to move him  
I've been changed, yes really changed  
In these past few days, when I've seen myself,   
I seem like someone else”

“I never thought I'd come to this  
What's it all about?  
What's it all about?  
Yet, if he said he loved me,   
I'd be lost. I'd be frightened  
I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope  
I'd turn my head. I'd back away  
I wouldn't want to know  
He scares me so  
Ooh, I want him so  
I love him so”

“All right let's hear it for Tina.” Finn says

“So Blaine, will you go to the dance with me?” Tina asks

“Oh, uh, wow, um, Tina I don’t know what to say. Um, no. Thank you, but no, no, thank you.” Blaine says

“Hey can I talk to you a second?” Brittany says to Marley

“Yeah.” Marley says

“Uh, my name is Brittany.” Brittany says

“I know.” Marley says

“Okay. I just wasn’t sure. We’ve never actually had a conversation before, and this is exciting. I noticed that whenever you look at Jake you get a really sad look on your face, and if it’s quiet enough, I can actually hear that you’re whimpering like a suckling puppy or my daughter Beth when she was a little baby. I think you wanna ask him to the dance and you’re afraid to.” Brittany says

“We went out a couple of times and it was really great. This is my locker. But then, after I fainted at sectionals, he started acting really strange. He stopped calling me and he’s acting all mysterious.” Marley says

“So can I make a suggestion then? You need to find your power and I’m gonna help you do that.” Brittany says

“How? Where are you going?” Marley asks

“We’re gonna sing a song together and the music usually starts when I say something like, ‘It’s Brittany bitch,’ or I do one of my magical turns.” Brittany says

[Marley:]  
“I know something about love”

[Brittany:]  
“You've gotta want it bad”

[Marley:]  
“If that guy's got into your blood”

[Brittany:]  
“Go out and get him”

[Brittany and Marley:]  
“If you want him to be ([New Directions Girls:] Do, do, do, do)  
The very part of you  
Makes you want to breathe  
Here's the thing to do”

[Brittany and Marley with New Directions Girls:]  
“Tell him that   
You're never gonna leave him  
Tell him that   
You're always gonna love him  
Tell him, tell him, tell him,   
Tell him right now”

[Brittany:]  
“I know something about love” 

[Marley:]  
“You gotta show it and  
Make him see the moon up above”

[Brittany and Marley:]  
“Reach out and get him  
If you want him to be ([New Directions Girls:] Do, do)  
Always by your side  
If you want him to  
Only think of you”

[Brittany and Marley with New Directions Girls:]  
“Tell him that   
You're never gonna leave him  
Tell him that   
You're always gonna love him  
Tell him, tell him, tell him,   
Tell him right now”

[Brittany with New Directions Girls harmonizing:]  
“Ever since the world began   
It's been that way for man  
And women were created”

[Marley with New Directions Girls harmonizing:]  
“To make love their destiny  
Then why should true love be   
So complicated, oh, yeah!”

[Brittany and Marley with New Directions Girls:]  
“Tell him that   
You're never gonna leave him  
Tell him that   
You're always gonna love him  
Tell him, tell him, tell him,   
Tell him right now ([Marley:] Oh, you have to tell him now!)”

“Tell him that   
You're never gonna leave him ([Marley:] Oh, yeah!)  
Tell him that   
You're always gonna love him ([Marley:] Yeah!)  
Tell him, tell him, tell him,   
Tell him right now ([Marley:] Just take his hand in yours and tell him!)”

“Tell him, tell him, tell him,   
Tell him right now ([Marley:] Just take his hand in yours and tell him!)”

“Tell him, tell him, tell him,   
Tell him right now ([Marley:] Tell him right now!)”

“Jake! I mean, I mean Jake would you like to go to the Sadie Hawkins Dance with me?” Marley asks Jake

“Yes. Yes, I would.” Jake says

“Okay uh anyone else?” Finn asks

The day of the Sadie Hawkins Dance

“What’s up McKinley? We’ve got quite a set. We’d like to dedicate this song to all the strong, proud and empowered ladies who stuck their necks out to make this happen. This week, you showed us what it feels like to wait anxiously by the phone that never rings. The horror when all your friends get asked to the dance, and you don’t, and you have to sit there.” Artie says

“All right, cool. Thank you, Artie. This next one’s for all the powerful ladies out there.” Blaine says

[Artie:]  
“Ooh, yeah  
Uh!  
A Scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly  
And is also known as a buster  
Always talkin' about what he wants  
And just sits on his broke ass  
So”

[Blaine:]  
“([Blaine, Artie and The New Directions Boys:] No!)  
I don't want your number ([Blaine, Artie and The New Directions Boys:] No)  
I don't want to give you mine and ([Blaine, Artie and The New Directions Boys:] No)  
I don't want to meet you nowhere ([Blaine, Artie and The New Directions Boys:] No)  
I don't want none of your time and ([Blaine, Artie and The New Directions Boys:] No)”

[Artie and Blaine with The New Directions Boys:]  
“I don't want no scrub  
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me  
Hanging out the passenger side  
Of his best friend's ride  
Trying to holler at me  
I don't want no scrub  
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me  
Hanging out the passenger side  
Of his best friend's ride  
Trying to holler at me”

[Ryder:]  
“If you don't have a car and you're walking  
Oh yes son I'm talking to you ([Artie:] You)”

[Sam:]  
“If you live at home wit' your momma  
Oh yes son I'm talking to you ([Artie:] I'm talking to you baby)”

[Joe:]  
“If you have a shorty but you don't show love  
Oh yes son I'm talking to you”

[Artie:]  
“Wanna get with me with no money  
Oh, no, I don't want no”

[Blaine with New Directions Boys:]  
“No scrub  
No scrub  
No”

[Blaine and Sam with The New Directions Boys:]  
“I don't want no scrub  
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me ([Artie:] Get no love from me)  
Hanging out the passenger side  
Of his best friend's ride  
Trying to holler at me ([Artie:] Trying to holler at me)”

“I don't want no scrub  
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me ([Artie:] From me)  
Hanging out the passenger side  
Of his best friend's ride  
Trying to holler at me ([Artie:] Trying to holler at me)”

“I don't want no scrub  
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me”

“All right ladies grab your dates because it’s time for the slow dance.” Jude says before beginning to strum Earth Angel

“Earth angel, earth angel  
Will you be mine  
My darling dear, love you all the time  
I'm just a fool, a fool in love with you”

“Earth angel, earth angel  
The one I adore  
Love you forever, and ever more  
I'm just a fool, a fool in love with you”

“I fell for you and I knew  
The vision of your love, loveliness  
I hope and I pray that someday  
I'll be the vision of your happy, happiness”

“Oh earth angel, earth angel  
Please be mine  
My darling dear, love you all the time  
I'm just a fool, a fool in love with you”

“I fell for you and I knew  
The vision of your loveliness  
I hope and pray that someday  
I'll be the vision of your happiness”

“Earth angel, earth angel  
Please be mine  
My darling dear love you all the time  
I'm just a fool, a fool in love with you” as the song ends the crowd holler and whoop

“I think they want another one Jude.” Brittany says

“All right, another. This is a brilliant oldie. All right guys this is Blues riff in B. Watch me for the changes. And try and keep up.” Jude says playing Johnny B Goode

“Deep down in Louisiana close to New Orleans  
Way back up in the woods among the evergreens  
There stood a log cabin made of earth and wood  
Where lived a country boy named Johnny B. Goode  
Who never ever learned to read or write so well  
But he could play a guitar just like a-ringing a bell”

“Go go  
Go Johnny go!  
Go  
Go Johnny go!  
Go  
Go Johnny go!  
Go  
Go Johnny go!  
Go  
Johnny B. Goode!”

“He used to carry his guitar in a gunny sack  
Go sit beneath the tree by the railroad track  
Oh, the engineer would see him sittin' in the shade  
Strummin' with the rhythm that the drivers made  
The people passing by, they would stop and say  
"Oh my, but that little country boy could play"

“Go go  
Go Johnny go!  
Go  
Go Johnny go!  
Go  
Go Johnny go!  
Go  
Go Johnny go!  
Go  
Johnny B. Goode!”

“His mother told him, "Someday you will be a man,  
And you will be the leader of a big ol' band  
Many people comin' from miles around  
To hear you play your music when the sun go down  
Maybe someday your name'll be in lights  
Sayin' 'Johnny B. Goode tonight!'"

“Go go  
Go Johnny go!  
Go go go Johnny go!  
Go go go Johnny go!  
Go go go Johnny go!  
Go  
Johnny B. Goode!”

“That was awesome you know what would make the night more awesome is off you took me home right now and fucked me senseless.” Quinn whisper in Brittany as the song ends

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Brittany whispers

“Take me home.” Quinn whispers

“My pleasure.” Brittany says taking Quinn by the hand 

Once they eventually get through the door Quinn’s practically pulling Brittany up the stairs and dropped her dress leaving her in nothing but a thong. Brittany wolf whistled. “A thong. Hot.” She says her voice low and sexual

“Brittany I want you to eat me out.” Quinn whimpered

“Okay.” Brittany says getting down between Quinn’s legs and running her tongue over her clit just once teasingly

“I swear to god Brittany if you don’t eat me out I won’t fuck you. And I’ll get one of my toys.” Quinn says

“No.” Brittany says before sucking Quinn’s clit into her mouth she runs her tongue up and down Quinn’s pussy

“I’m gonna cum!” Quinn screams out as she feels her pussy tightens around Brittany’s tongue

“I’m gonna fuck you.” Brittany says 

Brittany feels Quinn cup her erection through her suit trousers and boxers before she pulls them both down and releases her erection from its clothed confines. She strokes it a couple of times before sinking her cock fully into Quinn’s pussy. “Oh god.” Quinn moans at the feeling of being filled

“Does daddy make you feel good?” Brittany asks

“Yes daddy.” Quinn moans. “Spank me daddy.” She begs

“I’ll spank you because you didn’t use you big girl words.” Brittany says pulling out and flipping Quinn on her front. “Now you have the keep count.” Brittany says as she pushes her cock into Quinn’s pussy and spanking her

“I’m gonna cum!” Quinn screams out as her pussy contracts and Brittany feels the abdomen tighten and she bottoms out inside Quinn’s pussy.

“Sleep tight baby.” Brittany says picking Quinn up and putting her in the bed and getting into the spooning position


	10. Naked

After it was discovered that the Warblers were indeed using steroids so the New Directions get to regionals

In the choir room

“All right, people, we are back! First of all, big props to Sam and Blaine for all their hard work to make this happen. But there’s no time to celebrate. We just lost three weeks of prep time for Regionals, and we still have to raise $400 to pay for the bus to get to the competition in Indianapolis.” Sing says

“It’s the Paris of Indiana.” Artie says

“I propose a bake sale. I mean I worked last time.” Finn says

That’s because Puck spiked them with Mary Jane.” Jude says

“I’d be willing to cut off my hair to sell for extra cash.” Joe says

“To who? Jamaican kids with Rastafarian cancer? Or as rigging on a haunted pirate ship?” Kitty says

“I could sell more of my semen.” Sam says

“This is silly. I know exactly how we’re gonna get the money. ‘The Men of McKinley’ calendar. Let’s face it this is the cutest crop of Glee boys we’ve ever had.” Tina syas

“That’s great. And it’s January, so it’s the perfect time to sell them.” Marley says

“There are six guys, so each one can take two months. I think Blaine should definitely be December. You can do Santa but sexy. Sexy Claus.” Tina says

“I mean as long as I can take my shirt off.” Sam says in a goofy voice

“Wait, heat does it have to be just the men? What can we objectify the girls, too?” Artie asks

“Cause girls are the ones that buy this stuff. Unless like Brittany you’re into girls. We’re responsible for the consumer driven economy. Those Twilight books are poop on paper, and we’ve turned them into a billion dollar industry.” Kitty says

“Team Jacob.” Unique says giving joe a high five which he half heartedly returns

“This could actually work. Tina you’re in charge. You can set up the photo shoot. Everyone else, pick your months and work your concepts.” Finn says

“Good job, Tina!” Brittany yells. “Hey what are doing after school today?” She asks Marley

“Um.” Marley says

In Brittany’s bedroom

“Welcome back to Fondue for Two. You may tonight’s guest only as the girl with the fat mom who ruined Sectionals for everybody. Please give it up for McKinley’s very own Marley Rose.” Brittany say. “So, Marley, is it true you spent six hours waiting in line to see the Hunger Games?” She asks

“I love those books.” Marley says

“So do you think you relate to the Hunger Games because you yourself are hungry?” Brittany asks

“When I was growing up my mom said I was a pet psychic.” Marley says deflecting the question

“That’s cool. So can you tell me what Lord Tubbington is thinking right now?” Brittany asks

“Yeah. I think he wants to lose some weight and he has an online gambling addiction.” Marley says

“Wrong. If you would’ve told me that Lord Tubbington is secretly a slum lord, I would’ve believed you.” Brittany says. “None of your high rises are upto code. Those family’s are living in squalor and they deserve better.” She says to Lord Tubbington.

“This is boiling hot!” Marley yells putting some cheese in her mouth

“Let’s talk about girls. Please admit to my viewing audience that you’re in love with Unique.” Brittany says

“That’s not true.” Marley says

“I’ve seen the way you look at each other. You should tell her.” Brittany says 

In Figgins office

“Sexy teen imbeciles. The S.A.T. scores are in, and you have manage to revive both the highest and lowest scores ever recorded at McKinley!” Figgins says

“Yes! I knew it. Secret genius.” Sam says

“Jude Constantine Sargeant and Brittany S. Pierce scored a near perfect 2340 on their exams.” Figgins says leaning forward

“Wait, what? How?” They both ask

“Yeah cause I’m dumber than a box of rocks.” Jude says

“Clearly they cheated.” Figgins says

No we didn’t cheat. I swear. All I did was I filled in ‘A’ for a while then ‘C’ for little bit and then ‘D’ and then I did ‘A’ again and then I used the dots to draw a clown and then a penis.” Brittany says

“Holy shit I did the same.” Jude says

“What where my scores?” Sam asks

“You got a 340 which in clinical trials is a score routinely bested by monkeys.” Figgins says

“Sam don’t worry okay? You don’t need to go to college like the rest of us. You have a really great body. You could be a personal trainer.” Brittany says

“You could be a greeter at Abercrombie.” Jude says

“You could be a greeter at Abercrombie’s corporate headquarters.” They both say

“Meanwhile our future looks bright. I’m gonna graduate. I’ll goto Harvard or ‘Princetown’ or ‘MITT’ or ‘Stanford and Son’ or the ‘University of California at Charles Barkley’s House,’ because evidently we’re two of the smartest people in America.” Brittany says

“Or MIT or Caltech.” Jude adds

In the choir room

[Ryder]  
“Years go by I'm lookin' through a girly magazine  
And there's my homeroom angel on the pages in-between”

[Sam, Ryder & Jake]  
“It's getting hot in here, ([Ryder:] So hot), so take off all your clothes, eh!”

[Tina & Ryder]  
“Angel is the centerfold  
Angel is the centerfold”

[Sam, Ryder & Jake]  
“It's getting hot in here, ([Ryder and Tina:] So hot), so take off all your clothes, eh!”

[Tina & Ryder]  
“Angel is the centerfold  
Angel is the centerfold”

[Tina]  
“Mix a little bit of Uh, uh  
With a little bit of Uh,”

[Jake]  
“Let it just fall out”

[Tina]  
“Give a little bit of Uh, uh  
With a little bit of Uh, uh”

[Jake]  
“Let it hang all out”

[Sam, Ryder & Jake]  
“Why you at the bar if you ain't popping the bottles? c'mon  
What good is all the fame if you ain't bumping the models  
I see you driving, sports cars, ain't hitting the throttle  
And I'll be down to do a hundred, top down and goggles  
Get off the freeway, exit 106 and "Park"ed it  
Ash tray, flip gate, time to spark it  
Gucci collar for dollar, got out and walked it  
I spit game cause baby I can't talk it”

[Ryder]  
“Warm and fuzzy sweaters  
Too magical to touch  
Too see her in that negligee  
Is really just too much”

[Sam, Ryder & Jake]  
“It's getting hot in here, ([Ryder:] So hot), so take off all your clothes, eh!”

[Tina & Ryder]  
“Angel is the centerfold  
Angel is the centerfold”

[Sam, Ryder & Jake]  
“It's getting hot in here, So hot, so take off all your clothes, eh!”

[Tina & Ryder]  
“Angel is the centerfold  
Angel is the centerfold”

[Sam & Tina]  
“Mix a little bit of Uh, uh  
With a little bit of Uh, uh”

[Jake]  
“Nelly just fall out”

[Sam & Tina]  
“Give a little bit of Uh, uh  
With a little bit of Uh, uh”

[Jake]  
“Let it hang all out”

[Sam & Tina (New Directions)]  
“With a little bit of  
And a sprinkle of that”

[Jake]  
“Nelly just fall out”

[Sam & Tina (New Directions)]  
“I like it when ya  
Girl, baby make it”

[Sam, Ryder & Jake (Tina)]  
“It's getting hot in here, (So hot), so take off all your clothes, eh!  
(I am, getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off)  
It's getting hot in here, (So hot), so take off all your clothes, eh!  
(I am, getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off)  
It's getting hot in here, (So hot), so take off all your clothes, eh!  
(I am, getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off)  
It's getting hot in here, (So hot), so take off all your clothes, eh!  
(I am, getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off)  
It's getting hot in here, (So hot), so take off all your clothes, eh!  
(I am, getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off)  
It's getting hot in here, (So hot), so take off all your clothes, eh!  
(I am, getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off)”

“You guys! That was amazing! We’re gonna make so much money!” Finn yells

“Quinn your buzzing.” Brittany says as Quinn finds on her as they make out

“Thanks.” Quinn says

“No really vibrating.” Brittany says

“What!” She snaps answering her phone

‘You were grinding on Brittany, weren’t you?’ Santana asks chuckling

“What do you want ‘Tana?” Quinn asks her voice soft now

‘Look I was calling to tell you that Rachel is going topless. I think I have it on lock but any suggestions.” Santana says

“The Two Rule.” Quinn says

‘Thanks Q I’ll let you get back to grinding.’ Santana says before hanging up

“Bye ‘Tana. I love you. I wish I could grind on you.” Quinn says before going back to making out with Brittany grinding on her erection

In the choir room

“Much as you blame yourself  
You can’t be blamed for the way that you feel  
Had no example of a love  
That was even remotely real  
How can you understand something that you never had  
If you let me I can help you out with all of that”

“Let me love you  
And I will love you  
Until you learn to love yourself.  
Let me love you  
I know your trouble  
Don’t be afraid, oh, I can help”

“Let me love you  
And I will love you  
Until you learn to love yourself.  
Let me love you  
A heart of numbness  
Gets brought to life  
I’ll take you there”

“I can see the pain behind your eyes  
It’s been there for quite awhile  
I just wanna be the one to remind you what it is to smile  
I would like to show you what true love can really do”

“Let me love you  
And I will love you  
Until you learn to love yourself.  
Let me love you  
I know your trouble  
Don’t be afraid, oh, I can help”

“Let me love you  
And I will love you  
Until you learn to love yourself.  
Let me love you  
A heart of numbness  
Is brought to life  
I’ll take you there”

“Let me love you  
And I will love you  
Until you learn to love yourself.  
Let me love you  
I know your trouble  
Don’t be afraid, oh, I can help”

Everyone claps and whops as Jake finishes singing. “That was awesome man. Absolutely a contender for Regionals.” Finn says

“Who was that song for?” Brittany asks with her usual bluntness

“That was for Marley.” Jake says

“Is there anything else you wanted to say to her?” Ryder asks

“I think the song pretty much said it.” Jake says

In the boys locker room

“Give me sexy liberty. Give me sexy freedom. Give me ‘I want you’ sexy. All right, August is up next.” Tina says. “Artie are you sure you don’t wanna pose?” She asks

“Oh, I’m happy posing with this bounce board over here.” Artie says

“Hey! Why don’t we do August with a few of the guys?” Tina suggests. “Blaine why don’t you jump in with Sam?” She suggests. “You’re looking particularly cute.” She says

“I’ll do it too.” Joe says

“No offence Joe but I don’t think you want to be in shot next to me. My washboards gonna make you look like a bloated white Bob Marley.” Sam says

“I’m as God made me dude.” Joe says

“Look the reality is that we probably should have just done a Sam Evans calendar.” Sam says

“Yes, and every month we could see you dressed as a different brand of jerkwad.” Artie says

“Guys we waited too long! I lost my pump. I need five minutes.” Sam says walk over and working on his pump

In Quinn’s room

“So how’d it go?” Quinn asks answering her phone

‘She walked out of it. Came home apologised and then we made many rounds of sweet tender passionate love including a round of butt stuff.’ Santana says

“Your insabaible.” Quinn says chuckling over the phone

‘Look I gotta go the plastic man's home and Rachel fell asleep nude on the couch.’ Santana says

“Bye baby.” Quinn says hanging up the phone

They made the four hundred bucks for the bus to regionals and then some

[Blaine:]  
“Another year you made a promise  
Another chance to turn it all around  
And do not save this for tomorrow  
Embrace the past and you can live for now  
And I will give the world to you”

[Marley and Jake:]  
“Speak louder than the words before you  
And give them meaning no one else has found”

[Artie and Sam:]  
“The role we play is so important”

[Ryder and Unique:]  
“We are the voices of the underground”

[Marley:]  
“And I will give the world to you”

[Brittany:]  
“Say everything you've always wanted”

[Sam:]  
“Be not afraid of who you really are”

[Jake and Marley:]  
“'Cause in the end we have each other  
And that's at least one thing worth living for”

[Jake:]  
“And I would give the world to you”

[Artie and Brittany:]  
“A million suns that shine upon me  
A million eyes you are the brightest blue  
Let's tear the walls down that divide us  
And build a statue strong enough for two”

[Jake:]  
“And pass it back to you”

[Ryder and Jake:]  
“And I will wait for you”

[Blaine and Sam:]  
“'Cause I would give the world  
And I would give the world”

[New Directions:]  
“And I would give the world to you”

[Unique:]  
“This is a New Year”

[Blaine with New Directions:]  
“This is the New Year  
A new beginning  
You made a promise  
You are the brightest  
We are the voices  
This is a New Year  
We are the voices  
This is a New Year”


	11. Diva

In the choir room

“Diva.” Miss Pilsbury says

“So now that we’re back in the game, we’ve got to come strong. Diva Week is all about finding your inner powerhouse. Miss Pilsbury.” Finn says

“That’s right. The Online Urban Dictionary defines a diva as an fierce, often temperamental singer who comes correct. She is not a trick ass ho and she does not sweat da haterz.’” Miss Pilsbury says

“Great so I guess the guys are screwed this week.” Jake says

“Um have you seen Elton John, David Bowie or Freddie Mercury? Guys and transgender people can be divas too.” Jude says

“That’s right we all have inner divas. I myself have been considered quite a diva at many local restaurant because I know what I want and I will send a dish back.” Miss Pilsbury says

“You all might as well just quit while you’re ahead because there are only two ways to spell Unique and one of them is D-I-V-A Diva. M’kay? Shanté, I stay, and it will be brought, dished out, and mopped up by the time you have even picked a wig. Looking at you, clocking that sadness.” Unique says

“I have more diva in my little finger than you have in your whole angry inch Wade Unique.” Tina says

“Guys and transgender people can be diva too. In fact I have more diva in my wedding ring than you do in your whole body Tina.” Jude says defending theirs and Blaine’s gender

“Tina you’ve kinda been talking down ridiculous trash for months, unchallenged, and it stops now.” Marley says

“Use that finger, use that snap.” Miss Pilsbury says

“Listen guys can be divas too.” Blaine says

“You guys I’m gonna win Dova Week.” Brittany says. “Do you know why?” She asks

“I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey)  
I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva  
I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva  
I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva”

“Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla...  
Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla…”

“Stop the track, lemme state facts:  
I told you, gimme a minute and I'll be right back  
Fifty million round the world and they say that I couldn't get it;  
I done got so sick and filthy with Benjis, I can't spend it  
How you gon' be talkin? You act like I just got up in it;  
Been the number one diva in this game for a minute!  
I know you read the paper - the one that they call a queen,  
Every radio round the world know me cause that's where I be”

“I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey)  
I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva  
I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva  
I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva”

“Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla...  
Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla…”

“Since 15 in my stilettos, been struttin in this game,  
"What's yo age? " That's the question they ask when I hit the stage  
I'm a diva, best believe her, you see how she gettin paid?;  
She ain't callin him to grade-up, don't need him, her best man”

“This is a stick-up, stick-up (I need them bags, all that money...)  
All my ladies get it up, I see you, I do the same;  
Take it to another level, no passengers on my plane…”

“I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey)  
I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva  
I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva  
I'm a, I'm a-a diva (hey), I'm a, I'm a-a diva”

“Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla...  
Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla…”

“And that is how I made the manager at the Cheesecake Factory cry by being a diva.” Miss Pilsbury says finishing the story none of them had been listening to

[Blaine:]  
“Tonight, I'm gonna have myself a real good time   
I feel alive and the world it's turning inside out, yeah!   
I'm floating around in ecstasy   
So”

[New Directions Boys:]  
“Don't stop me now, don't stop me”

[Blaine:]  
“'Cause I'm ([New Directions Boys:] having a good time having a good time)”

[Blaine:]  
“I'm a shooting star leaping through the skies   
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity   
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva   
I'm gonna go go go   
There's no stopping me”

“I'm burning through the skies, yeah!   
Two hundred degrees   
That's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit   
I'm traveling at the speed of light”

[Blaine:]  
“I wanna make a ([New Directions Boys:] supersonic man of you)  
If you wanna have a good time, just give me a call”

New Directions Boys:  
“Don't stop me now ([Blaine:] 'Cause I'm having a good time)   
Don't stop me now ([Blaine:] Yes, I'm having a good time)”

[Blaine:]  
“I don't want to stop at all, yeah!   
I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars   
On a collision course   
I am a satellite I'm out of control   
I am a sex machine ready to reload   
Like an atom bomb about to”

[Blaine with New Directions Boys:]  
“Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, explode”

[Blaine:]  
“I'm burning through the skies Yeah!   
Two hundred degrees   
That's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit   
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light”

[Blaine:]  
“I wanna make a ([New Directions Boys:] supersonic woman out of you)”

[New Directions Boys:]  
“Don't stop me, don't stop me, don't stop me ([Blaine:] Hey, hey, hey!)  
Don't stop me, don't stop me   
Oh, oh, oh ([Blaine:] I like it)   
Don't stop me”

[Blaine:]  
“have a good time good time” 

[New Directions Boys:]  
“Don't stop me, don't stop me”

[Blaine:]  
“([New Directions Boys:] Oh, oh,) alright “

[Blaine:]  
“Oh, burning through the skies, yeah!   
Two hundred degrees   
That's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit   
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light”

[Blaine:]  
“I wanna make a supersonic man of you”

[New Directions Boys:]  
“Don't stop me now”

[Blaine:]  
“I'm having such a good time, I'm having a ball”

[New Directions Boys:]  
“Don't stop me now”

[Blaine:]  
“If you wanna have a good time, just give me a call”

[New Directions Boys:]  
“Don't stop me now ([Blaine:] 'Cause I'm having a good time)   
Don't stop me now ([Blaine:] Yes I'm having a good time)”

[Blaine with New Directions Boys:]  
“I don't wanna stop at all”

“Uh Finn can we move to the auditorium? My diva is kinda of an expressionist piece.” Jude says

“Sure.” Finn says

In the auditorium

“I took a lot of work but I finally made Tiny Dancer for a 6 strong acoustic.” Jude says pulling on their worn old jean jacket the last remnant of their old life

“Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band  
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man  
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand  
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand”

“Jesus freaks out in the street  
Handing tickets out for God  
Turning back she just laughs  
The boulevard is not that bad”

“Piano man he makes his stand  
In the auditorium  
Looking on she sings the songs  
The words she knows the tune she hums”

“But oh how it feels so real  
Lying here with no one near  
Only you and you can hear me  
When I say softly slowly”

“Hold me closer tiny dancer  
Count the headlights on the highway  
Lay me down in sheets of linen  
You had a busy day today”

“Hold me closer tiny dancer  
Count the headlights on the highway  
Lay me down in sheets of linen  
You had a busy day today”

“Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band  
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man  
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand  
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand”

“But oh how it feels so real  
Lying here with no one near  
Only you and you can hear me  
When I say softly slowly”

“Hold me closer tiny dancer  
Count the headlights on the highway  
Lay me down in sheets of linen  
You had a busy day today”

“Hold me closer tiny dancer  
Count the headlights on the highway  
Lay me down in sheets of linen  
You had a busy day today”

“That was awesome, right?” Miss Pilsbury asks

“It took some work but I’d been working on it before diva week so I worked through the night to get it done and then consumed large amounts of caffeine .” Jude says putting their acoustic guitar down and wiping the sweat off their brow

“Let’s give it up for Elton John.” Finn says as every claps

In various parts of William McKinley High

“Time goes by so slowly  
Time goes by so slowly  
Time goes by so slowly  
Time goes by so slowly  
Time goes by so slowly  
Time goes by so slowly”

“Every little thing that you say or do  
I'm hung up  
I'm hung up on you  
Waiting for your call  
Baby night and day  
I'm fed up  
I'm tired of waiting on you”

“Time goes by so slowly for those who wait  
No time to hesitate  
Those who run seem to have all the fun  
I'm caught up  
I don't know what to do”

“Time goes by so slowly  
Time goes by so slowly  
Time goes by so slowly  
I don't know what to do”

“Every little thing that you say or do  
I'm hung up  
I'm hung up on you  
Waiting for your call  
Baby night and day  
I'm fed up  
I'm tired of waiting on you”

“Every little thing that you say or do  
I'm hung up  
I'm hung up on you”

“Waiting for your call  
Baby night and day  
I'm fed up  
I'm tired of waiting on you”

“Ring ring ring goes the telephone  
The lights are on but there's no-one home  
Tick tick tock it's a quarter to two  
And I'm done  
I'm hanging up on you”

“I can't keep on waiting for you  
I know that you're still hesitating  
Don't cry for me  
'cause I'll find my way  
you'll wake up one day  
but it'll be too late”

“Every little thing that you say or do  
I'm hung up  
I'm hung up on you  
Waiting for your call  
Baby night and day  
I'm fed up  
I'm tired of waiting on you”

“Every little thing that you say or do  
I'm hung up  
I'm hung up on you  
Waiting for your call  
Baby night and day  
I'm fed up  
I'm tired of waiting on you   
I'm tired of waiting on you  
I'm hung up on you”

Everyone is speechless at Tina's exemplary performance. “Don’t even worry about it.” Tina says

In the choir room

“Winning dinner for two at the Red Rooster Express Suite.” Miss Pilsbury says

“The First Annual William McKinley High School Diva Award goes to.” Finn says before giving a drum roll

“Tina Cohen-Chang!” They both yell as there’s exciting chatter

“She never wins anything.” Brittany says

In Quinn’s bedroom

“I can’t wait to see you girls next week for Mr. Shue’s wedding.” Santana says

“Yeah us either and Beth keeps saying she has a surprise for you.” Quinn says

“As long as it’s not the sex toy she found in Santana’s portion of the closet like la Dr time I’ll gladly accept anything.” Rachel says

“That was funny though.” Brittany says

“Oh big news I got an audition to be Fanny Brice in the revival.” Rachel says

“Oh my god. You’re so amazing and you’re definitely gonna be best.” Quinn says

“Well we should get packing and you shan’t get any until you're done packing.” Rachel says before ending the call


	12. I Do

“I missed you girls!” Brittany yells practically pulling Rachel out of the cab

“We missed you too. I’d like to breathe now babe.” Rachel says as Brittany let’s go

In the choir room

“Glee Club!” Mr Shue yells

“Mr Shue how was D.C.?” Artie asks

“D.C. was great but now I’m here to stay. And so, for my first order of business, I want to give a bag shout out to the guy who made sure I had something to come back to Mr. Finn Hudson. Now for this week's assignment.” Mr Shue says pulling out a marker

“I hope it’s Britney again.” Brittany says

“Miss Pilsbury and I are finally getting married. Which makes me the happiest, luckiest man alive. Now, Emma has done all the prep, so to help out I thought, I’d take charge of the entertainment for the reception. And although this goes against tradition, it would mean the world to me and to Emma if, instead of giving a best man's speech, Finn, you’d sing for us. What do you think?” Mr Shue asks

“Yeah of course.” Finn says

“Perfect.” Mr Shue says. “For everyone else who isn’t out with Asian Bird Flu.” Mr Shue says as everyone looks at Tina

“It wasn’t me.” Tina says

“It’s a Valentine’s Day wedding, which means, we need some great romantic love songs at the reception.” Mr Shue says

“Wait, you want us to be your wedding singers?” Tina asks. “That is so…” she says before Blaine cuts her off

“Awesome. We’d be honoured.” Blaine says

“Great. I have some great ideas.” Mr Shue says

At the chapel

“I hate weddings. It hasn’t even started and I’m bored.” Jude says as the six friends sit down

“I knew I wasn’t the only one.” Santana says

“Wanna play Tic Tac Toe in this notebook in my jacket pocket?” Jude asks

“You’re gonna lose.” Santana says as Jude clicks the pen and they stop focusing on Mr Shue but they do when Coach Sylvester walks down the aisle and Jude drops the pen to the floor with a thud. 

“Holy shit.” They all say looking at Coach Sue

“Like there are more subtle ways to gatecrash a wedding.” Jude says

At the reception

“Come on let’s dance.” Jude says dropping their snow dusted coat on the back of a chair and going off to dance

[Blaine:]  
“When I'm with you baby  
I go out of my head  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough”

[Kurt:]  
“All the things you do to me  
And everything you said  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough”

[Blaine and Kurt:]  
“We slip and slide as we fall in love  
And I just can't seem to get enough of”

[Blaine:]  
“We walk together  
We're walking down the street”

[Blaine and Kurt:]  
“I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough”

[Kurt:]  
“Everytime I think of you  
I know we have to meet”

[Blaine and Kurt:]  
“I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough”

[Blaine:]  
“And when it rains  
You're shining down for me”

[Blaine and Kurt:]  
“I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough”

“Just like a rainbow  
You know you set me free  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough”

“You're like an angel and you give me your love  
And I just can't seem to get enough of”

[Blaine and Kurt:]  
“I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough  
I just can't get enough”

“It's getting hotter, it's a burning love  
And I just can't seem to get enough of”

“All right, all right. Enough with the sappy crap time to bring the rock and roll back to love.” Jude syas as a synth keyboard kicks in

[Jude (Fynn)]  
“You just can't stand the way that I walked out from the wreckage  
Can't understand the way that I turned myself around  
I tried to terminate this war  
With you  
But you won't let it go  
You keep coming back for more”

“Freedom  
I'm takin' it back  
I'm outta here, no turnin' back  
In a baby blue Cadillac  
Just when I was stallin'  
I heard an angel callin'”

“This is your life  
You can go anywhere  
You gotta grab the wheel and own it  
And drive it like you stole it  
Roll it  
This is your life  
You can be anything  
You gotta learn to rock and roll it  
You gotta put the pedal down  
And drive it like you stole it  
And drive it like you stole it”

“We get stuck in the dirt  
And we can't see where we're going  
We face all kinds of hurt  
And the friction slows us down  
But I won't be waiting here for the world to win me gold  
And I'll leave your dust behind me  
Stranded in the road”

“Freedom  
I'm takin' it back  
Attitude  
I'm givin' it back  
In a baby blue Cadillac  
Just when I was stallin'  
I heard an angel callin'”

“This is your life  
You can go anywhere  
You gotta grab the wheel and own it  
You gotta put the pedal down  
And drive it like you stole it”

“This is your life  
You can go anywhere  
You gotta grab the wheel and own it  
And drive it like you stole it  
Roll it”

Jude plays a rocking guitar solo before the crowd claps along with Fynn’s drum beat

“This is your life  
You can be anything  
You gotta learn to rock and roll it  
You gotta put the pedal down  
And drive it like you stole it  
(Hoo, hoo, hoo-ooh-ooh)  
And drive it like you stole it  
(Hoo, hoo, hoo-ooh-ooh)  
And drive it like you stole it  
(Hoo, hoo, hoo-ooh-ooh)  
And drive it like you stole it  
(Hoo, hoo, hoo-ooh-ooh)”

Sue walks on stage and snaps her fingers leading to a spotlight shining on her. “Today is the day we honour Saint Valentine, a man publicly beheaded for defying his government, by exchanging candies and chocolates to nonsensically render the objects of our affection more fat and less attractive. And in other nonsensical traditions, Emma left behind her bouquets she fled the scene, leaving it to somebody else to toss these soon to be dead flower under the mythical belief that whoever catches them will magically become the next person to get married, or, more than likely to sprint from the altar. So gather round single ladies, and allow me to be the one to enable your false dreams and ridiculous expectations.” Sue says tossing it into the crowd to have it split in half when the twine breaks half landing in Quinn’s hands the other half in Rachel’s

“One day.” Santana and Brittany both say rolling their eyes.

“I can’t believe our luck.” Santana says to Brittany who nods

“Can we go to bed now?” Quinn asks

“Only if that means what I think it means.” Brittany says winking at Quinn

“You literally got laid three weeks ago.” Quinn says

“I’m horny and it’s not that often we’re all in the same place and I never get to smash Rachel.” Brittany says

“I could go for some sex.” Santana says

They finally get into their room and Quinn and Rachel slowly undo their dress and remove their underwear as Santana and Brittany take their suits and fold them up on the table. “I’m gonna fuck Rach so hard she won’t be able to walk in the morning.” Brittany says 

“Then make good on that promise.” Rachel says giving Brittany a searing kiss

Brittany picks up the petite brunette and dropping her on the bed and pumping her erection then running her fingers up and down Rachel’s pussy. “Britt-Britt stop teasing me.” Rachel whines

“Okay then.” Brittany says sinking her cock fully into Rachel and pumping in and out building an increased rhythm and feeling Rachel tighten around her cock. Brittany bottoms out in Rachel. 

“Oh wow!” Rachel moans out in a post orgasmic bliss

“So when do you girls leave?” Quinn asks

“Two days time.” Santana says

“Then we’ll make the most of the last two days.” Quinn says stroking Santana’s hair out of her eyes

In the auditorium

[Marley:]  
“Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,  
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,  
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,  
Ee, ee-ee, ee, ee-ee.”

“Stripped to the waist,  
We fall into the river.  
Cover your eyes,  
So you don't know the secret.  
I've been trying to hide,”

[Marley and New Direction girls:]  
“We held our breath,  
To see our names are written.”

“On the wreck of '86,  
That was the year,  
I knew the panic was over.”

[Marley:]  
“Yeah, since we found out,  
Since we found out,”

[Marley and ND girls:]  
“That anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,   
Anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,  
Anything could…”

[ND girls:]  
“Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee-ee, ee,   
Ee-ee, (ee-ee).”

“Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee-ee, ee, (ee-ee).”

[Artie:]  
“After the war,  
We said we'd fight together.  
I guess we thought,  
That's just what humans do.  
Letting darkness grow,  
As if we need it's palette,  
And we need it's colour.”

But now I've seen it through,  
“And now I know the truth.”

[Artie and New Directions girls:]  
“That anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,  
Anything could…”

[ND girls:]  
“Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee-ee, ee,   
Ee-ee, (ee-ee).”

“Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee.”

[Jake:]  
“Baby, I'll give you everything you need,  
I'll give you everything you need, oh,  
I'll give you everything you need,  
But I don't think I need you.”

[Marley:]  
“Stripped to the waist,  
We fall into the river.  
Cover your eyes,   
So you don't know the secret.  
I've been trying to hide.”

[Marley and ND girls:]  
“We held our breath,  
To see our names are written.  
On the wreck of '86,  
That was the year,  
I knew the panic was over.”

[Marley:]  
“Yeah, since we found out,  
Since we found out.”

[Marley and ND girls:]  
“That anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,  
Anything could happen,  
Anything could…”

[New Directions:]  
“I know it's gonna be,  
I know it's gonna be,  
I know it's gonna be,  
I know it's gonna be,  
I know it's gonna be,  
I know it's gonna be,  
I know it's gonna be,  
I know it's gonna be.”

[Marley:]  
“Oh yeah.”

[New Directions:]  
“Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee-ee, ee,”

[Marley and ND girls:]  
“But I don't think I need you.  
Ee-ee, (ee-ee).  
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee-ee, ee,”

“But I don't think I need you.  
Ee-ee, (ee-ee).  
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee-ee, ee,”

“But I don't think I need you.  
Ee-ee, (ee-ee).  
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee, ee, ee-ee,   
Ee, ee-ee, ee”


	13. Girls (and Boys) on Film

“Everybody loves movies. They don’t just tell stories they transport us to other worlds. They are inspirational. They provide comfort, and they help us escape from our day to day anxieties.” Mr Shue says

“Like getting left at the altar?” Kitty says

“Too soon.” Jude says shaking their head

“Exactly. Or your guys case studying for exams or worrying about Regionals.” Mr Shue says

“Coming to terms with your gender.” Jude adds

“In any case, for this week’s assignment I want you to pick your songs from your favourite movies.” Mr Shue says

“Unique knows all there is to know about The Crying Games.” She says

“Jude knows all there is to know about Princes of the Universe.” They say

“You don’t get dibs on Les Mis just because you are the poster.” Kitty says

“Finally I can do my Nicolas Cage impression. ‘Oh, not the bees! No! The bees! No!’.” Sam says impersonating Nicolas Cage

“That was the worst Nicolas Cage impression I’ve ever seen.” Kitty says

“Do you even know who Nicolas Cage is?” Artie asks

“Okay it’s not that simple guys. This is a group competition. Boys vs girl vs Jude and anyone Jude needs to include for what I assume is gonna be Princes of the Universe. And you have a choice of mashup. Now remember movies are visual. So it’s not just about the singing, it's about the performance, it’s about theatricality, it’s the language of cinema.” Mr Shue says

“Preach. And as I move into production on my first micro budget feature I’m happy to offer the winning team starring roles.” Artie says

“Okay everyone split up and start working on your song choices.” Mr Shue says

“Brittany I need your help.” Jude says

“What’s up?” Brittany asks

“I want you to be my partner for my assignment. I'm gonna be Connor MacLeod and I need you to be The Kurgan.” Jude says

“Who?” Brittany says looking at Jude confused

“The bad guy in The first Highlander film.” Jude says

“I’ll do it.” Brittany says

“Guys Brittany Jude and I were just talking.” Blaine says

“And we agreed that though we love that it’s mashup week and boys vs girls vs Jude week.” Brittany says

“It sucks that we can’t all do a number together. So we were thinking we should do the guys vs girls vs me in the same number to kick things off. And then Brittany and I are gonna kick your ass.” Jude says

“Or the girls will beat the boys and Jude.” Marley says

“Or vice versa.” Blaine says

“Which is my favourite Fred Savage movie.” Brittany says

“Well it'd have to be the perfect movie song you like uh… ‘Dream Warriors’ from Nightmare on Elm Street 3.” Sam says

“Yeah or a good song like ‘Let the River Run’ from Working Girl” Tina says

“Hey don’t hate on The Nightmare series love those movies.” Jude says

“Or ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ from Beaches.” Marley says

“No, no, no, no. How about this the perfect movie song, totally iconic and everybody loves it, a little ditty from the seminal American college comedy Animal House.” Blaine says giving a thumbs up

[Blaine]  
“We-eee-eeel....  
You know you make me wanna (Shout!)  
Kick my heels up and (Shout!)  
Throw my hands up and (Shout!)  
Throw my head back and (Shout!)”

[Brittany]  
“Come on now (Shout!)  
Don't forget to say you will  
Don't forget to say, yeah  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah  
(Say you will)”

[Blaine]  
“Say it right now bab-ay  
(Say you will)  
Come on, come on  
(Say you will)  
Say it, will-a you-ooooo!  
(Say you will)  
You got it, now!  
(Say) say that you love me  
(Say) say that you need me  
(Say) say that you want me  
(Say) you wanna please me  
(Say) come on now  
(Say) come on now  
(Say) come on now  
(Say) come on now”

[Brittany]  
“(Say) I still remember  
(Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop-wop-wop-wop)  
When you used to be nine years old  
(Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop-wop-wop-wop)”

[Blaine]  
“Yeah-yeah!  
I was a fool for you, from the bottom of my soul, yeah!  
(Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop-wop-wop-wop)”

[Blaine]  
“I want you to know ([Brittany:] I wanna know)  
I said I want you to know right now, yeah! ([Brittany:] I want to know)  
You been good to me baby ([Brittany:] Good to me baby)  
I said I want you to know ([Brittany:] I want to know)  
I said I want you to know right now ([Brittany:] I want to know)  
You know you make me wanna”

[Brittany]  
“(Shout-wooo) lift my head up and”

[Blaine]  
“(Shout-wooo) come on now”

[Brittany]  
“(Shout-wooo) come on now”

[Blaine]  
“(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now  
(Shout) a little bit softer now”

[Brittany]  
“(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout)  
Hey-Hey-A-Hey  
(Hey-Hey-A-Hey)  
Hey-A-Hey-A  
(Hey-A-Hey-A)  
Hey-A-Hey-A)  
(Hey-A-Hey-A)  
Hey-A-A-Hey)  
(Hey-A-A-Hey)”

[All]  
“(Hey-A-Hey-A)  
(Hey-A-Hey-A)  
Hey-A-A-Hey)  
(Hey-A-A-Hey)”

[Blaine]  
“(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now  
(Shout) a little bit louder now”

[Brittany]  
“Jump up and shout now (wooo)”

[Blaine]  
“Jump up and shout now (wooo)”

[Brittany]  
“Jump up and shout now (wooo)”

[Blaine]  
“Jump up and shout now (wooo)”

[All]  
“Jump up and shout now (wooo)  
Jump up and shout now (wooo)  
Jump up and shout now (wooo  
Jump, jump, jump, jump and shout!  
Jump, jump, jump, jump and shout!  
Jump, jump, jump, jump and shout!  
Jump, jump, jump, jump and shout!  
SHOUT!”

[Blaine]  
“Yeeeaaahhhh!”

“I realise this number wasn’t in the competition, but you do realise it’s not even a mash up right?” Artie syas

“Ah but Mr Shue said mashups were optional.” Jude says

In the choir room

“I hope to mash up ‘Batdance’ with ‘Howard the Duck’.” Sugar says as the girls and Jude shush her

[Blaine:]  
“Revvin' up your engines  
Listen to the howlin' roar  
Metal under tension  
Begging you to touch and go”

[Blaine & New Direction Guys:]  
“Highway to the danger zone  
Right into the danger zone”

[Sam (With New Direction Guys):]  
“Still like that old time (Rock n' roll)  
That kind of music just (Soothes the soul)  
I reminisce about the (Days of old)  
With that old time (Rock n' roll)  
Oh Ohh”

[Blaine:]  
“Heading into twilight  
Spreading out her wings tonight ([New Direction Guys:] Old time rock n' roll)  
She got you jumping off the deck  
And shoving into overdrive ([New Direction Guys:] I like that old time rock n' roll)”

[Blaine & New Direction Guys:]  
“Highway to the danger zone (Rock n' roll)  
Right into the danger zone”

[Sam (With New Direction Guys):]  
“Still like that old time (Rock n' roll)  
That kind of music just (Soothes the soul)  
I reminisce about the (Days of old)  
With that old time (Rock n' roll)”

“Still like that old time (Rock n' roll)  
That kind of music just (Soothes the soul)  
I reminisce about the (Days of old)  
With that old time (Rock n' roll)”

“Still like that old time (Rock n' roll)  
That kind of music just (Soothes the soul)  
I reminisce about the (Days of old)  
With that old time (Rock n' roll)  
I'll take right to the rock n' roll”

“Wow! Wow. Okay. That was awesome. Where’d you come up with inspiration for that?” Finn asks

“Well it’s our tribute to the early macho cinema of one Mr. Tom Cruise.” Artie says

“You can’t handle the truth.” Joe says 

“That’s actually Jack Nicholson not Tom Cruise.” Jake says

“Next we have the Highlanders give a warm hand for Jude and Brittany.” Mr Shue says as the two perform they sword fight ending with Jude victorious over Brittany

[Jude]  
“Here we are.  
Born to be kings.  
We're the princes of the universe.”

[Brittany]  
“Here we belong.  
Fighting to survive in a war with the darkest powers.”

[Both]  
“And here we are.  
We're the princes of the universe.  
Here we belong,  
Fighting for survival.  
We've come to be the rulers of your world.”

“I am immortal.  
I have inside me blood of kings.  
I have no rival.  
No man can be my equal.  
Take me to the future of your world”.

[Jude]  
“Born to be kings.  
Princes of the universe.  
Fighting and free.  
Got your world in my hand.  
I'm here for your love and I'll make my stand.  
We were born to be princes of the universe.”

[Brittany]  
“No man could understand.  
My power is in my own hand.  
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.  
People talk about you.  
People say you've had your day.”

[Jude]  
“I'm a man that will go far.  
Fly the moon and reach for the stars,  
With my sword and head held high.  
Got to pass the test first time.”

“I know that people talk about me.  
I hear it every day,  
But I can prove you wrong  
'Cause I'm right first time.”

[Brittany]  
“Alright, let's go, let's go, ha, ha.  
Watch this man fly.  
Bring on the girls.  
Come on, come on, come on.”

[Jude (Brittany)]  
“Here we are. (Here we are!)  
Born to be kings.  
We're the princes of the universe.  
Here we belong.”

[Both]  
“Born to be kings.  
Princes of the universe.  
Fighting and free.  
Got your world in my hand.  
I'm here for your love and I'll make my stand.  
We were born to be princes of the universe.”

“Okay that was awesome. But I don’t understand.” Jake says

“Well the film is about these immortal people who are forced to battle to the death but they can only be killed by having their head severed they are all battling for ‘The Prize’ I’m Connor MacLeod and Brittany is the Kurgan and they have a fight to the death over the girl Connor falls in love with and Princes of the Universe was the title track from the Queen album A Kind of Magic.” Jude says explaining his theme

“And the swords?” Mr Shue asks

“Replicas are dull and carried by Highlanders at all times in case they get attacked by another immortal.” Jude says

“Girls you’re up.” Mr Shue says

[Unique (with New Directions Girls):]  
“The French are glad to die for love...  
A kiss on the hand may be quite continental,  
But diamonds are a (girl's best friend).”

[Marley with New Directions Girls harmonizing:]  
“A kiss may be grand, but it won't pay the rental”

[Marley:]  
“On your humble flat, or help you feed your, meow! Pussy cat.”

[Marley and Unique with New Direction Girls:]  
“Men grow cold as girls grow old,”

[Marley:]  
“And we all lose our charms in the end.”

[Marley and Unique with New Directions Girls:]  
“But square-cut or pear-shaped,  
These rocks don't lose their shape.  
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.”

[Marley:]  
“Tiffany!”

[Unique:]  
“Cartier…”

[Unique with New Directions Girls:]  
“'Cause we are living in a material world  
And I am a material girl”

[Marley:]  
“Mwah ah”

[Unique:]  
“Come and get me, boys”

[Marley:]  
“Ow!”

[Unique:]  
“Hey! Uh-huh!”

[Marley:]  
“Black Star,”

[Marley and Unique:]  
“Ross Cole  
Talk to me, Harry Zilder, tell me all about it!”

[Unique (New Directions Girls):]  
“There (Best friend's) may come a time when (Best friend's) a lass needs a lawyer”

[Unique with New Directions Girls (New Directions Girls):]  
“But (Best friend's) diamonds are a girl's (They are best friend's) best friend”

[Marley (New Directions Girls):]  
“There may (Best friend's) come a time when a (Best friend's) hard-boiled employer thinks you're…”

[Marley with New Directions Girls (New Directions Girls):]  
“Awful nice! (Best friend's, they are)”

[Marley and Unique:]  
“Ow!  
But get that ice or else no dice!”

[Unique with New Directions Girls:]  
“He's your guy when stocks are high  
But beware when they start to descend”

[Marley and Unique (New Direction's Girls):]  
“(Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa) Diamonds are a girl's best,  
Diamonds are a girl's best,  
Diamonds are a girl's best friend!”

[New Directions Girls (Marley):]  
“Best friend's ([Unique:] Let's make love)  
They are best friend's (Yes)  
Best friend's ([Unique:] Yes)  
They are best friend's ([Unique:] Come on!) (Oh, oh, yes)  
Best friend's (Tiger!)  
They are best friend's ([Unique:] Roar, roar!) (Roar, roar!)  
Best friend's ([Unique:] Ole!)  
They are best friend's (Everything's going so well!)”

[Unique:]  
“Ow!”

[Marley and Unique with New Directions Girls (New Directions Girls):]  
“'Cause that's when those louses go back to their spouses!  
Diamonds are a girl's (Diamonds are a girl's best)  
best (Diamonds are a girl's best)”

[Marley and Unique:]  
“Friend! ([Unique:] Whoa, oh, ooh!)”

“Wow come on you guys. Let’s hear it for the girls. How about that?” Finn says

[Will:]  
“Love I get so lost, sometimes  
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart  
When I want to run away  
I drive off in my car  
But whichever way I go  
I come back to the place you are”

“All my instincts, they return  
And the grand facade, so soon will burn  
Without a noise, without my pride  
I reach out from the inside”

[Will (New Directions):]  
“(In your eyes)  
The light the heat  
(In your eyes)  
I am complete  
(In your eyes)  
I see the doorway to a thousand churches  
(In your eyes)  
The resolution of all the fruitless searches  
(In your eyes)  
I see the light and the heat  
(In your eyes)  
Oh, I want to be that complete  
I want to touch the light  
the heat I see in your eyes  
(In your eyes  
In your eyes  
In your eyes)  
In your eyes  
(In your eyes)”

“Will, are you crazy?” Miss Pilsbury asks

“Crazy for you. But that’s Vision Quest and Matthew Modine skipping rope isn’t nearly as romantic as John Cusack holding a boombox. Please get down here so I can tell you how much I love you and how I’m never gonna let you go. Guys.” Mr Shue says

“Oh yeah.” Blaine says

“You can take off now.” Mr Shue says as they all leave

In the choir room

“Girls rule as usual.” Tina says

“And Brittany and I should win for our sweet sword skill.” Jude says

“No we should win for these sweet glasses alone.” Sam says

“Ladies, gentlemen and Jude, the time has come for the announcement of this year’s mash off winner.” Mr Shue says

“Who of course will be starting in my senior film project Hollywood Hootenanny, a tribute to dance on film.” Artie syas

“And the winner is … everyone.” Mr Shue says everyone starts arguing about who really won and demanding a true winner

“Calm down yall. Calm down. After exhaustive storyboarding and pre production. I realised I need a lot of talented bodies to make this film great. So choosing one winner would simply be impossible.” Artie says

“That is exactly right. Uh Finn can I talk to you in the hallway for a sec?” Mr Shue asks

“Hey guys I think we should do one last movie number.” Jude says

“What though?” Sam asks

“Footloose.” Jude says

[Sam:]  
“I've been working so hard  
I'm punching my card  
Eight hours for what?  
Oh, tell me what I got  
I've got this feeling  
That times are holding me down  
I'll hit the ceiling  
Or else I'll tear up this town”

[Sam with New Directions:]  
“Now I gotta cut loose, Footloose  
Kick off the Sunday shoes  
Please, Louise, pull me off of my knees  
Jack, get Mack, come on before we crack  
Lose your blues, everybody cut footloose”

[New Directions:]  
“Ooooh-oh-oh  
(Cut footloose)  
Yeah, ooooh-oh-oh  
(Cut footloose)  
Yeah, ooooh-oh-oh  
(Cut footloose)  
Oooooooooh”

[Artie with New Directions:]  
“You've got to turn me around  
And put your feet on the ground  
Gotta take the hold of all”

[Artie:]  
“I'm turning it loose!”

[Joe with New Directions:]  
“Footloose, kick off the Sunday shoes  
Please, Louise, pull me off of my knees  
Jack, get Mack, come on before we crack  
Lose your blues, everybody cut footloose  
(Footloose)”

[Sam, Joe & Artie with New Direction:]  
“Footloose  
Kick off the Sunday shoes  
Please, Louise, pull me off of my knees  
Jack, get Mack, come on before we crack  
Lose your blues, “

[Joe & Sam (New Directions):]  
“Everybody cut, everybody cut  
Everybody cut, everybody cut  
Everybody cut, everybody cut  
(Everybody) Everybody cut footloose”

[New Directions:]  
“Footloose”

“Best movie ever!” Jude yells as they finish


	14. Guilty Pleasures

“Why are we here? I thought Mr. Shue was sick.” Kitty says

“Yeah why are we here?” Tina asks

“I was wondering the same thing.” Unique says

“Oh come on guys. Regionals is only a few weeks away. Even without an advisor we can’t afford to miss a week of preparation.” Blaine says

“Which is why Blaine and I asked you here. We have come up with an assignment of our own.” Sam says

“Please be songs about sweaters.” Brittany says

“Guilty pleasure. Come on! We all have musical shame. You know what I’m talking about. You know that secret love we dare not speak, but when it comes on the radio you can but turn it up and sing along?” Blaine says

“Yeah and we’re supposed to sing one fo those songs for Regionals?” Ryder asks

“No uh Sam and I were speaking earlier, just, like, shooting the crap like two bro’s do, you know, and we felt really safe with each other. So we decide to reveal our guilty pleasures.” Blaine says

“And it felt amazing. I mean letting go of this big secret made me feel so good.” Sam says

“And we figured if we could share musical shame with each other, we could all become a more cohesive team at Regionals.” Blaine says

“Unique knows no shame baby.” She says

“So, besides Unique, does anybody else have something they would like to share? Come on guys, this is a great team building exercise.” Sam says

“Okay, well, you guys go first.” Jake says

“We thought instead of telling you we could show you.” Sam says they pull off their jackets to reveal a T-shirts that say ‘Choose Life’

“[Blaine (with Sam and New Directions):]  
You put the boom-boom into my heart ([Sam and New Directions:] Do, do!)  
You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts  
A jitterbug into my brain ([Sam and New Directions:] Yeah, yeah!)  
It goes a (bang-bang-bang) 'til my feet do the same”

[(Blaine and New Directions) Sam:]  
“(Ah, ah) But something's bugging me  
(Ah, ah) Something ain't right  
(Ah, ah) My best friend told me  
(Ah, ah) what you did last night  
(Ah, ah) You left me sleeping  
(Ah, ah) in my bed  
(Ah, ah) I was dreaming, but”

[Sam with Blaine and New Directions:]  
“I should have been with you instead”

[Blaine and Sam with New Directions:]  
“Wake me up before you go-go  
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo  
Wake me up before you go-go  
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high  
Wake me up before you go-go  
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo  
Wake me up before you go-go whoa”

[Blaine and Sam:]  
“Take me dancing tonight  
I wanna hit that high yeah, yeah”

[Blaine and Sam:]  
“Take me dancing tonight”

[Sam with New Directions:]  
“I wanna hit that high ([Blaine:] yeah, yeah)”

[Sam and Blaine with New Directions:]  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah baby! ([Blaine:] Who!)”

[Sam:]  
“Jitterbug”

[Blaine and Sam:]  
“Cuddle up, baby, move in tight  
We'll go dancing tomorrow night  
It's cold out there, but it's warm in bed  
They can dance, we'll stay home instead ([Blaine:] Yeah-yeah)”

[Sam with New Directions:]  
“Wake me up before you go-go, ([Blaine:] Don't you dare)  
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo ([Blaine:] To leave me hanging on like a yo-yo)  
Wake me up before you go-go  
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high ([Blaine:] take me dancing, I wanna go, go, go)  
Wake me up before you go-go ([Blaine:] Oh!)  
Cause I'm not planning on going solo ([Blaine:] I wanna go, go, go)  
Wake me up before you go-go ([Blaine:] go,go, go,go,go)  
Take me dancing tonight”

[New Directions:]  
“Wake me up before you go-go ([Blaine:] yeah)  
Cause I'm not planning on going solo ([Sam:] yeah-yeah)  
Wake me up before you go-go ([Blaine:] yeah)  
Take me dancing tonight ([Blaine:] Ooh)”

[Sam and Blaine with New Directions:]  
“Wake me up!”

“Guess what?” Brittany says

“Hi.” Kitty says

“Everyone hates you.” Brittany says 

“Excuse me?” Kitty says

“Maybe that’s why nobody wants to work with you.” Brittany says

“I’m trying to change, but my pastor says even Jesus took baby steps.” Kitty says

“Do you go to the church of Satan? Because you’re really mean. You tell Marley she’s fat even though your face looks like a soccer ball, and we know that blondes have magical powers, like doing the splits or turning Swedish. You need to use your magical powers for good and not evil. And that is why I’m inviting you to take off your Joker mask and bare your soul for the world to see.” Brittany syas

“What I’m God’s good earth are you talking about?” Kitty asks

“Tonight’s guest is McKinley High’s biggest bitch, the girl with the weird lizard ears, Kitty.” Brittany says

“Two things: that cat has about three weeks left to live and this fondue smells like hot acrid barf.” Kitty syas

“Thank you so much. So, Kitty, everyone at school hates you because you’re a two faced lying slut who no one can trust.” Brittany says

“True. And yet everyone seems to keep telling me their secrets, so I must be doing something right.” Kitty says

“Touché. I think the problem is that people haven't gotten to know you yet. So tonight, you, me and Lord Tubbington are gonna tell our deepest darkest secrets. You tell me your guilty pleasures and I’ll tell you mine. Go.” Brittany says

“Guilty pleasure?” Kitty says

“Mm.” Brittany says

“I like to fart around old people and watch the look on their faces ‘cause they assume they did it.” Kitty says

“That’s awesome. Me too. Okay, guilty pleasure. When I look at a white dog or cat, I assume they are racist. Lord Tubbington’s guilty pleasure is Scientology. Guilty pleasure. Bring it on.” Brittany says

“Guilty pleasure. Bring it on again.” Kitty says

“Guilty pleasure. Bring it on all or nothing.” Brittany says

“Bring it on, in it to win it.” Kitty says

“Bring it on fight to the finish.” Brittany says

“That ones horrible. There’s no way you could like that.” Kitty say

“Guilty pleasure!” Brittany yells

“No, I can’t say.” Kitty says

“No you can’t do that. Come on this is a safe space. We’re on the internet.” Brittany says

“No. No. It’s too horrible.” Kitty says

“Can you whisper it in my ear?” Brittany asks and Kitty whispers something in Brittany’s ear. “Oh my God.” She says

In the hallway

“Stop! As loyal fans of Fondue for Two, we demand to know what your guilty pleasure is.” Tina says

“I know. Cause Brittany moaned it during sexy times and I thought it wa some weird roleplay shit.” Quinn says

“For the record I’m not into roleplay or at least I don’t think I am.” Brittany says

“Tells us.” Marley says

“None of your business.” Kitty says

“It’s the Spice Girls.” Brittany and Quinn say quietly

“I love the Spice Girls!” Marley yells

“Okay keep it down. People are staring.” Kitty says

“When I was little I had the Spice Girls movie on a loop.” Tina says

“I used to make their clothes out of my grandmothers sheet. I dreamed I was one of them. We must do the Spice Girls. It has to be done! And this fierce black woman will be Scary spice.” Unique says

“Nothing scarier than a girl with a penis. Kidding.” Kitty says

In the choir room

“I love Barry Manilow. I mean, not just, you know, the Barry Manilow Love on Ice Tour, but I think he’s an amazing songwriter and performer, and I also believe he’s underappreciated, has amazing hair, and has done a hell of a lot for this world through his light rock talent. This is who I am and I make no apologies.” Sam says

[Sam:]  
“Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl  
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there  
She would merengue and do the cha-cha  
And while she tried to be a star  
Tony always tended bar  
Across the crowded floor, they worked from 8 til 4  
They were young and they had each other  
Who could ask for more?”

[Chorus: Sam (Glee Members)]  
“At the copa (Copa) Copacabana (Copacabana)  
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)  
At the copa (Copa) Copacabana (Copacabana)  
Music and passion were always the fashion  
At the copa.... they fell in love”

[Sam:]  
“His name was Rico  
He wore a diamond  
He was escorted to his chair, he saw Lola dancing there  
And when she finished,he called her over  
But Rico went a bit to far  
Tony sailed across the bar  
And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two  
There was blood and a single gun shot  
But just who shot who?”

[Chorus: Sam (Glee Members)]  
“At the copa (Copa) Copacabana (Copacabana)  
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)  
At the copa (Copa) Copacabana (Copacabana)  
Music and passion were always the fashion  
At the copa... she lost her love”

[Glee Club Choir:]  
“Copa… Copacabana  
Copa… Copacabana   
Copacabana  
Music and Passion  
Always in fashion…  
Ooooh”

[Chorus: Sam (Glee Members)]  
At the copa (Copa) Copacabana (Copacabana)  
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)  
At the copa (Copa) Copacabana (Copacabana)  
Music and passion were always the fashion  
At the copa... don't fall in love  
Don't fall in love

“That was so brave.” Blaine says

“Dude Barry Manilow would be proud.” Jude says guitar still in hand

“You’ve given me the courage to stand well, sit in front of my peers and proudly state I’m a Fan-ilow as well.” Artie says

“Guys, I like him too.” Jake chimes in

“Music aside, the guys go style. All right if it was ‘79 I’d be rocking the Manilow centre part instead of the Bieber.” Ryder says

“Are you guys kidding? You guys really like Barry, huh?” Sam says

“Dude, everybody loves Barry, but thank you for finally making us say it out loud. Go Sam.” Blaine says

“We love the Barry!” Artie says

In the auditorium

“Okay, everyone, it’s time to decide which Spice Girls we’re all going to be.” Brittany says in a British accent. “Mercedes I don’t think you should be Scary Spice just because you’re black.” She says in her normal voice

“Excuse you?” Unique says

“I think it’s really racist that the Scary Spice is the only black one.” Brittany says

“Marley should be Posh Spice because you’re so skinny and you make everyone uncomfortable.” Kitty says

“Kitty, I think that you should be Ginger Spice and I will be Sporty Spice.” Brittany says

“So if I’m not Scary Spice, does that mean I’m Baby Spice?” Unique asks

“Sorry I’m late, guys.” Tina says

“Tina you can be Scary Spice.” Brittany says

“The black one? That doesn’t make any sense.” Tina says

“That's what I said.” Unique says

“Oh my God, guys, you will not believe what just happened. It’s so horrible. I’m not even sure I can repeat it.” Tina says

In the hallway

“Hey! Tell me it’s not true. Tell me you’re not planning to sing a Chris Brown song.” Marley says the others trailing behind her

“Whoa Chris Brown not cool dude not after the misogynistic comments he’s made.” Jude says stopping and standing with the other girls

In the choir room

“Really? Seriously?” Marley says fuming

“I don’t get what you're all so upset about.” Jake says

“That’s why it’s upsetting.” Marley says

“Look, look, I get that Chris Brown is a douchebag.” Jake says

“No, no a douchebag is someone who misgenders Unique and I douchebag doesn’t even begin to cover Chris Brown.” Jude says

“I agree with Jude douchebag isn’t a strong enough word.” Unique says

“He brutally beat his girlfriend.” Tina says

“I’d like to drive my platform shoes between his nuts.” Jude says

“He beat up a window at Good Morning America.” Brittany says

“With a little digging I’m fairly certain I could find some transphobic, homophobic or racist tweets.” Quinn says

“As Jude said he has made misogynistic comments on Twitter.” Marley says

“What about the Frank Ocean fight in the parking lot?” Kitty asks

“But mostly he beat up his girlfriend, Rihanna, and then he got a picture of a battered woman tattooed on his neck; that dudes a psychopath.” Tina says

“Psychopath doesn’t even begin to cover it Tina.” Jude says

“I know, listen, I know, and that is why I chose his song, okay? The assignment is guilty pleasures. I like his music and feel bad about it.” Jake says

“You like his music?” Marley says shocked

“Some of it yeah, I mean, I don’t think it's all bad. It doesn’t mean that I like him, and it doesn’t mean that I think that he’s role model. We do Whitney Houston songs, okay, Britney Spears songs, and none of them are any role models.” Jake says

“You shut your mouth!” Brittany yells

“And what about Rihanna? Do we really think that bad girl RiRi is some kind of role model? I mean she’s the one who got back together with him.” Jake says

“That’s like saying Oliver Queen’s scars from the island are self inflicted!” Jude yells

“I know you didn’t just go there.” Unique says

“Are you kidding me?” Marley says

“Yes, seriously, we alway do Rihanna songs, and do we always agree with everything she says and does? Are we saying it’s okay to go back to somebody who abuses you? No we’re not. Look all I am saying is that I think that we should be able to separate the art for the artist.” Jake says

“Well, I don’t think you should, and personally, I can’t listen to his music without thinking about the horrible person behind it.” Marley says before walking out

“I agree, and if there was list of people's music that we should never do in this room, Chris Briwn would probably be at the top of that list.” Tina says following Marley out

“And unfortunately, we live in a democracy, so we can’t force you to do anything.” Brittany says

“We just really think you should think about it.” Unique says

“Chris Brown’s a total powder keg, dude.” Kitty says

“I just think he’s an asshole.” Jude says

“Yeah what they said.” Quinn says

In the auditorium

Phil Collins Against All Odds is played by Blaine on the Piano

“How can I just let you walk away  
Just let you leave without a trace  
When I stand here taking every breath with you, uhh  
You're the only one who really knew me at all”

“How can you just walk away from me  
When all I can do is watch you leave  
Cuz we shared the laughter and the pain  
And even shared the tears  
You're the only one who really knew me at all”

“So take a look at me now  
Now there's just an empty space  
And there's nothing left here to remind me  
Just a memory of your face”

“I wish I could just make you turn around  
Turn around and see me cry  
There's so much I need to say to you  
So many reasons why  
You're the only one who really knew me at all”

“Oh so take a look at me now  
Now there's just an empty space  
And there's nothing left here to remind me  
Just a memory of your face”

“Ta-take a look at me now  
Cuz I'll still be standing here  
And you coming back to me is against all odds  
It's the chance I've gotta take”

“Take a look at me now  
Ohh  
You take a look at me now…”

As Blaine finishes they all applaud him. “So who exactly was that about, Blaine?” Tina asks

“Shut it.” Kitty says

“It was about Kurt, obviously. That breakup’s still a fresh wound. But it’s really about the musical genius of Phil Collins, and like any great musician of his time, when you dominate that period with such success, people tend to make fun of you and put them down, but the truth is he’s a musical legend and I’m tired of people making fun of him. And I am going to dedicate a good part of my future to ensuring his genius is understood and appreciated. I am no longer in the closet about my love for Phil Collins.” Blaine says

“All right everybody let’s give it up for Blaine Anderson.” Sam says

“All right so it’s been a really great week so far, you guys, but now we are ready to present a triple feature of guilty pleasures.” Blaine says

“Starting off with our very own spicy ladies, girl power to the extreme.” Sam says

“The Spice Girls!” They both yell

[Unique:]  
“Ha ha ha ha ha!  
Yo, I'll tell you what I want  
What I really really want”

[Marley:]  
“So tell me what you want  
What you really really want”

[Unique:]  
0I'll tell you what I want  
What I really really want”

[Marley:]  
“So tell me what you want  
What you really really want”

[Unique:]  
“I wanna (Huh!), I wanna (Huh!), I wanna (Huh!), I wanna (Huh!)  
I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah”

[Kitty:]  
“If you want my future  
Forget my past”

[Tina:]  
“If you wanna get with me  
Better make it fast”

[Brittany:]  
“Now don't go wasting  
My precious time”

[Marley:]  
“Get your act together  
We could be just fine”

[Unique:]  
“I'll tell you what I want  
What I really really want”

[Kitty:]  
“So tell me what you want  
What you really really want”

[Unique:]  
“I wanna (Huh!), I wanna (Huh!), I wanna (Huh!), I wanna (Huh!)  
I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah”

[Brittany and Unique and New Directions Girls:]  
“If you wanna be my lover”

[Brittany:]  
“You gotta get with my friends ([Unique:] Gotta get with my friends)”

[Brittany with New Directions Girls:]  
“Make it last forever  
Friendship never ends”

[Brittany and Unique with New Direction Girls:]  
“If you wanna be my lover”

[Brittany and Unique:]  
“You have got to give”

[Brittany and Unique with New Direction Girls:]  
“Taking is too easy  
But that's the way it is”

[Unique:]  
“So! here's a story from A to Z  
You wanna get with me  
You gotta listen carefully  
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face  
You got G like MC who likes it on an  
Easy V doesn't come for free  
She's a real lady”

[Kitty:]  
“And as for me, haha, you'll see”

[Brittany with New Directions Girls:]  
“Slam your body down and wind it all around  
Slam your body down and wind it all around”

[Brittany and Unique with New Direction Girls:]  
“If you wanna be my lover”

[Brittany:]  
“You gotta get with my friends ([Unique:] Gotta get with my friends)”

[Brittany with New Direction Girls:]  
“Make it last forever  
Friendship never ends”

[Brittany and Unique with New Direction Girls:]  
“If you wanna be my lover”

[Brittany:]  
“You have got to give ([Unique:] You've got to give)”

[Brittany with New Directions Girls:]  
“Taking is too easy  
But that's the way it is ([Unique:] Oooooh!)  
If you wanna be my lover”

[Unique with New Directions Girls:]  
“You gotta, you gotta,  
You gotta, you gotta  
You gotta slam!”

[Brittany:]  
“Make it last forever ([Unique:] Oh!)  
Slam your body down and wind it all around  
Slam your body down and wind it all around ([Unique with New Directions Girls:] Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh!)  
Slam your body down and wind it all around”

[Unique with New Directions Girls:]  
“Slam your body down and zigazig ah”

[New Directions Girls:]  
“Ah ah-ah ah-ah, ah-ah ah ah ([Unique:] Oh, woah, oh!)  
Ah ah-ah ah-ah, ah-ah ah ah ([Unique:] Oh, woah, oh!)”

[Brittany with New Directions Girls:]  
“If you wanna be my lover”

“Best thing ever!” Artie yells

“So, how does it feel to be so open about your Spice love?” Sam asks

“Liberating. We only hope you can see if for who we really are.” Marley says in a pompous British accent

“I applaud your courage in such an openly Spice-phobic time. Especially you Kitty actually I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so.” Artie says trailing off to find the right words

“So what?” Kitty asks

“Happy to be part of the team.” Artie says

“That’s cause my girl is spicy!” Unique yells

“Well great job ladies. That was just fantastic. Everybody please settle down and welcome Mr. Jake Puckerman to the stage.” Blaine says

“Down with the Brown.” Artie says

“Team Breezy equals Team Awful.” Marley says

“Look, listen, stop. Stop, listen. I hear you okay? I’m still performing a Brown song, but it will not be Chris.” Jake says as the band begins to play Bobby Brown’s My Prerogative.

[Jake (New Directions Boys):]  
“It's love...  
It's love...  
Love... get busy  
Everybody's talkin all this stuff about me (Now now)  
Why don't they just let me live (Oh oh oh)  
I don't need permission  
Make my own decisions (Oh!)  
That's my prerogative”

[Jake:]  
“They say I'm crazy  
I really don't care  
That's my prerogative  
They say I'm nasty  
But I don't give a damn  
Gettin girls is how I live  
Some ask me questions  
Why am I so real  
But they don't understand me  
I really don't know the deal  
About a brother  
Trying hard to make it right  
Not long ago  
Befo' I win this fight  
SING!”

[Jake (New Directions Boys):]  
“Everybody's talkin all this stuff about me  
Why don't they just let me live (Tell me why)  
I don't need permission  
Make my own decisions (Oh!)  
That's my prerogative  
It's my prerogative  
(It's my prerogative)”

[Jake (New Directions Boys):]  
“It's the way that I wanna live (It's my prerogative)  
I can do just what I feel (It's my prerogative)  
No one can tell me what to do (It's my prerogative)  
Cause what I'm doin  
I'm doin for you now”

[Jake:]  
“Don't get me wrong  
I'm really not zooped  
Ego trips is not my thing  
All these strange relationships  
Really gets me down  
I see nothin wrong  
With spreadin myself around  
SING!”

[Jake (New Directions Boys):]  
“Everybody's talkin all this stuff about me (yeah)  
Why don't they just let me live (Tell me why)  
I don't need permission (I don't need)  
Make my own decisions (my own decisions)  
That's my prerogative  
It's my prerogative  
(It's my prerogative)”

I can do what I wanna do (It's my prerogative)  
Truly live my life (It's my prerogative)  
I'm doin it just for you (It's my prerogative)  
Tell me, tell me

[Jake (New Directions Boys):]  
“Why can't I live my life (Live my life)  
Without all of the things that people say (Ohhh Ohhh)”

[Jake:]  
“Yo tell it, kick it like this  
Oh no nooo”

“I can do what I wanna do  
Me and you  
Together, together, together, together, together”

[Jake (New Directions Boys):]  
“Everybody's talkin all this stuff about me (everybody's talkin)  
Why don't they just let me live (why)  
(Why don't they just let me live girl)  
I don't need permission (I don't need permission)  
Make my own decisions  
That's my prerogative”

“Everybody's talkin all this stuff about me (Everybody's talkin)  
Why don't they just let me live  
(Why don't they just let me live)  
I don't need permission (I don't need)  
Make my own decisions (My own decisions)  
That's my prerogative”

“You do realise that Bobby Brown allegedly got Whitney Houston hooked on crack right?” Artie asks

“And finally who’s ready to jump in the disco soul train? Let’s give it up for KC and the Sunshine Band!” Blaine yells

“Everybody wants you  
Everybody wants your love  
I'd just like to make you mine all night”

“Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
Baby give it up  
Give it up  
Baby give it up  
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
Baby give it up  
Give it up  
Baby give it up”

“Everybody sees you  
Everybody looks and stares  
I'd just like to make you mine all mine”

“Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
Baby give it up  
Give it up  
Baby give it up  
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
Baby give it up  
Give it up  
Baby give it up  
Can you give it  
Can you give it  
Give it up”

“Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
Baby give it up  
Give it up  
Baby give it up  
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
Baby give it up  
Give it up  
Baby give it up”

“Everybody wants you  
Everybody wants your love  
I'd just like to make you mine all night”

“Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
Baby give it up  
Give it up  
Baby give it up  
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na  
Baby give it up  
Give it up  
Baby give it up”

“Come on baby I need your love  
Do you know I want it baby  
Come on baby I want your love  
Give it up, some of your love  
Come on and play the game of love”

In the auditorium

“I've been cheated by you since I don't know when  
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end  
Look at me now, will I ever learn?  
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control  
There's a fire within my soul  
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring  
One more look and I forget everything, w-o-o-o-oh”

“Mamma mia, here I go again  
My my, how can I resist you?  
Mamma mia, does it show again?  
My my, just how much I've missed you  
Yes, I've been brokenhearted  
Blue since the day we parted  
Why, why did I ever let you go?  
Mamma mia, now I really know,  
My my, I could never let you go.”

“I've been angry and sad about things that you do  
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through  
And when you go, when you slam the door  
I think you know that you won't be away too long  
You know that I'm not that strong.  
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring  
One more look and I forget everything, w-o-o-o-oh”

“Mamma mia, here I go again  
My my, how can I resist you?  
Mamma mia, does it show again?  
My my, just how much I've missed you  
Yes, I've been brokenhearted  
Blue since the day we parted  
Why, why did I ever let you go?  
Mamma mia, even if I say  
Bye bye, leave me now or never  
mamma mia, it's a game we play  
Bye bye doesn't mean forever”

“Mamma mia, here I go again  
My my, how can I resist you?  
Mamma mia, does it show again?  
My my, just how much I've missed you  
Yes, I've been brokenhearted  
Blue since the day we parted  
Why, why did I ever let you go  
Mamma mia, now I really know  
My my, I could never let you go”


	15. Shooting Star

“I hold in my hand, ladies, gentlemen and Jude, our competition for regionals. From North Central High School In Indianapolis, the Hoosierdaddies.” Mr Shue says

“That's very clever.” Tina says

“And from Our Lady of Perpetual Loneliness in Battle Creek, Michigan, the Nun-Touchables.” Mr Shue says

“Wait is that convent?” Blaine asks

“Guys I like our chances against both these squads but we still got a lot of work to do.” Mr Shue says before Brittany interrupts him

“Mr Shue please stop talking. I have an announcement. I regret to inform you a deadly asteroid is headed our way.” Brittany says

“Wait didn’t we go through this at Christmas?” Blaine asks

“Yeah, and is it true you and Quinn got married? Did that happen?” Tina asks

“Shut up Tina. I’m naming this comet Tubbington-Bopp, and it is headed straight for Lima.” Brittany says

“Wait, so is it a comet or an asteroid?” Artie asks

“It’s both.” Brittany says

“Wouldn’t NASA know something about this?” Marley asks

“We can’t trust NASA. I mean, last month a meteor exactly like Tubbington-Bopp hit Russia with no warning.” Brittany says

“Oh, so now it’s a meteor.” Artie says

“That’s right, Artie. And when this meteorite hits, I will not be spending my time in this room preparing for regionals. I will be spending my last hours making amends with somebody who I need to get right with. Someone who I love very much. Lord Tubbington. So go back to your homes and hide your wife and hide your kids. McKinley High I salute you.” Brittany says before peacing out

In the choir room

“I’m really suprised that Jesus Christ Superstar has chosen to end the world this way instead of the way he killed the dinosaurs, which was a global yeast infection.” Brittany says

“Do you think God will let me be a girl angel in heaven?” Unique asks Jude

“Only if you think Odin will let me be sexless in Valhalla.” Jude says

“Wait, there are sexes in heaven? Does that mean you can have angel sex” Sam asks

“All right. Show of hands. Who's worried about Brittany’s meteor/asteroid/comet prediction?” Mr Shue asks as Jude, Sam and Unique put their hands up. “Okay. Well, here’s how I see it. There are two possible outcomes. First the meteor missed us and we went to regionals and we kick butt, which will only happen if we prepare. Or we only have a few days left to live and if that’s the case, we need to say everything we need to say to the people we love. I can tell you from those couple of weeks when I couldn’t talk to Emma that there is nothing worse than unfinished business with the ones you love. And meteor or no meteor any moment you have with those people might be your last one. Bruce Springsteen always says that he plays every show as if it’s his last, and that is the kind of urgency we need for regionals this year. So this week we’re either gonna sing our last songs to each other or get in touch with what it feels like to do that. Okay, everyone. Let’s make the most of it.” Mr Shue says as everyone leaves

In Brittany’s bedroom

“Lord Tubbington. I know that through the years we haven’t always gotten along. Like the time you filed paperwork to have me committed or the time you told the police I was the one that brutally murdered that whole family of mice. But I want you to know that through it all, I always loved you. I don’t think he believes me because we won’t say he loves me back.” Brittany says

“What’s Lord T’s favourite song? I mean maybe you could let him know how much he means to you by singing it to him.” Quinn suggests

“Well, I stopped singing to Lord Tubbington out of protest when he joined KKKK, which is the Ku Klux Klan for Kats.” Brittany says

“You know, you could bring him by and then we could all sing to him. That way he could see how much you love him, and everyone else in the Glee Club will stop feeling like you chose a cat over them.” Quinn says

“Babe despite your average test scores, you're a genius.” Brittany says

In the auditorium

“Hey babe.” Brittany says sitting on the stool opposite Quinn

“I wanna sing you a song.” Quinn says before strumming the guitar

“Do you hear me, I'm talking to you  
Across the water across the deep blue ocean  
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying”

“Girl, I hear you in my dreams  
I feel your whisper across the sea  
I keep you with me in my heart  
You make it easier when life gets hard”

[Both:]  
“Lucky I'm in love with my best friend  
Lucky to have been where I have been  
Lucky to be coming home again  
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh”

“They don't know how long it takes  
Waiting for a love like this  
Every time we say goodbye  
I wish we had one more kiss  
I'll wait for you, I promise you, I will”

[Both:]  
“Lucky I'm in love with my best friend  
Lucky to have been where I have been  
Lucky to be coming home again  
Lucky we're in love in every way  
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed  
Lucky to be coming home someday”

“And so I'm sailing through the sea  
To an island where we'll meet  
You'll hear the music fill the air  
I'll put a flower in your hair”

“Though the breezes through the trees  
Move so pretty you're all I see  
As the world keeps spinning round  
You hold me right here right now”

[Both:]  
“Lucky I'm in love with my best friend  
Lucky to have been where I have been  
Lucky to be coming home again  
I'm lucky we're in love in every way  
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed  
Lucky to be coming home someday”

“Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh  
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh”

In the astronomy classroom

“Esteemed members of the Astronomy Club, u have an announcement. I have recently discovered that the Tubbington-Bopp is not an asteroid. It is a dead ladybug at the end of my telescope. And I have also discovered that my telescope is not a telescope. It is a Pringles can. Hallelujah, we’re saved.” Brittany says

“Oh thank god.” Becky says

“However, however, I feel that I have disgraced this fine institution and I am hereby disbanding the Astronomy club.” Brittany says

“What this club is my community service.” Stoned Brett says

“Shine on young astronomers, and guess good night. Forever. It’s good news, we’re alive. I’m sorry.” Brittany says

Can I talk to you for a second?” Becky asks

“Sure. What’s up?” Brittany asks

“The meteor made me realise that there is something I really want to say to you. Brittany, I’ve always looked up to you.” Becky says

“Thank you Becky.” Brittany says

“Let’s both not ever graduate. The world out there is really scary. Someday, they will make me leave here, and I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” Becky says

“Okay, but, Becky, I can’t stay here. I aced my SATs, which means that if I graduate, I can go to whatever college I want to.” Brittany says

“But I can’t go to college.” Becky says

“Becky I know it’s scary. And I would be so cool to be a Cheerio with you next year. But I have to move on. And so do you. And if you really prepare yourself, the world doesn’t seem such a scary place.” Brittany says

“Pinky promise?” Becky asks

“Pinky promise that.” Brittany says as they link pinky’s

“I love you Brittany.” Becky says as they hug

“I love you too.” Brittany says

“Hey, Will you wanted to see me?” Coach Beiste asks

“We wanted you to join us for our first annual ‘Thank God the World Isn’t Ending’ glee practice.” Mr Shue says

“It’s where I can throw Junior Mints at Marley without feeling bad about it again.” Kitty says

“Sit down.” Mr Shue says

“I don’t know Will.” Mr Shue says

“Come on, we’re gonna sing some songs, maybe bust out a few dance moves. I may even rap.” Mr Shue says

“Okay.” Coach Beiste says

“All right! Let’s get started.” Mr Shue says clapping his hands together as a gunshot rang out the room goes dead silent then a second shot rang out. “Everyone just spread out and hide spread out and hide. Find a place to hide.” He says as the initial shock wears off as Coach Beiste turns off the lights Mr Shue and Blaine lock the doors while Jude and Sam push the piano out of the way the only sound in the room is the metronome ticking

“Are we even sure those were gunshots?” Blaine asks as everyone shushes him

“I spent my summers on my uncle's farm and I know what a gunshot sounds like.” Jude says as Mr. Shue shushes him

“Guys start texting, tweeting, let everyone know what’s going on. But don’t tell them we’re here, all right? Shooters have smartphones too.” Mr Shue says

“It’s okay.” Coach Beiste says quietly

“Guys were all just gonna stay here okay? Got nowhere to be, we don’t know what’s out there. I love you guys.” Mr Shue says everyone silently screams as the doorknob rattles 

The girls (Quinn, Rachel, Santana and Brittany’s group chat)

Q ball: I love you girls always have always will

Satan-na: babe what’s going on? Babe?

12 missed calls from Santana

15 missed calls from Rachel

Jude -> Fynn

Jude: I love you. Please be happy.

Fynn: Jude what’s going on?

6 missed calls from Fynn

Jake -> Puck

Jake: thanks for everything bro

Puck: Jake what’s going on?!

19 missed calls from Puck

Q ball -> perfect girl

22 missed calls from Q ball

Q ball: answer your phone Britt!

Blaine -> Kurt

Blaine: I’m sorry I cheated on you

Kurt: Blaine?!

11 missed calls from Kurt

Mr. Schue -> Finn

Mr. Schue: I trust you.

Mr. Schue: please take care of them

Finn: i thought you blocked my number

Finn: hello???

“No, wait wheres Britt?” Quinn asks

“In the bathroom.” Blaine answers

Quinn stands up and goes for the door only to have Jude and sma tackle her down. “I have to get to her!” She cries out in a hoarse whisper

“Sit down.” Sam says as he and Jude hold her down

“But Britt always drains her phone battery I’ve no idea if she’s safe.” Quinn says

“Tina isn’t here either.” Blaine says

Then Quinn makes another attempt at the door. “Quinn! No!” Sam whispers as she stands up

“I have to go, she's out there all alone and she doesn’t have anyone out there.” Quinn says Coach Beiste and Mr Shue grab her. “I don’t care!” She yells muffled by Mr. Shue’s hand over her mouth

“Quinn, listen! Quinn, listen. You are putting everyone’s life in danger. Look at them. Look at them. Look at them. Quinn, it's okay. It’s okay, Quinn. Quinn go sit with Sam, Artie and Jude. Go sit with them.” Coach Beiste says

“Brittany will be okay. She’s smart. She’ll be safe.” Artie says

“I know it’s just you know how she gets Jude stuck in her own head. I can’t lose her. Beth needs her. Hell! I need her.” Quinn says crying now

Artie makes a videotaped confessions and last words including the location of dirty secrets Marley’s and Jude song books and Sam’s final declaration of love to Mercedes

Artie -> Rachel

Artie: I trust you to get the right parts to the right people [ourlastmoments.vid]

Rachel: Artie what’s going on?!

8 missed calls from Rachel

In the girls bathroom

Brittany is standing on the toilet and footsteps approach slowly. “Brittany?” Mr Shue calls out

“Mr Shue.” Brittany breathes out in a sigh of relief she opens the stall door and Mr Shue pulls her into a hug. 

“It’s okay.” Mr Shue says as two other people come out of the other stalls. “Everyone all right?” He asks 

Outside the choir room

Mr Shue knocks rhythmically on the door as a swat operator marches down the hall and orders them inside as soon as Brittany was over the threshold Quinn pulls her into a hug. “What didn’t you answer your phone you big dumb idiot?” She asks laughing through the tears

“I left in your bag.” Brittany answer through her own tears

“I love you, you big dumb idiot.” Quinn says before their lips smash together then the all clear is given

Outside the school

Santana and Rachel sprint across the grass. “Oh thank God!” Santana yells picking Quinn up and spinning her around

“I thought we lost you.” Rachel says nuzzling into Brittany’s hair

“I’m never going anywhere.” Quinn says

“Ever again.” Brittany says as the four girls hug and cry it out on the front lawn

The next day everyone’s locker is searched metal detectors added and police are investigating and searching the building

“I couldn’t sleep, neither could my mom and dad, so we just stayed up all night, talking and crying hugging each other.” Blaine says

“We did the exact same thing. I held the girls and Beth as close as I could and didn’t let them go.” Quinn says her hand in Brittany’s

“I know. My parents want me to stay home this week, but I told them, no way. It sounds crazy, you guys, but I wanted to be in that chair room with you guys.” Tina says

“Trust me Tina you didn't. It’s the most scared I think I've ever been in my life.” Blaine says

“Finding our Quinn’s water broke is on a level playing field with that.” Brittany says

“Me, too, but not because of what was happening, but because I couldn’t get to you, or do anything to help you or even say goodbye.” Tina says

“I think the most important thing is no one got hurt.” Blaine says

“Yeah. And that you know you’re my family. Everybody in that room is my family. And I don’t want the last thing you guys heard from me is some snarky comment about how I never get solos.” Tina says as they hug

“Oh, I love you Tina.” Blaine says

Now you listen to me. Tina you were there in the choir room with us. You are there. You and Beth.” Quinn says

In the hallway

“Hi, baby.” Brittany says as they kiss. “Are you feeling any more normal?” She asks

“Not really. I mean I was genuinely terrified in that choir room, and you are out here all alone. I mean the thought of dying without saying goodbye to you terrifies me. And I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Quinn says

“You were all I thought about too.” Brittany says

“Not Lord Tubbington?” Quinn asks

“No. At first, I thought he might be behind it.” Brittany says

“I’ve kind of a jerk to him lately. I mean, it’s not like he’s nice to me though.” Quinn says

“I shut down his email account so he wouldn’t send you anymore harassing messages.” Brittany says

“Look he’s your cat, and if he’s important to you then he’s important to me. I mean one day fingers crossed he’ll be our cat. That said I’ve been thinking that we needed something besides Beth that’s really ours.” Quinn says reaching into her duffel bag which had a large heavy set cat with a collar on

“Lady Tubbington.” Brittany says reading the collar

“I specifically asked at the shelter for dat one so Lord Tubbington wouldn’t feel self conscious. And she’s our first furry daughter.” Quinn says

“How long was she in there for?” Brittany asks

“Only a few hours.” Quinn says

“She’s amazing. You’re amazing.” Brittany says smiling into the kiss

“I know I am.” Quinn says smiling like a love sick fool

In the auditorium

Jude noodles around on their guitar then begins playing John Mayer's Say What You Need To Say

[Blaine:]  
“Take all of your wasted honor  
Every little past frustration  
Take all of your so called problems  
Better put 'em in quotations”

[Blaine and Marley with New Directions harmonizing:]  
“Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say”

[Ryder and Blaine:]  
“Walkin' like a one man army  
Fightin' with the shadows in your head  
Livin' up the same old moment”

[Jude:]  
“Knowin' you'd be better off instead  
If you could only”

[Blaine and Marley with New Directions harmonizing:]  
“Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say”

[Marley and Kitty:]  
“Have no fear for givin' in  
Have no fear for giving over

[Quinn and Brittany:]  
“You better know that in the end  
It's better to say too much  
Than never to say what you need to say again”

[Blaine with New Directions harmonizing:]  
“Even if your hands are shaking  
And your faith is broken”

[Blaine and Sam with New Directions harmonizing:]  
“Even as the eyes are closin'  
Do it with a heart wide open”

[Marley and Blaine:]  
“Wide heart”

[Marley with Blaine and New Directions:]  
“Say what you need to say”

[Blaine and Marley with New Directions harmonizing (New Directions):]  
“Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say ([Ryder:] Say what you need to say)  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to say  
Say what you need to  
Say what you need to  
Say what you need to say (Oh say what)  
Say what you need to say (Oh say what)  
Say what you need to say (Oh say what)  
Say what you need to say (Oh say what)  
Say what you need to say (Oh say what)  
Say what you need to say (Oh say what)  
Say what you need to say (Oh say what)”

[Jude and The New Directions]  
“Just yesterday morning, they let you know I was gone.  
Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to me.  
You walked out this morning and wrote down this song,  
You just can't remember who to send it to.  
I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.  
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I never thought I'd see you again.”

“Won't you look down upon me, Jesus, You've got to help me make a stand.  
You've just got to see me through another day.  
My body's aching and my time is at hand and I won't make it any other way.  
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.  
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I never thought I'd see you.”

“Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun.  
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around.  
Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come.  
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.”

“Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.  
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,  
but I never thought I'd see you baby, never again, now.”

“I never thought I'd see you one more time again.  
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now.  
I never thought I'd see you, I never thought I'd see you, fire and rain, now.”

“I’m glad you guys are my friends. I love you guys.” Jude says

“I could never forgive myself if I didn’t tell you lot that I’m really proud of all of you and I know we’re gonna win at nationals.” Quinn says

“Group hug?” Brittany asks

“Definitely.” Quinn says as they hug


End file.
